SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Finally Divorced!
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

After over a year and a half battle, my divorce was final on 4/10. He married OW on 4/20. Isn't that cute?!

I filed for bankruptcy as well and that was final on 5/10, and honestly I haven't felt this happy and free in a long time.

We still fight over visitation, mainly because he doesn't understand what's written in the agreement. I've suggested that he get a lawyer or take me back to court so we can get it spelled out for both of us, and of course he won't do either. So he just makes me out to be the bad guy. The issue at the moment is summer visitation - he's supposed to get 2 weeks non-consecutive in the summer, and what he asked for was 4, and a lot of that time piggybacked onto his regular visitation so I wouldn't see my toddler for 10+ days at a time...I said no. Proposed new dates that were fair, but because I didn't give him everything he wanted he took his toys and went home, and decided not to take him for anything other than his alternate weekends. But somehow that makes me the bad guy.

Anyway, I'm divorced, bankrupt, single, and happy as a pig in shit. I haven't felt this free in a very very long time. Time does indeed heal.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I'm divorced, bankrupt, single, and happy as a pig in shit. I haven't felt this free in a very very long time.
What a wonderful perspective, lostmommy. Congrats on your new life.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Thank you!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Congrats & best of luck on your new life.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I'm happy for you-- glad that your D is final. Looks like your XH has about as much class as mine when it comes to how seriously they treat relationships.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3621 | Registered: Oct 2011
jackie89
Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

That's wonderful that you're feeling this way!

I'll be going through this starting in a couple of weeks, so you're giving me hope.. Thank You.


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 511 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Anyway, I'm divorced, bankrupt, single, and happy as a pig in shit. I haven't felt this free in a very very long time. Time does indeed heal.

Thank you for sharing!! I am loving the happy as a pig in shit comment!! Congratulations!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
veelop5
Member
Member # 11089
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

How wonderful!!!! congrats!!!


ME-38
XH-40
3 beautiful boys (20,19 & 15)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
Divorce final 3/27/2013

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Pennsylvania
scotslass
Member
Member # 39204
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Congrats......Congrats......Congrats...........oh by the way did I mention......Congrats!!!!!!


3 wonderful children (sometimes!!)
18 ds
16 dd
14 ds
Me. - moving on and upward !!!

Posts: 102 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Great post!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Thank you all! Being here helped (even though I haven't been around much lately) & having an amazing support group of friends and family helped.

For those that are just starting on this journey that we didn't want to go on - it's a rocky road through a dark tunnel, but you can and will come out on the other side.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Congratulations.

And welcome to your new life...

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Congrats! The feeling "free" part is what I'm looking forward to.


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

oh I wanna be happy as a pig in shit!! Lucky girl - can't wait for that to be me!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
bigpicture3236
Member
Member # 27861
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I find it interesting that because he couldn't get what he wanted, he thinks he is punishing you now by not doing anything extra. How does he think giving you more time with your kids is a punishment???
Idiot!
I am so glad to see your attitude though. Keep it up and stay happy!


If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.

Posts: 3603 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Michigan
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:26 AM, May 24th (Friday)

Same problem here with first summer visitation..

XWH chose his 2 weeks, I set my vacation schedule around this. Then he says he can't get them those 2 weeks. Well, that is for you to figure out, DA....

Honestly, if he doesn't try to get them then, I will not say a word bc I really don't want my children with him and IT anyway!!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2217 | Registered: Jan 2012
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, May 24th (Friday)

Congratulations! (except for the bankruptcy part.... ) He is an idiot.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 8:28 AM, May 24th (Friday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17559 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, May 24th (Friday)

I find it interesting that because he couldn't get what he wanted, he thinks he is punishing you now by not doing anything extra. How does he think giving you more time with your kids is a punishment???
Idiot!
I am so glad to see your attitude though. Keep it up and stay happy!

Yeah, he's really punishing me by not taking his visitation. He has "headuphisass-itis". LOL

Thank you again everyone! As for the bankruptcy, although I didn't want to do it, it was a necessary evil. He wasn't keeping up his end of the bargain paying his half of our joint debts. I needed to protect myself and my son. So now I get to sit back and watch them go after him. Karma baby!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
stronggirl72
Member
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, May 24th (Friday)

I am so happy for you, and your perspective on things gives me a lot of much needed hope.


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 154 | Registered: Oct 2012
dreamlife
Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, May 24th (Friday)

He's a Cretin...but I am happy for you!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 21