SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: When will I learn?
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Dammit! Contact for kids and finances ONLY!

She managed to slip in the fact that she just went to get a prescription for birth control pills, since she can't be assured that her next man will have had a vasectomy.

I broke down and started sobbing into the phone. She is so much better at pushing buttons than I am.

Some day I will learn to keep the conversation on topic.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Why would you even converse with a person like that who clearly is trying to rub it in somehow? Don't speak to her on the phone. Email only and keep it business like.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

what an evil bitch.

For real, pass. She is just evil and vindictive. There is NO FUCKING REASON to tell you that, other than to inflict pain.

Fuck that Bitch and the asshole she rode in on.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
SeanFLA
Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Yep that or tell everyone she knows what a slut she's turned into.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

What the hell, pass? I've heard some stone cold crap in my time here, but this? Damn. That's just deliberately cruel.

(((((((pass)))))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25716 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

What a bitch!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

Sorry brother. Again that feared word rears it's ugly head. Time will give you a much better perspective of what a stone cold bitch she really is.

Strength and Mojo to move through it.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2979 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

(((pass)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17810 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 15th (Wednesday)

A couple months after separation STBX mentioned in passing how HE needed to get a vasectomy. Cruel and vindictive NPD pieces of shit... More reasons to move on if you ask me!!

((((pass))))

Email only!!!!!!!!!!

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 12:00 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

((((Pass))))

I had to communicate thru email only...it helped my healing not hearing him.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5262 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
veritas
Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

My ex asked me to bring him to the vasectomy he refused to get while we were married, then yonked to me about how he knew who his real friends were because he was all alone. I recently got a text from him saying I was the best thing that happened to him ever. Duh... yeah. He's still the worst thing that ever happened to me, just like this psychobitch is to you.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Pass (((Hugs))

When someone shows you who they are believe them....

Next time, she tries to contact you remember what she said about BC pills. Like everyone else said, she is cruel and vindictive and a danger to your emotional well-being and healing.

I do not answer the phone or physically meet and talk with the X nor anyone associated with him, that I feel he is using as a proxy to manipulate/abuse me. Email only.
Creates a great paper trail.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but in time I hope you will see you get to get away from this and you get to create a life surrounded by people that care about you and value you for the wonderful man that you are.

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 8:23 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2706 | Registered: Jan 2010
Linus1968
Member
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Seriously, what word could describe what she did? Like others have said, just another way to show how cold and stupid a WS can be.

That is why my communication is text only. You should, too.

On the flip side, I hope the fluffy rainbow unicorns protect her from STDs during unprotected sex.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 8:43 AM, May 16th (Thursday)]


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Hell, and my X is the mayor (FL)
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling much better today.

This isn't the first time that I've had so many people tell me what a bitch she has been. It started with the waitress who discovered me crying in a restaurant on D-Day.

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

Sometimes that makes me sad; other times I'm relieved that I opened my parachute when I did, and am hopeful about my future.

Like Linus said, I hope the STD gods smite her down.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
Faithful w/Love
Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

I'm sorry (((pass)))
I know the hurt trust me I do.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2782 | Registered: Aug 2011
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

On the flip side, I hope the fluffy rainbow unicorns protect her from STDs during unprotected sex.

Some of those waywards are just as stupid as they are cruel and mean..

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

I do this too. It's heartbreaking and sucks, but time to move on and start focusing on the future. As someone's tagline reads, "Don't look back. It's not where you are going."

Hugs!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

In light of all I know now, I've been going back and mentally rewriting the history of my marriage. I may not have EVER been married to who I thought I was.

Realized the same thing as well. It was then that I committed to get the heck out.

Sorry you had to hear that from her. Stay strong, pick yourself up and press on.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
laney57
Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

I'm just sorry. Find YOUR way, she is an enemy, as is my WH. The only thing I am thankful for is my 2 great kids!


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
hurtbs
Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, May 16th (Thursday)

I'm so sorry Pass. How cruel.

My ex used to leave condom receipts on the dining room table when he knew I would be at the house.

I promise you, those little "tricks" will ultimately help you to build up a hard shell when it comes to being around her. Be forewarned that when you stop reacting, she will try new things and it will escalate. This is why NC is so important.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
suckstobeme
Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

She is a heartless slob. Honestly. I long for the day when you reach the land of indifference and these bitchy, cruel things she says just roll off your back. Until then, fake it til you make it. Don't ever give her one more opportunity to gloat in the face of your pain. She thinks she's special because you cry over her. That will end real fast when you start ignoring her. Show her just how special she really is - she deserves nothing from you ever again.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Jan 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Yuck. Just yuck.

It stops when you say it stops. You'll have had enough one day and NC will become a breeze (except for the urge to unleash every now and then, that urge took longer to fade).

((pass))


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 21