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Reconciliation
User Topic: Does anyone have physical symptoms?
jost1125
Member
Member # 38710
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Since dday (about 7 months ago), I have lost 35 pounds, my body is sore every day, my stomach feels sick, I can't eat most of the time, I can hardly sleep, and when I do I wake up numerous times throughout the night, freezing cold because I am drenched in sweat. I just finished my last pill to get rid of thrush, but I still feel it so I have to go back again. This is the third time through medication to get rid of thrush, I dont know why its not going away. I've even been taking a probiotic that my Dr. recomended.

Lately I have actually been throwing up sometimes. My stomach is always upset, but never to the point of throwing up, except when I was pregnant (miscarried in Jan). I thought for sure I was pregnant, but I've taken two home tests (I know, they can be wrong) and they were both negative. So maybe it could be because the thrush won't go away, or maybe ulcers, or maybe the tests were wrong? who knows.

This morning when I woke up, my stomach was upset, but I didn't feel like throwing up. I was feeling sad to begin with (and cold because I was soaking wet) and WBF got out of the shower and came out to get dressed. I watched him, just looking at him as he was getting dressed and all of a sudden, I was watching him get dressed after having sex with someone else. He looked so comfortable, not caring about his nakedness (I don't like my nakedness), and I just thought about how he was probably just like that with her. I thought about her laying in her bad and watching him, just like I was doing, and my stomach rolled over, and I thought I was going to throw up.

I feel bad even suggesting that my physical problems are his fault, but I was starting to wonder. I'm so heartbroken over this whole situation and I guess I was just wondering if anybody has had physical ailments that they know came about because of the stress involved with dealing with an A situation.


Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012

Posts: 112 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Midwest
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Quite a few on here have - infidelity can be very traumatic not only emotionally but physically. I've lost 55 lbs, have trouble sleeping, I've had hives, my back ruptured from shaking (it wasn't that great to begin with) which left me partially paralyzed down my left leg, and I would have to say that my reaction isn't that extreme. People lose hair and have all kinds of ailments that are stress related. As far as feeling bad that your physical problems might be attributed to the A? Ask yourself, would your body be in this condition if there wasn't an A? Of course it is - it's not a coincidence. Now if you had a broken leg, that would be different, but all your symptoms sound stress related to me.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3284 | Registered: Dec 2011
easiersaid
Member
Member # 38398
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Yup, you described my first two months...plus I had about a month of terrible heart palpitations. Doctors said stress-induced and didn't know what I was even dealing with. I am 4 months out and so much better, at least physically.


Me: BS, 40 yrs
Him: WS, 41 yrs (4 PA over 14 yrs, 2 ONS, 2 current PA of 3 months and 2 yrs)
Two small children
Married 17 years
D-day: 1/26/13

Posts: 108 | Registered: Feb 2013
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Yup, my digestive system is completely out of whack now. Good times. I'm sorry you're hurting so much.

Have you had a full physical to rule out other problems (other than stress, that is?) Very likely stress could be causing your issues but you want to be sure there's nothing else going on. Have you been going to counseling? Maybe consider an anti-depressant? Depression can make your body hurt.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6141 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Sue1964
Member
Member # 37057
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

I went down 2 dress sizes in the matter of weeks.i used to shake feel sick and never hungry for about 12 months.why 12 months because I kept taking him back everytime like the first.
Stress is a killer and no man is worth that.we are worth more than that.

Posts: 287 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Uk
VD2012
Member
Member # 36317
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Before my wife's months of wayward cruelty began and then her affair I rarely got sick. This past year I have been attacked and assaulted by every germ I can think of. I have been constantly sick to the point some family and friends don't believe it or think something is wrong with me.

Yeah, the stress of this all has been killing me.

For 12 years I didn't throw up. I was proud of having an iron stomach. I'm constantly getting nauseous and sick to my stomach anymore. Just last week I caught some sort of stomach virus and spent a few days making the toilet my new best friend. Today? I am congested and have a cough. I feel like I just can't win.

It sucks. I have such a weak immune system anymore. I'm a migraine sufferer and the frequency of them has increased dramatically as well. I'm physically weak from being sick all the time. I'm sore all over constantly.

Of course I've also aged a bit. My hair line has noticeably changed. I have lines in my face, some grey hairs. My weight has fluctuated. This shit reeks havoc on the body.

My wife's infidelity has taken a tremendous toll on me physically and it is obviously having long lasting effects.


Me: 28 ~ Her (FR2012): 27
Together: 9 years, 2 children
D-Day: April 19, 2012

Surrender to the truth of life.


