SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Parental Alienation
scotslass
Member
Member # 39204
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I need to ask if anyone out in SI has ever dealt with this.

I am going through this right now. In December our custody was changed to 50/50 for my 16 and 17 year old. My 16 year old stole from me and has been hiding out at her dads. I have not seen her for 7 weeks now.

This is killing me. It's so much more painful than the separation and divorce. We go to court on Thursday. Any support would be welcome.


3 wonderful children (sometimes!!)
18 ds
16 dd
14 ds
Me. - moving on and upward !!!

Posts: 102 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't have any advice but I just wanted you to know you have been heard and I hope everything goes well in court on Thursday.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1509 | Registered: Aug 2010
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

http://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Poison-New-Updated-Bad-mouthing/dp/0061863262/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369015827&sr=1-1&keywords=divorce+poison

I have this book. I think it's critical to help combat parental alienation.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I missed your previous post last week with the court update. I just read it. I'm so glad you got your lawyer!!! I don't have any advice, but I'm following along. (((scotslass))


happiness is a direction, not a place.

Posts: 3948 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, May 19th (Sunday)

I hope you are in Dallas and get the woman judge my friend got there. WHOA she was a hard ass on the Dad for this kind of thing. he had kidnapped the 6th grader. Boy that judge let him have it! He broke court orders by doing that. You have to go to court to change visitation FIRST. Make sure you are not arguing in front of the child,,, this judge told both parents that if they argued in front of the child she would find the child new parents.

The father also lost his summer visitation bc of this AND they started doing the child swap with a 3rd party involved, that way there was a witness if the Dad did or did not show up with the child.

GOOD LUCK. The judges see creeps like your XH all the time...


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1692 | Registered: Jan 2012
scotslass
Member
Member # 39204
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, May 20th (Monday)

Thank you all so much for the support and help. I am going to download the Divorce Poison book right now.


3 wonderful children (sometimes!!)
18 ds
16 dd
14 ds
Me. - moving on and upward !!!

Posts: 102 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, May 20th (Monday)

Your daughter is at a confused age to begin with; add the issues you're all dealing with to the mix and it's even more difficult for her to process. Take the high road with her, show grace and sanity when dealing with her. One day she will no longer be a teenager and will probably figure it all out.... then she becomes your adult daughter who gets what happened and has a better understanding of what it is that you've all had to work with.... it's likely you will get her back. Sending hugs.......


Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 352 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, May 21st (Tuesday)

Google: Ju Jitzu parenting which I cannot spell.

I have read tons on PA mostly I feel hopeless there are no 100% effective helpful ways to combat this horrible brainwashing thing parents do to kids. I wish there were consequences for the parent engaging in this bad behavior.
Mental health professionals usually just look the other way or la la la I can't hear you. Translation: we don't want to get involved.


Posts: 4604 | Registered: Dec 2009
windowsnotwalls
Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, May 21st (Tuesday)

I've experienced it, but with a much younger child. You may want to check a few pages back on the NPD thread in ICR. There's another member dealing with a late teen daughter and parental alienation.

Hugs to you and strength.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Topic Posts: 9