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New Beginnings
User Topic: after 12 years
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, May 20th (Monday)

why do I feel the need to give my ex-h updates on his kids when he NEVER asks?

I guess I just answered my own question. Why should he ask when I tell him anyway?

There have been months where I didn't say a word and he still NEVER asked how they are doing in school, etc.

Now they are at an age that he can ask them himself, but as a parent to a parent, he never asks.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
FirstLoveGone
Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, May 20th (Monday)

Same here click. I do feel the need to do so, but I rarely actually do it.

I don't do it because I know he couldn't care less. And I also feel like I am the one raising our DD - I don't need his input, approval, praise, or what have you. I have been doing this on my own for the past 4 years.

I'm sad for DD that her father isn't an engaged parent. I'm sad for me because I never wanted to parent alone. It all around sucks.

I totally get what you're feeling.


Posts: 1274 | Registered: Oct 2009
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, May 20th (Monday)

I'm sad for me because I never wanted to parent alone.

ditto. that's a scar that has never fully healed and that's probably why I do it.

Sorry you have been rowing the same boat. It does stink.

[This message edited by click4it at 12:29 AM, May 20th (Monday)]


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, May 20th (Monday)

I read the most brilliant thing the other day... (I think it was one of heartbroken_kk's posts)

Just as someone full of negativity projects their behaviors on others, so do we project our goodness onto people who might not be deserving.

You have so much love and concern for your boys, and you can't imagine being their parent and not caring. You instinctively assume that he must have the same outlook, way way way deep deep down, and so you give him the benefit of the doubt and fill him in. That or you hope that it will inspire some kind of compassion in him.

Sorry. He's a dousche. Save that dime for yourself and your guys and go get some ice cream. (What, is this the 1920's? Jrazz = dork)

(((clickz)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17850 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, May 20th (Monday)

yep, Jrazz that makes perfect sense. thanks for posting that.

oh and thanks for making me laugh out loud SO hard when I read this:

Save that dime for yourself and your guys and go get some ice cream. (What, is this the 1920's? Jrazz = dork)

omg...


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Topic Posts: 5