I took off the last several days of work to get his shit packed and out of the house (we have a trailer we use for storage and I took everything out of it in order to put his stuff in it). First, I kept thinking this is absolute BS that I am physically killing myself doing this (he is a hoarder and has a lot of crap). My back went out, I am covered in bruises, and simply exhausted after five days of this. All the while he is doing nothing. I keep telling myself it is the big picture of getting his shit out of the house that is important, even at my expense. But during all this I was dwelling on everything that has happened and I can't stop wondering what I have done to deserve both this and his obvious hatred after all our years together. I know. He is broken, I didn't do anything, and there will never be an explanation. But that doesn't stop me from dwelling on it. I gave that rat bastard the best years of my life and here I am at almost 50 years old with nothing to show for working 30 years because of him and faced with starting over. What the hell did I do to deserve this? I just don't understand, and it really puts me in despair. Just a really bad night after five horrifically exhausting days... God this sucks... BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
Posts: 1016 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Nature_Girl Member Member # 32554
Posted: 1:06 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
Me too, sister. I'm packing all his shit, forced to start my life over completely. I'm angry and I'm shaking in my boots with fear. Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 9458 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Jrazz Guide Member # 31349
Posted: 2:13 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
(((Phoenix1 & Nature_Girl)))You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams
Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Bluebird26 Member Member # 36445
Posted: 3:33 AM, May 16th (Thursday)
I did this too, it was the only way I get his crap out of my house and life for good. My XWH was a hoarder too, my house was so empty it echoed afterwards.
Keep focused on the bigger picture.
hugs guys it does get easier.
"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.
Posts: 1307 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia