SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: question about IC
Alyssamd24
Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I have been in IC for two weeks....So far I am finding it to be extremely helpful. Yesterday while I was there my therapist asked a question and when I answered it she showed obvious shock and disapproval. Now I know I haven't done anything positive recently and while I would expect this type of reaction from a regular person I was surprised to see it from a trained professional. Is this something I need to be concerned about?


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 835 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
BaxtersBFF
Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

I would agree that there is a sort of expectation that a C not be biased. Do you feel comfortable sharing more detail?


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
Alyssamd24
Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

More detail of what she asked me and what my response was?


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 835 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
BaxtersBFF
Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Yes. You don't have to. I'm just curious what would illicit such a response. Please don't share if you're not comfortable.

[This message edited by BaxtersBFF at 8:18 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
wincings_sparkle
Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, May 30th (Thursday)

Older therapist have seen and heard it all. A newer therapist, not so much. It is great that you are answering open and honestly.

Her shock, you should ask her about her reaction. She needs to know that you see her reaction and how it effected you. It will be a bridge between the two of you to clear the air. If she can't handle your honesty, you need to know because she may not be experienced enough to handle your therapy.

Good luck.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
Ibrokehisheart
New Member
Member # 37780
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, May 31st (Friday)

I agree that the C should not have a reaction to what you have said. They are their to help you work through what is happening in your life. Ask you C why they had that expression it may give you some insight.If you C makes you uncomfortable please look for another one.

Good Luck.


BH:35
WW:30
Married: 12 years, together for 14
D-DAY: May 14,2012
My D-Day: May 10,2012(the day OM told his W)
2 Children: 9 and 7

Life is an everyday struggle, it is how you choose to react to every situation that will guide your future.


Posts: 15 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Virginia
UnexpectedSong
Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, May 31st (Friday)

The IC should not have expressed shock like that... But she is human. Now is your chance to practice clear communication. Instead of wondering and guessing, ask her.

I always asked my IC everything. If he gave me advice about my H, I'd ask if he and his wife did the same. I've even accused him faking a sympathetic response a couple of times.


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6094 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
Topic Posts: 7