User Topic: How did you celebrate after final D?
Member # 34195
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

The final hearing on my D is set for June 6th. The magistrate told both L's that he set aside 7 1/2 hrs. and we will not leave until there is a deal done and singed off on. I am of course ecstatic and thinking of ways to celebrate.

So what did you all do to celebrate after final D? I need some ideas.

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 5:50 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]

Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 905 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Midwest
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

When the decree came I didn't feel like celebrating. I remember putting my son to bed and drinking a bottle of wine. Pretty sure I cried and posted on SI.

Sorry for the downer response but even though I thought I was going to be all happy and want to celebrate...that was not my reality.

Hope someone comes along with a happier suggestion!

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I went to Las Vegas with a couple of SI friends.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I had a bachelorette party

My girlfriends made me a sparkly pink sash that said "Back on the Market" and we went to dinner, drinks at one of my favorite bats, and then dancing at a meat market club. It was awesome.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I drank a ton of whiskey, shot pool w/a good lady friend & played my inner theme-music on the jukebox.

I had friends that wanted to throw a party. Not what I wanted at all.

Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

After D from XWH#1, I let him keep everything, took a buyout and ran fast.

After leaving the courthouse, I walked into an empty apartment that was entirely MINE. I seriously sat in the middle of the floor and drank a bottle of wine out of a plastic cup. It was one of the most amazing moments in m life.

Just call me Heart. :)
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

My D coincided with my birthday, so I went to San Antonio with a group of friends to celebrate both.

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13810 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I asked wasband to take a "victory" photo of me holding the final decree on the courthouse steps. He obliged. And then I ran across the street to change my name at the social security office, and then off to the DMV to update my driver's license.

And then I went home, did usual Mom stuff (school pick up, homework, etc.) and made my kids a Valentine's dinner.

Yup - my D was final on Valentine's Day. By choice.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Where I live, you don't find out you're D is final until after the fact. Turns out, when I found out and thought back, it had been just a perfect way to celebrate.

It was gorgeous weather and I spent the day with DGD. We went to lunch, then sat on the patio of a place along the lake drinking wine and people-watching.

DD joined us at DGD's house for a wine, cheese and chocolates party in the evening. I got a fortune cookie with the perfect message for the day: "All good things will now come your way. " when i got home and found out I was D then, it seemed even more perfect!

I called some friends to tell them about after I got home and found out and we went out for a little celebration after the fact.

We're due for another celebration soon for another of my friends. She and I were thinking that signing the final papers would be very difficult and emotional, but after all our WSs had put us through, it was very easy and satisfying.

Good luck.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I saw your victory photo, NIK! That was around the tine I joined here. You didn't leave it up long before it poofed, but it was definitely a look of joy and victory.

I almost forgot-- I still consider my trip to Ireland a celebration of the D. I had always wanted to go there but xpos always told me if I wanted to go there, I would have to do that without him. So I did! And had a much better time that way!! I met a lovely group of women also traveling alone or with other women to do things with and now have 8 new friends!! Perfect!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Don't forget its a funeral for a dead marriage. And since we didn't want to be divorced in the first place, we might be ecstatic, our hearts are broken.

I was happy he was gone, but sad my family was forever torn. Nothing to celebrate for me.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I'll probably be sad, but not for any emotional reasons..

WH has the BEST family health insurance plan out of anyone I know. No premiums, $10 doctor visits, $10 counseling visits, $25 ER visits, diagnostics fully covered, specialists fully covered, 80 cent medications, it's really the best of anyone I've ever talked to..

He keeps delaying the divorce by not providing all his financials, but I'm not complaining all that much (though it's funny when he blames me for delaying it).. C/S checks are coming in, and I'm feeling more detached than ever, so I'll let him pull this crap as long as he wants

But I will be glad to officially be done with that lying, cheating POS.. I'm not much of a wine drinker, but I'm sure a night out with the friends will be in my plans. With a couple of beers and plenty of shots being the drinks of choice. After we designate a DD. Or hire a limo. With a Jacuzzi in it

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 10:54 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I personally wasn't real happy about it all. Once we mediated, I went out for a g.d. drink with XH. <y'all see that? WITH XH! We even ran into my attorney as bar and courthouse on same block. Lawyer asked, "Wanna - WTH are you doing?!" I said, I dunno, getting 'a' drink. And we had two, very odd & sad for the time, but it was meant to be I guess.

