I think FRM hit it on the head. You need two healthy people to have a healthy M, and you can only control yourself and your healing.
I know last night our son was sick and I knew what to do. In a weird way I felt better. What is that!
I think it was because you were able to focus on someone else, and not look at yourself. I know that I used 'staying busy with kids' as a way to avoid feeling emotions, dealing with the unpleasant things going on, etc. It's a way to avoid getting in touch with what you are doing and feeling IMO.
That I spend my time fixing everyone else but me.
Again, I think it is because it is way easier to help others than do the hard inward looking and healing yourself. When I start to really dig, it sucks. It sucks to see all the shit that I did, and was done to me...But you can't heal unless you look inside.