New Beginnings
User Topic: Financial irresponsinsibility. I am an ostrich. Damn foo.
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)

I am blaming my Dad. This can't possibly be my responsibility. Just because I'm almost 50 doesn't mean it's on me now, does it???

OK. It's my job to grow here. I get that. I just.... don't. Why? I persist in avoiding becoming responsible with my money (or lack thereof).

I'm unemployed and have been since Dec 2011. I'm typing on my phone and really ought to open my laptop to divulge more, but suffice it to say that I am ruining my credit, living hand to mouth, racking up debt, blowing off creditors, etc. And buying good beer. It's. Just. Wrong. And I know it.

Amazonia just smack me, OK?

I am posting because this is really going to fuck up my NB, and I desperately need some support in becoming more accountable, to myself.

How do I start? 2x4s welcome and needed. I can't keep living this way.

BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)

Become a Dave Ramsey listener, today,go to his website. Today is the day you take responsibility for your life, and your future. Life becomes better when you don't hide and start being an active participant.

Good luck.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 38705
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, May 28th (Tuesday)

Sounds silly, but I spend irresponsibly when I am dieting. I sub shopping in place of eating. I know it and can curb it now.

Are you being financially "foolish" in place of something else to fill the void?

(probably not that easy, but if you know what trips the switch in spending, it could lead you to some self realizations...)

Sometimes it's lonely, Sometimes it's only me & the shadows that fill this room...
But it's a great day to be alive & the sun still shines when I close my eyes ~Travis Tritt

Posts: 84 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, May 29th (Wednesday)

You're not a fool. I'm in the beginning stages of doing all the same stuff: Know what I should be doing; not doing it.

This is something I've been talking about with my shrink. It's a common thing to happen to depressives. I'm in therapy and taking a wackload of antidepressants, but still having problems.

You should discuss this with your doctor. Make an appointment to see your doctor right away!

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jan 2013
Helen of Troy
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)

Well at least you are very brave and honest

Posts: 4719 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)

Sorry you are struggling (((hkk)))

I had an ostrich spell after the D, just didn't want to face reality. A year after admitting I had a problem and couldn't keep blaming the D, things are back on track and I don't have that gnawing feeling any more.

Mint really helped me feel more in control. A lot of people here have had success with Ramsey. Really just facing it will do wonders, its often not as bad as you think.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3477 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, May 29th (Wednesday)

my desk is piled with receipts, unopened envelopes, junk mail, random tools, tape, stuff I have actually opened, file folders with and without labels, etc.

it's kinda a disaster. I hate going into my office.

I really run hot/cold or rather warm/frozen with my finances. When I don't have enough money to make ends meet, I freeze. I can't function even to manage the things I can afford

I guess this is another manifestation of depression. I do see my therapist almost weekly. I am trying to not grow my debt with her at least!

I wonder if this is also related to the lack of progress on D. Supposedly my P/A WH was going to file. Uh, yeah, right. I think if I want to get divorced I have to do it myself. I was the one responsible for our finances. When I "made" him do the finances he basically did what I'm doing now, which is nothing.

I hate this.

BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.

Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 7