SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: 44 going on 15
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Shutup  Posted: 12:49 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

That is how I feel. A few months ago I met a nice man through mutual friends. For a few times we hung out at as a group, I danced with him a few times, he made me feel beautiful without ever making me feel uncomfortable. We had good conversations and a lot of laughs but I also made clear that I was not ready for any relationship.

We lost contact. My schedule changed so I could not hang out with my friends as often, I broke my foot and did not go out for weeks.

Last night I went out with my girlfriends to 'celebrate' what would have been my 17th wedding anniversary. And there he was, with his friends at the bar. We locked eyes, he smiled and waved and all of a sudden I had butterflies like I can't remember when. I was transported back to my teenage days, heart racing, stomach churning and this burning desire to just go over and dance with him.

We did not talk, we just kept catching each others eyes. He left with his group of friends.

He had invited me to join church service with him way back when. I am contemplating going tomorrow. I have no expectation but I do feel that if I don't go it will be my loss.

I had not expected to be swept off my feet like that. To feel that draw and connection. Maybe it is just an infatuation, who knows. But I am amazed how this hit me when I least expected it.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 1:19 AM, May 20th (Monday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

But I am amazed how this hit me when I least expected it.

That seems to be the way things happen! Go to the service tomorrow. Why not?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

I agree with turtle, go to the service.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4508 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

Report back after service.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25258 | Registered: Aug 2011
cissi
Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

I don't understand why you didn't talk? You had the perfect opportunity then. I wouldn't go to service. Last thing you need would be to go and he is there with someone else. I would give him a call.

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southern California
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, May 18th (Saturday)

Valid points. We haven't seen each other for months. We were at the bar with our friends and I felt awkward walking over and talking to him. I was busy in conversations with my friends. I admit I was too chicken.

I know he is single. His best friend told my friend last night when she invited him to a Murder Mystery Dinner. He mentioned she should invite x as well, that he was not seeing anybody and would enjoy company.

I will go to service tomorrow morning. It is a safe place to see him and to have a conversation if it comes to that.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
SoHappyNow
Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, May 19th (Sunday)

You're never too old to feel that way, I'm quite happy to report. I and my "friend" are 64 and 61, and we frequently self describe ourselves as " acting like teenagers". I'm having more fun with him than I've had in decades!

Age is just a number, your heart has no years piled on top.

Good luck at the service.....


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14


Posts: 2290 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, May 19th (Sunday)

I'm feeling 15 just reading your post. A nice guy who invites you to church service? ***swoon***

I hope you had a nice time this morning! I think a few of us are waiting to hear how it went


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2230 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
LineInTheSand
Member
Member # 20399
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, May 19th (Sunday)

I think a few of us are waiting to hear how it went.

Yup, I'm one of those!


Posts: 495 | Registered: Jul 2008
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

Oh boy, my heart is still racing

So I went to church and yes, he was there as he said he is every Sunday and he was sitting by himself. Since he was sitting all the way across and I did not want to cause too much distraction squeezing by people, I sat on the opposite end. The look on his face when I walked in was priceless. The service was wonderfully delivered with a message that I really needed to hear today. During service I could feel him look over and we caught each others' eyes many times.

After service, as he was gathering his stuff, I went straight over to him. I had total tunnel vision, just focused on him. I have to admit, I was shaking but it all fell away when I stood right there in front of him and realized that he was nervous too. Before he could say anything I thanked him for telling me about this church and apologized for being a stranger for so long as I was working through my issues. He just smiled, hugged me and told me that he always 'knew' that I would come to church with him one day and that I needed time and space. We talked for a while and decided to meet up tonight at a local brewery to dance. Just us, no friends, nobody else.

I am nervous like a school girl. He is a great dancer and I always enjoyed him leading me in the past and enjoyed his touch. This man is different than anybody I have ever dated. He is 15 years my senior, white hair and in great shape, jeans and T-shirt kind of guy - and yes, age just seems to be a number with him. He was in Special Forces, he has been beaten down by life, and what you see is what you get. He is active in the community and has always been a gentleman to me.

Seeing him today just made me more curious and confirmed the butterflies. Who knows where this is going, but for now, I will enjoy this.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
crazynot
Member
Member # 24572
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

This is just WONDERFUL. I often wish we could show people in the JFO forum how amazing, thrilling and special life can be after all the pain. You deserve this and I'm delighted for you xxx


Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.


Posts: 862 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

******SWOON*******

So happy for you! Have a blast tonight!!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2230 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

He sounds amazing. Keep us posted!!!

Whatcha going to wear tonight?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I think he is a great guy. I am sure he has some skeletons in his closet but I am willing to find out.

I will wear a short flowy black dress, some nice heels and a short jeans jacket.

Dang, heart racing again.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

Awesome update! Have a great time tonight!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4508 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
PurpleBlueBella
Member
Member # 38579
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

Good for you! Have fun!!

Posts: 54 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: United States
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I would really love a love button!!!

Have fun... and report back if you can.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5061 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, May 19th (Sunday)


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

Just got home. Don't know how to put this in words. We danced, I was just so comfortable in his arms, we kissed and felt I wanted so much more but it was not time yet. I don't deny how much I was longing for him.

We will meet again on Thursday. We will go to church for a short prayer meeting. Then we will go for dinner. Not sure what will happen on the long weekend. My kids are gone. All I want is to spend time with him.

Nothing mattered tonight - the age difference, the different life paths we have taken. I hope we will continue on this path. I so much like that he knows exactly who he is. I feel something was set in motion that I hope will not stop any time soon.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 1:21 AM, May 20th (Monday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
SoHappyNow
Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, May 20th (Monday)

Oh, what a GREAT update!

You go, girl!


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14


Posts: 2290 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, May 20th (Monday)

Yay Fraeuken!!!

He is a lucky man.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
NaiveAgain
Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 20th (Monday)


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15222 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 22