I could do with a bit of a pick me up.
I have lots to be happy about- baby on the way- puppy at home- kids amazing- wife trying really hard and battling her own shit- I'm supporting her and looking after the puppy- got a great new client at work so going to get some cash- it's even a beautiful sunny day...
All would be perfect if I could stop having mind movies- I had them falling asleep last night- had a bad dream- pushed through this morning- trying to get them out my head but here they are fresh as a effing daisy.
I've been thinking about how her face looks when she's drunk and high- even though she hasn't been for ages- that makes me feel anxious inside- then I think of what she did/said/felt with them guys- how she behaved- leading them off- unbuckling- it's really awful and I don't want to think about it. I want to think about how she looked beautiful this morning and how she was all cuddly and sweet last night and probably most importantly how 'with it' she's been for a while now even though it's made her feel so poorly.
Why can't I just think of the nice things?! I know, I know, time.
I feel a bit better after typing it out though- sorry peeps- I'll stop grumbling!!