Posts: 466 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Traversing Dark Places With The Light of Truth
jost1125
Member
Member # 38710
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

I haven't been to the doctor for a complete physical, but I have gone for depression and am on an AD. I also went when I realized I had thrush and she said most likely from stress, possibly from BF who had it months earlier from taking an antibiotic.

I guess I know the depression, weight loss, and sleeping problems are stress related. The miscarriage could be any number of medical reasons, but I don't rule out the fact that I was so upset the whole time and cried all day every day.

I will be going back and I will talk to her about my stomach and the night sweats, I just wanted to see what others thought. When I was laying in bed this morning I thought it felt like there's something eating my insides, killing me. My whole body just feels sick. That's when it dawned on me that maybe it's me. Maybe I'm killing myself by being so devastated by something that somebody else did and something that I have no control over.

Maybe that's why I feel bad "blaming" him, if I was stronger, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.



Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012

Posts: 112 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Midwest
PeaceLove187
Member
Member # 33559
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

if I was stronger, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Stop that. NOBODY is strong enough to handle infidelity without some physical symptoms. Please do get a complete physical but if this is stress, then maybe you need to reconsider R? Maybe the stress is because you've suppressed the part of you that wants to run far, far away and your body is so strong that it refuses to be refused? The fight or flight syndrome is a powerful force designed to reduce stress. Maybe you need to pick one--fight or flight.


BW--Me, 57
FWH--Him, 58
Married 34 years
Empty Nesters

Posts: 611 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
TheAgonyOfIt
Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Absolutely physical symptoms. Stomach aches. Panic and physical symptoms of panic when triggered. Nausea. No appetite; lost 10 pounds from 121 to 111. Thin as a rail. Trouble sleeping and even 10mg Ambien dosen't put me to sleep. Terrible hunger pains but inability to eat. Last night felt i was starving to death. Weird whole body illness feelings. Like i was dying. Very physical. (((Sorry for your pain.))))


Me BS 49,Him: narcissist! Truly. 4.5yr LTA. DDays 4/2013, true Jekyll Hyde. Working through my anger at myself for making entirely too many compromises, and so so many excuses for him. Upset at my blindness.

Posts: 523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
GraceisGood
Member
Member # 17686
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

If you have ever read "old" literature (talking Heidi, or Little Women, etc.) they talk about stress causing illness and about love/kindness/care curing them.

seems to me that we have lost this "knowledge" somehow and expect our bodies to just "man up" during tramas.

Also seems to me that people (in general) have forgotten about love and care being an integral part of healing, but instead focus on the body as if separate from the whole and prescribe meds or diet or exercise and leave out what the soul needs.

The mind is truly powerful and can do amazing things in regard to healing IMO, but how can it if it is broken into bits?

Grace


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3425 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
amiready
New Member
Member # 38318
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Yes, I lost about 10lbs in a matter of a couple months, and felt sick to my stomach, again not throwing up but certainly close and sleeplessness. I went through a period where that seemed to alleviate and now for the past 5-7 weeks, its come back. My DD was the first week of Oct/2012

Posts: 35 | Registered: Jan 2013
struggling3
Member
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Oh yeah...I had extreme stomach problems for probably 6 months. My digestive tract went totally berserk on me. Many bouts of diarrhea every day (never had this a day in my life). At almost two years from Dday, I can still have an occasional day like that for no rhyme or reason. The majority of that stuff has left me and I hope the same for you....feel better soon!!!


Me - BS 54
H - WS 57/very remorseful and supportive
Kids 28, 25, 22
D-Day 8-5-11
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 275 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Thinkingtoomuch
Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

I'm not in R, but noticed this title and thought of giving some input. Am a RN of long standing, and would think that very possibly your thrush medicine could be causing at least an increase in nausea and other symptoms. Actually I just looked some up in my drug book and yes, the usual ones ordered, even the oral swishes, are very strong.If you took it with food would that help, or does it say to take on empty stomach? Some of your symptoms sound at least aggravated by the medicine and can make you feel pretty bad. Are you on other meds.? I would definitely tell your doctor and not suffer thru these. Even antidepressants can make you feel pretty nauseated (almost all meds. can do this) and feel sick.

I had read that weight loss could be extreme the 1st year after Dday. I have been very thin normally so I worked hard to prevent weight loss. Well, 12 months later the after A effects got worse, some very traumatic things happened, I got very sick, and had to keep working. On my 3rd yr. now, post DD and dealing with other big stress related issues, still can't gain weight, and still have new triggers that pop up. And now I am affected by stressors even more so.

