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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Need help responding to poopsmears douchebaggery...
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Xpoopsmear is pissed because I am finally taking him to court over all the child support he shorted me. The amount of money is upwards of $50,000 over the last eight years. He has shorted me by lying about his income and not paying child support on certain portions of his income he feels he shouldn't have to. And of course, since Xpoopsmear thinks he makes all the rules he's mad that I'm not following them.

Fast forward. DD18 graduates this weekend from high school. A couple months ago, back when he thought he was glossing over this child support issue, and that it might work, he and I went in together on a gift for DD18. We've bought her a laptop. Because I fronted all the other graduation expenses, (robe, invites, stamps, dress, cash gift) he gave the money for the laptop. The gift will be from both of us, however. The last communication I had from him was asking how many members of his family would be at the post graduation luncheon. We were making the reservations and I needed a number. It was a civil exchange of information.

Today since child-support was late I sent him a text asking about that and asking when he wanted to let DD18 open her gift.
Below is my text:
When will you be transferring the child support? Also, when would you like DD18 to open her present?

This is what I got back:

Don't ask first question again. You will get the same answer. When I get paid. Would you like a screen shot if my bank account balance. I get paid tomorrow as I stated to you always happens on months that I get three checks. I don't really care when she opens it. Just say its from you. I am sick of dealing with you.

Now let me just say, I know he's lying. Having requested his bank statements in discovery, he's always been paid earlier in the week even on months that have three paydays. Whatever. By now I know he's a lying poopsmear.

I have yet to respond to this message and I need some SI wisdom on what I should say, if anything.

[This message edited by debbysbaby at 5:47 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 843 | Registered: Aug 2011
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Crickets. He answered both of your questions and did not ask any questions of you. If you do not get the CS tomorrow, then ask about it again because he does imply that you will get it tomorrow.

Good luck. And congrats to your DD!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

*chirp* *chirp*

If you don't get your CS, document and pass along the info to your attorney for the child support arrears case. I'm not sure asking about it if it doesn't come will be espcially helpful. You'll probably just open yourself to another tirade of douchebaggery


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Big chirpy crickets, honey.

And fingers crossed for court.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Absolutely nothing to respond to in his last text. Let it ride all the way to court.

Congrats to DD!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Thank you everyone. Hearing you guys say it, the answer was so obvious. I kept thinking of what I should say back when the answer was absolutely nothing.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 843 | Registered: Aug 2011
Clarrissa
Member
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Just wanted to say that he should consider himself lucky he doesn't live in Ohio. If he did and was that far behind on CS, he'd have his assets seized and his DL suspended until he was caught up.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5860 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, June 1st (Saturday)

Yes, the crickets are chirping loudly.

This happens here too and we end up going without. Only twice in a year and a half I ever asked and it was four weeks with nothing and I got bit for it.

So I write it down somewhere and don't show anyone but L. I keep a record of it, what comes and what doesn't and it's adding up as well, though not as much as yours.

I honestly wouldn't even bother communicaating with your ExH if you can help it in re. to the money, even though it's awful to go without.

FWIW, there's a lot of pride in being ablt to not mention it, also. And when lies come, what good has an altercation done, even more?

FWIW again, it's been a really hard lesson for me to adapt to Perv not being my "go to" person, even when it's things that should be cut, dry and obvious.

I also think the financial support could be kind of like dealing with children and coparenting, where it is used as a tool to hurt another person, almost like the idea of control or something. I don't know if that makes sense, it's just an idea for why be nasty.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 8