I took off the last several days of work to get his shit packed and out of the house (we have a trailer we use for storage and I took everything out of it in order to put his stuff in it). First, I kept thinking this is absolute BS that I am physically killing myself doing this (he is a hoarder and has a lot of crap). My back went out, I am covered in bruises, and simply exhausted after five days of this. All the while he is doing nothing. I keep telling myself it is the big picture of getting his shit out of the house that is important, even at my expense. But during all this I was dwelling on everything that has happened and I can't stop wondering what I have done to deserve both this and his obvious hatred after all our years together. I know. He is broken, I didn't do anything, and there will never be an explanation. But that doesn't stop me from dwelling on it. I gave that rat bastard the best years of my life and here I am at almost 50 years old with nothing to show for working 30 years because of him and faced with starting over. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand, and it really puts me in despair. Just a really bad night after five horrifically exhausting days... God this sucks... BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
Posts: 829 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Nature_Girl Member Member # 32554
Posted: 1:06 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
Me too, sister. I'm packing all his shit, forced to start my life over completely. I'm angry and I'm shaking in my boots with fear. Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 8792 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Jrazz Guide Member # 31349
Posted: 2:13 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
(((Phoenix1 & Nature_Girl)))For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Posts: 14750 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Bluebird26 Member Member # 36445
Posted: 3:33 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
I did this too, it was the only way I get his crap out of my house and life for good. My XWH was a hoarder too, my house was so empty it echoed afterwards.
Keep focused on the bigger picture.
hugs guys it does get easier.
"You can never have too much happy!"
Posts: 1153 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia