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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: it kills me when he cries
SusanR
Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

My WH has been able to see our granddaughter because he is staying in our house for now but I think he realizes that his contact will be limited after the dissolution/divorce.

Our daughter is pretty angry with him and probably won't schedule any visits.

So he's been taking lots of pictures and when i asked him what he was going to do with them, he started to cry.

He just doesn't seem to accept that he has an addiction that is costing him the things that he loves. i hurt for him. i hurt for me. i hurt for my granddaughter and daughter.


Posts: 1943 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Crocodile tears. That's all those are. Reaping what you sow. Remember that.

Be sad for your GD and DD b/c this is sad that they are collateral damage. Be sad for losing your M and having your dreams dashed, for that is something to be sad about.

But waste no sadness or even pity for crocodile tears. If he were really remorseful, you'd be getting a lot more than just tears. Tears of self-pity. Ugh. How unattractive and just wrong.

(((susanr)))

[This message edited by cayc at 7:29 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3106 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Crocodile tears. That's all those are. Reaping what you sow. Remember that.

He is sad that things are changing. Oblivious to the damage he has done to everyone else. Probably also kind of astonished at how badly he has fucked himself.

It will be all your fault soon enough. Trust me honey.

I can have a giggle now at the ridiculous soapie-worthy performances the sad clown put on but I well remember the pangs of pain when I thought he was in pain.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I was suckered in time & again by my STBX's tears & sobs. I didn't think anyone could cry like that if it wasn't genuine because *I* wouldn't cry like that if it wasn't genuine.

I realize now those were crocodile tears. Maybe he was feeling something at the time, but it wasn't genuine human emotion or honest assessment of how he'd screwed up. I suggest to you that your WH is also showing you crocodile tears in a blatant attempt to manipulate you.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9715 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I suggest to you that your WH is also showing you crocodile tears in a blatant attempt to manipulate you.

^^^^ This. Lack of positive action = no remorse.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
SusanR
Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

@vulcanizedd - you are so right. When i ask him why, all he can say is he didn't think I would find out so he didn't think it would hurt anything. That means he.has no remorse for his actions at all, only the consequences as they affect him..

[This message edited by SusanR at 7:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)]


Posts: 1943 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Coraline
Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, May 24th (Friday)

Yep. When my STBX got busted down a rank for his first affair, back in 2005,he came home crying, said (I still remember his exact words to this day), "I fucked up bad." I had known about the A (but couldn't prove it) for a year by then, so I wasn't at all surprised. I was just relieved to finally have it out in the open, and see that he looked honestly sorry. Yeah, my mistake. A couple weeks later he was back to treating me like shit, and I asked him why he'd even cried that day. I said, "Were you crying about possibly losing me, or were you crying about getting in trouble at work?" He said, "Getting in trouble at work." The saddest thing is that I was so messed up that I stayed with him anyway. :(

Don't fall for those tears. They mean nothing.

[This message edited by Coraline at 5:57 PM, May 24th (Friday)]


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 7