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User Topic: Facebook and posts to your loved ones
positively4thst
Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

Have to vent somewhere annonymous. Just read a post where someone was celebrating their 18th wedding anniversity and she posted a loooong paragraph about "18 years ago I married my BFF", ()we've come so far, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This was posted to 600+ of her "intimate" friends. She friended me because I work with her SIL(???) but I don't know her on a personal level, nor have I ever had a personal conversation with her. Considering I work in her doctor's office, I found it unprofessional and awkward but I accepted. I recently unfriended her because we are not "friends" but I still see her posts through other people.

To me, stuff like this is all about props to yourself. And I'm sure she's digging that 75+ people "liked" it. For me, this is something so intimate that I feel you need to share this stuff with your spouse that you've actually survived 18 years with! It's one thing to say something like I'm in love and happily married for 18 years, but to put on FB what you should be putting in a card or words to your spouse just feels cheap.

[This message edited by positively4thst at 2:54 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1252 | Registered: May 2009
Mama_of_3_Kids
Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

Shrug...I do it from time to time. For me it has to do with publicly supporting my h. He is a completely different man than who he was years ago and I don't see a problem with publicly recognizing him. If people don't like it they can block my posts...I don't necessarily like what everyone else posts, but it's their page and they can post what they want; I have the ability to block their posts, if I choose to (or unfriend them, if I need to).

As far as friending her, I would be careful about friending people like that (people you know of but don't really know), esp given the nature of your job (and even more so if they're a patient where you work). It, unfortunately, could cause problems.

[This message edited by Mama_of_3_Kids at 3:58 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
idiot85
Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

A guy at work put on FB "I am the luckiest man in the world to have my lovely wife so people should keep out of others business". I just thought oh no, don't do that...

Tbh though- I don't put anything to or about the Mrs on FB- that's just a preference though


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
positively4thst
Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

Thanks for your feedback Mama. Maybe I need to look at it differently.

[This message edited by positively4thst at 4:09 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1252 | Registered: May 2009
positively4thst
Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

@Idiot:

Yes, that's my point - use some filters please! The more you share with the public, the less personal/important it becomes.


Posts: 1252 | Registered: May 2009
idiot85
Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

I put stuff on like "who wanted Dortmund to win tonight?" Ha

I try to only add actual friends but, I'll be honest there are some randoms- friends siblings for example.., but still- anyone on FB should know already- I love my wife. If they don't, they mustn't know me so... 'de-friend'!!


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

Meh; if someone wants to openly declare their love for their spouse or SO on FB, more power to them.

Now, if I were to post, "36 years ago today--oh, wait, nevermind ", that might be wrong...

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 5:51 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
trying_2_recover
Member
Member # 28778
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

I post my status's without consideration of who my friends are for the most part. If you don't want to know what I'm thinking or doing unfriend me or change your settings IMO. My wall is for ME.

Posts: 244 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Washington
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

I pretty much find all of facebook over the top. Shrug. Occasionally I will wish I had an account to keep up with a handful of people ..or for some sort of contest or coupon .
There's nothing appealing enough about it for me to overlook the things that creep me out about it.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44988 | Registered: Sep 2006
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

I appreciate that FB is primarily for people to post the positives, and generally not the rest... Some days I love it, and "like" every thing, and some days I have to take a FB break, or just skim past the rainbow and unicorn posts.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
sad12008
Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, May 26th (Sunday)

I agree with your basic position, positively4thst.

Yes, that's my point - use some filters please! The more you share with the public, the less personal/important it becomes.

I think there are two schools of thought with FB friends: some people seem to friend anyone and everyone, regardless of whether they even really know the person; others "friend" actual friends.

I'm in the latter category: if I wouldn't want you in my house, browsing through my photo albums, then I'm not going to have you doing so 'virtually'. There's just (to me) an intimacy in sharing details of one's life that is precious and shouldn't be cheapened by broadcasting to the masses. Others don't seem to share that view.


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3893 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, May 27th (Monday)

I'm with sad. I only friend actual friends, and no one related to work (I keep my work life and personal life separate). I really only have a FB account to keep up with my kids and scattered family. I am very selective about who I friend. And all my posts are completely benign with absolutely nothing personal because once it is on the Web it is ALWAYS on the Web. Being a very private person this works for me, and there really is TMI being posted by many, IMHO. My kids have hundreds of friends,' but I don't even know that many people, much less want to share personal info with them!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1203 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Patsfan09
Member
Member # 25965
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, May 27th (Monday)

I only friend people I know IRL. If you don't like what I post, feel free to block/unfriend me.


WH-43
BW-44
T-18y M-15y
2 children (dd-13, ds-12)
1 EA/PA 5/2009-10/2012 (with multiple ddays)
Final dday 4/10/14
*went from EA to PA while we were in MC for over a year.

Divorcing his broken @ss


Posts: 99 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 13