Wayward Side
User Topic: Getting Rid of Things
Member # 38109
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Not sure how much this means to anyone but myself but I will post anyway. Today I sold another item on eBay. This is the second item sold in the last few weeks that remind me either of my affair or the person I became. Today it was a pen that I carried around with me. I guess you could say it was a status symbol for me. Everyone at work knew about it as it was prominently displayed on my shirt each day. Prior to this I unloaded my iPad. It was on this iPad that my BS discovered my affair and I have been unable to use it since then. Yes, WS' can also trigger. Just before that I sold my car - also a status symbol. Today I drive an 8 year old truck (which I love), use my iPhone if I need to get to the internet or do something for work, and use a mechanical pencil which I seem to have grown an unusual attachment too. I miss none of these. I like being able to just be myself.

My own t/j: This weekend I am hoping to plant some flowers at our home. Turns out I really like doing this and I like pretty flowers. Again, I like being myself and not worrying about what others think. I wish I didn't take a path of destruction to get here.

Me: 47 BS: Cheerless (not giving her age)
DDay 12/31/12
30 days of TT
2 great teenagers
I had a LTA - EA and then PA. Escalated in 2012.
Never Giving Up Hope
The secret of life is to "die before you die" - Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 75 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 26349
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

I don't normally post in WS but I had to after reading this!

Good for you for doing this.

ME(BS):47 HIM (WS):50
WS Married 21 yrs together 33
dd#1- nov 16, 2009
DD#2-went out NYE 2009-found out Feb 2012
DD#2-Feb 5, 2010-date they had(found out Feb 2012)
dd#3 - June 16, 2010-broke NC
dd#4-Dec 31, 2010-broke contact
DD#5-Feb 21, 201

Posts: 186 | Registered: Nov 2009
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

Good for you, for taking something that made you feel horrible and getting rid of it! And best of luck with the flowers. I love them, but cannot grow them. I have the black thumb-o-death for plants. May they give both of you much enjoyment.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4124 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

I like being able to just be myself.

Love love love this. It's amazing how shedding these material things can make us so much lighter, physically and in our hearts. It's a great way to eliminate triggers too.

Awesome work.

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14721 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, May 16th (Thursday)

No stop sign, so I hope it is ok if I post.

It's amazing how shedding these material things can make us so much lighter, physically and in our hearts.

I think we live in a very superficial , material culture (just take a look at some of the movies that are recently out).
We , on this site, are all looking at deeper things.
I think we are all, WSs & BSs alike, starting to see what's important in life. Love, family, trust.
I tend to be very sentimental & it is difficult for me to throw out one of my kid's drawing from kindergarten(& there are many of them, believe me)---I 've been this way my whole life.
After Dday, it was so strange. I found I was throwing out everything. I just wanted a clean start. A new life. An uncluttered life.
So that is one thing that has changed.
The trauma of our bond being broken, & WH & I trying to forge a new stronger one, has made us both realize what is important in life, & it is not material possessions. It is love. Time spent together.

together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1100 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 5