We must take care of ourselves more than ever.

My best.

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 12:33 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 659 | Registered: Apr 2011
jost1125
Member
Member # 38710
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Exactly, Grace!! How can I heal myself when I'm so shattered? Let me guess-TIME? Ugh!! I hate that damn word now.

I'm just sick of feeling like crap. I haven't been working (been going to school), but with summer here, I need to get a job, and I just don't even feel like I can do it! I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it through a shift without crying or puking or something.

PeaceLove, I understand what you are saying, but I really have no desire to run far away. I have decided to fight. I have decided that I have spent too much time and energy on this guy over the last 13 years to let some other woman have him now, he's come way too far and it was me that got him there. Now he's an even better BF than ever because he realizes the need for communication and WORK in a relationship. I will not let someone else benefit from that, as it took MY pain for him to come to this realization.

I just wanna know how to feel better and not let my mind mess with my body so much, I guess.


Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012

Posts: 112 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Midwest
Thinkingtoomuch
Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)


Jost, don't know if you missed my post--mentioned the medication connection to your nausea and feeling worse, in the above post.

My best.


Posts: 659 | Registered: Apr 2011
jost1125
Member
Member # 38710
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Thinkingtoomuch-yes, I missed it, must have been writing mine.

I never thought of the medication, but it could make sense. I've had stomach problems with birth control pills in the past. This is the third time I've taken it, and it didn't bother me the first two times, but maybe now it's just gotton to be too much?

I just finished the pills (and no, I didn't take them with food, I can never eat in the morning when I was supposed to take them) so I'll see if it gets better, maybe.

Any idea why thrush just won't leave me alone?


Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012

Posts: 112 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Midwest
Bikingguy
Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Not nearly the level of symptons many of you have had but some that still linger.
Stomach ache/cramp for the first couple of months. Gone for the most part but does flair up from time to time. I have biked for years and never had a stomach cramp. Now when I push it really hard it's like a knife in the gut.

Unlike many I have gained weight - my desire is to lose. I lost 20 pounds last year (before D day) with a lot of hard work. Of course I have had a hard time finding the motivation to work out. Have started the last few weeks, but will have a bad day, eat like crap and put back on a couple of pounds.

For a week or two after D day my tooth was killing me. It is a crown and I figured it was infected or something. Dentist could not find anything wrong - then he asked how my stress level was - BINGO!
Also during my check up with Dr, he said my blood pressure was high, I responded "not surprised" and he asked why. Figured he had a right to know what was impacting my health.

I had planned on taking up swimming
and maybe try a mini triathlon event. That went out the window after D day. I have sort of concluded that I wil write off this first year.

On the other hand WW had her best run the day after D day!


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 667 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

his is the third time through medication to get rid of thrush, I dont know why its not going away.

Any idea why thrush just won't leave me alone?

Sadly, I've seen this a couple of times here on SI, and the reason eventually came out that WH(s) continued to have sex with OW(s) and repeatedly reinfected BW(s).

But I'm not a doctor.

(((jost1125)))


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2113 | Registered: Jun 2009
Thinkingtoomuch
Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

Most probably your thrush won't go away because of constant stress raising your cortisol level which raises your blood sugar which encourages the growth of yeast. Plus these other meds. and stress lower your germ fighting immune cells. (leukopenia, etc.)

This is personal, but oral reinfection could play a part I would think if you're intimate with your partner.

We all have a weak spot in our immunity and it's different for each of us. I had shingles in 2003 and it was excrutiatingly painful for months with lingering pain for 7 more years. But after Dday, at least not that, thank God, but like I said, it has caught up with me including bad bronchitis for months in 2nd year, and recently extreme stress symptoms and a thyroid scare last month.

All stress induced.

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 9:20 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)]


Posts: 659 | Registered: Apr 2011
GraceisGood
Member
Member # 17686
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday)

but with summer here, I need to get a job, and I just don't even feel like I can do it!

Do you really NEED a job? What I mean is there urgency, a financial need, or do you just need to have a job? If there is not urgency or dire financial need then I would say to try and find a "fun" job or a job that you can maybe lose yourself in, instead of a job you HAVE to have to make ends meet.

If you can find something you enjoy, something that can nurture you, something that allows you to escape a bit from the pain, that would help, but definitely not something that will add to your stress level if possible.

Also, I hate to say it, but I too have dealt with the yeast issue being re-infection, and that is worth looking into imo

Grace


We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF

Posts: 3425 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: how far the east is from the west
Topic Posts: 20