No, life does not just play out. That is something the conflict avoider in me would love!! Like the great rock band Rush said even if you decide not to choose, you have still made a choice.
You BH is responsible for his healing and you are for yours. If you both do what you need to make healthy choices you will be ok. In my case, my WW made great choices to heal while I wallowed in the pain and it fueled and strengthened behaviors that were already there and I chose by action and inaction to be a WH.. What I learned is we are either busy being complacent or busy getting better and healthier. A lot of times its some of both and that's ok. Stay focused on getting healthy and making the changes you need to make. THAT is all we can do in the end. Good luck