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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Interesting
stilltrying2025
Member
Member # 39145
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

So, after a nice phone call this evening I found out that WH is telling everyone that I called the OW and said a bunch of mean things to her and then she called him and said "Your wife is really pissed at you; don't contact me again." Huh???? She chose his marriage over their friendship but he won't? This doesn't even make sense to me right now! I never talked to her; I left her a voice mail telling her that it was time me and her had a discussion about this friendship between her and my husband. I did not say anything mean in the voicemail. What the hell is his point now? If she could see that what they were doing was wrong and it was upsetting me and she ended it, why can't he see it? Is he just so deep in a fog that he can't find his way out of it? It really makes me wonder what is wrong with him. No wonder he text me last Friday and said "I know what you did" and "and you made things worse". It's because he got rejected by the OW!! Hmmm....how does it feel asshole! Why in the world do I want to R with this man? He shows no remorse for anything he has ever done to me or the kids. He has never felt guilty about things he has done to me and his kids. He'll never show me remorse for this betrayal. I'm so frustrated with myself right now!


Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated

Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Minnesota
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

I call it cranial-rectal-inversion. Their head is so far up there arse they can't even see the fog.

You caused OW to break it off with him. You are the bad guy, because your phone call stopped OW from going any further in the relationship. You contacting her regarding their friendship let her know the marriage is alive which is probably NOT what she was hearing from him.

You exposed him and his lies...and OW dumped him. Bad, Bad BAD stilltrying - You were not to do that.

He has to blame someone... He can't blame OW and it isn't him... so it must be you.

Hugs, cause the stuff they come up with .... well you just can't make this stuff up... but they do.. how they figure anyone will believe it ... well it's beyond me.

More hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4850 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
TrustNoOne
Member
Member # 16591
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

You exposed him and his lies...and OW dumped him. Bad, Bad BAD stilltrying - You were not to do that.

/gasp/ Really? As his wife, how dare you interfere with his affair!

This shit is crazy-making.


Posts: 1320 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: SoCal
NoraLee
Member
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

He has re-written her conversation with him ending the friendship...they would be still happily in luurrrve if scary mean threatening wifey hadn't scared ow away.

Still - you deserve sooo much better...sometimes we put up with so much shitty treatment that it becomes our "normal".

Stay strong Still - make YOU a priority!


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, May 23rd (Thursday)

Just to share my experience, MOW and my WH have "broken up" quite a few times, only to get back together within a week. She might just be pissy and trying to show him the door to see whether he works for her or not.

But if he's bitching at you because things are going south with her, he is NOT working towards R with you.

I got "you ruined everything for me" when I ran into the twink one time.. If I ever needed more proof that he was NOT ever coming back to the marriage, that was it.

Why in the world do I want to R with this man?

You don't. You want to R with the man you thought he was. But he is showing you who he really is now. Believe him..

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2000 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, May 24th (Friday)

I also called OW and told her that STBX was married and had two very small children (she didn't know he was married nor that he had children). He was PISSED at me as she called him and tried to break things off. Yeah, he told me that I "ruined everything" for him. It only lasted about 48 hours. She took him back and has been with him ever since. She's even caught him in several more lies since then, but still sticks around.

So don't be so sure that it's over for good. These AP's are stupid.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 812 | Registered: Mar 2013
stilltrying2025
Member
Member # 39145
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, May 24th (Friday)

Yup, it's easier to blame me and hurt me then to acknowledge that he has done something wrong. I believe he will continue in this "fog" or "head up ass" for a long time. He has been very hurtful these past 2 weeks but that is him getting revenge on me for moving out and contacting OW. I don't think he understands that revenge is only going to make things worse, not better, even though he already says that I made things worse by contacting her. Oh well, I guess that's the way it has to go. I've noticed though a change in his habits this past week though. There still is no cell phone contact with OW. There are no odd numbers showing up on the bill (I know, don't hit me with a 2x4 for looking, I'm working on it!). He hasn't been spending the money that he usually does; he's only taken $100 in cash instead of $200 and daily trips to the gas station. And, obviously, he has been talking about me. So, I guess I'm still on his mind?!?!?! Believe me, I am not holding my breath. I really think he's playing a game of "who's going to blink first" and guess what, it's not going to be me. Yes, I want to R but until he sees and feels the consequences of his actions that won't happen. He has to hit rock bottom in order to come around. I am going to go strict NC after this weekend if he gets a hold of me to work on some issues about the kids, finances and separation. I will only take my child support from him and make sure the mortgage and house insurance is paid; the rest is up to him. I don't care if they turn his power off, water off, gas off; not going to be my problem. I'm going to make sure my bills are paid and that's it.

Boy, I'm re-reading what I'm typing.....sure hope I'm strong enough to do all this! I can be a big talker sometimes......

Thanks to everyone for their input....it's much appreciated!


Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated

Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Minnesota
Topic Posts: 7