SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: She will never be truly out of our lives
ladya
Member
Member # 29184
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

Things have been going great for us. D-day was 3 years ago, we have settled into a nice routine. We have worked hard at R and have a much better M.

With that being said, today just set me way, way back. It suddenly dawned on me that the OW's daughter is in my nephews graduating class, So, first I had to confirm with my sister whether or not they were friends. That was not fun. She verified my nephew knew her but no, they are not friends. I talked to FWH about this and all he said was so what, what if they did show up, what's the big deal. You are prettier than her, smarter than her and a lot classier than her so what's the big deal. I tried to explain that it feels like she will never truly be out of our lives no matter what. I told him all I needed from him was, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this to us. I'm sorry you can't even enjoy your nephew's graduation, I'm sorry." He got so mad and all he could say was I thought you knew how sorry I was after all of the changes I have made.

The whole thing sets me back and ticks me off. I feel like he just dismissed my pain. I know he wants to forget all about his affair but it is not that simple.

Thanks for listening. Looks like a few crappy days are in store for me.


Me:BS married 29 yrs.
5 kids

Time really does heal.
EA D-Day May 2008
PA D-Day May 7,2010 (same A)


Posts: 883 | Registered: Jul 2010
Flatlined123
Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, May 25th (Saturday)

I so can relate to what you are saying. We are over 3 years out and I still hate bing any place OW is. I long for the day that I can say "so what".

H doesn't want to be anywhere near where she is. We didn't go to his school reunion because of this face (she and her now husbnd graduated from same school as H did).

I agree, just to want a little empathy from your H isn't asking and NEVER should be asking too much.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 673 | Registered: Jun 2012
Dare2Trust
Member
Member # 21183
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, May 26th (Sunday)

ladya,

I'm so sorry - Sometimes our Wayward spouses just don't understand; and it really does feel like they are dismissing our pain.

((((Hugs)))))


Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.


Posts: 6126 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Texas
Undone1
Member
Member # 37683
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, May 26th (Sunday)

Don't give the OW another thought. She is not worth your time or energy. You are strong, beautiful, and your WH chose you. Don't give your power to her. She doesn't deserve it! Hold your head high. The best retribution is your having a great life and a great marriage!!!


Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"

Posts: 301 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Missouri
Althea
Member
Member # 37765
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, May 26th (Sunday)

(((ladya))) For the last several years WH and I have been trying to find a way to move back to the state where we both grew up. There aren't a lot of professional jobs there, so we have only gotten as close as the nearest major city a few states away. About a week ago it suddenly appeared that WH would be getting a position where he could work remotely from anywhere. It is great news, and I was so happy until I told my family and they kept saying things like, now you can move back! Well, guess who lives in the part of the state we would move to? It is a small area, and I just cannot deal with the thought of her life in any way overlapping with ours. It just feels like one more thing WH and OW destroyed for me. My WH was apologetic for ruining the whole state for me, which is kind of funny; but also kind of not because he did!

Anyway, just wanted you to know that I get it. AND it isn't too much to ask for your WH to get it too.


Taking it one day at a time.

Posts: 457 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 5