SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: he is such a jerk
copingdaily
Member
Member # 34713
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

My WH and I havent been able to have luch during our work days for about a month now due to his work schedule. He primarily eats at the office or takes a thirty minute break and eats at a surrounding fast food place. I occassionally go eat with a coworker(female). He has a problem with it. He dosent want me eating luch or going walking with my friends because he dosent do it so neither should I. This upsets me, we hang with his friends every weekend, yes I am there but none the less HIS friends. I get so upset I throw every bad thing (except the affair) suprisingly at his face, all the lunches he had with female coworkers he lied about all the partying he did and lied about. ALL OF IT yet he still dosent get it and accuses me of not changing and throwing the past in his face. UUGGGGHHHH


Treat others as you want to be treated

Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Texas
Conflicted1
Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Abuser 101 tactic is to isolate. That's a red flag to me not necessarily related to wayward behavior. He should want you to have healthy friendships and support network.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
copingdaily
Member
Member # 34713
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

When he was able to have guys bbq on most Sunday afternoons he didnt care if I walked with friends or the lunch thing. Its been about two months that his friends wife hasnt let it happen anymore, the guys will come by the house but no more" guy time" without me there. So now he acts like if he cant have "friends time" neither can I. Selfish, Ahole!


Treat others as you want to be treated

Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Texas
PinkJeepLady
Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Yeah, please know you have the right to have friends, anyone of your choosing. It's not ok for him to be controlling like that.
Having friends in this situation has saved the little bit of sanity I have left.
Take care of yourself!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 459 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Abuser 101 tactic is to isolate. That's a red flag to me not necessarily related to wayward behavior. He should want you to have healthy friendships and support network.

Yep ^ This

My WH is trying some control tactics on me too. Not gonna budge. I got myself back up with the 180 and surrounded myself with wonderful friends who were there for me through my ordeal.

The WS usually is the one to lose the privileges. At least that's how it works in my book.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2251 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
doggiemom12
Member
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Tell him to take a hike. You have a right to your friends. He is the asshole here, not you.

Don't ever let him tell you what you can or cannot do. Very abusive.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
wifehad5
Moderator
Member # 15162
Red  Posted: 6:26 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Please remember which forum you're in. If this turns into a vent thread we will be forced to move it to General.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35395 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 7