Once it was final in court, we both showed up (dressed well and separate). I cried the whole way home; I don't know what he did - surely celebrated with OW in some way.

For me - it wasn't a celebratory occasion. It was sad, sucky and g.d. costly.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 12:45 AM, May 31st (Friday)]

Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:10 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I won't celebrate the end of my M but I will celebrate that I survived this intact and more alive than ever. I'll also formally christen my NB.

Friends, love, laughter and wine.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, May 31st (Friday)

Initially and on the divorce day I was happy to experience freedom. And all the congratulatory messages I got from friends and relatives backed my happiness.
I was happy that I survived a false DV case, a false mental torture, possible jail time, long court battle, possible monetary loss that I had worked hard for, the physical impact on my health, my emotionally torn life, health of my parents due the shocker.

After the dust settled, I mourned at what had happened. I still feel bad for DS. He is a good kid and his school teachers are proud of him. His teacher cried for him that he will be bought up in a broken home.

Yes, I did go out with my friends, had a good time. They too were happy for me, that I was liberated from torture.

exW was visibly sad on divorce day. Her father and BIL were sad D was happening to their family, but, it was they who encouraged the whole thing by not 2X4 their girl.
Sadly exW could not come out of the lies she spread about me. There was no coming back to me after all the false allegations she laid on me.

Hope she is happy now, after EVERYTHING she did.

I checked OBS's FB page and she seemed happy to come out of her 180 and has rejoined her family. She posted some recent pictures of herself with her DS.

So OM got to screw my life and now is back with his family and career. And I am separated from DS. This is life.

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, May 31st (Friday)

My XH did not move out until the day our divorce was final.

It was my IC who suggested having the locks of the house changed and going out to dinner with friends who were helpful during the process - and that's just what I did. It was not really a celebration, but more of a desire not to be in the house alone on my first night.

Good luck.

Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1462 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I had a sort of reverse bachelorette party. I encouraged guests to wear old bridesmaid dresses (guys wore crazy ugly suits/ties). We started the night with dinner at a Tiki/Biker theme bar, which included a cake that said Happy Divorce. The heavily tattoed staff was amused at the party theme and comped my drinks.

Then we went dancing at a goth club. Followed by singing at a piano bar. It was a great night, and I got free drinks EVERYHWERE from other bar patrons when they heard what the party was all about. One o f my best parties ever. And two friends who met that night are married now. (made for a great story at the wedding)

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Helen of Troy
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I felt very indifferent the day the divorce was final. That feeling kind of took me by surprise.
Post divorce was a process nothing special or memorable to mark the occasion. I spent money on myself, de-cluttered and got rid of negative memorabilia, worked out at the gym really hard, wrote in journal, drank more than usual, got to know my authentic self rather than who he wanted me to be or who I thought I was supposed to be. Made my home girly rather than neutral, got rid of all those efforts to be "fair" that he always screamed about but yet was never fair to me only him. Reclaimed my space, my bed, bought a good B.O.B. (no, not ashamed of that).

Posts: 4715 | Registered: Dec 2009
Helen of Troy
Member # 26419
Funny  Posted: 8:30 AM, May 31st (Friday)

Hey Panic just for fun, google image: divorce cake and ring coffin.

Posts: 4715 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I was really hurt. It was probably one of the darkest days of my life and i didn't know what to do or where to go. I try now not to think back on it.

But I do remember a special SI friend who helped me get through it. Calling me as I sat in the parking lot before I stepped into mediation to carve up 21 years of my life in a few short hours. I will forever be in her debt and would still do anything for her if she ever needed something.

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 8:45 AM, May 31st (Friday)]

BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Member # 30528
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, May 31st (Friday)

A friend of mine threw a catered party for himself when his D was final. The buffet centerpiece featured a beautifully decorated "unwedding" cake divided in two halves. On top of one half was a happy, smiling, carefully placed groom figurine and on the second half was a bride figurine shoved head-first into the cake. He loved it!

When my D becomes final (which should be in a couple of months!), I have a bottle of champagne on stand-by that I will share with my dear friends who helped me through the shit-storm. We will raise a glass to survival, resilience and the sisterhood. I will also toast the wonderful people of SI who kept me sane, focused and provided the reality checks I needed to help me through this journey.

BS (me) : 53 Freshly divorced and so very happy. To infinity and beyond!!

Trying to understand the behaviour of some people is like trying to smell the number 9.

Posts: 626 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 21