SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Wayward Side
User Topic: Lunch date out of the blue...
wincings_sparkle
Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)

Wal messaged me at work today and invited me to lunch. It was with his co-workers.

Normally, before, I would have said, "No Thank you" due to the "ack, people I don't know" factor. I would have felt awkward, out of place, unable to be around his friends in that kind of intimate setting.

I would have thought, "He doesn't really want me to go. He's just being nice." or Worse, "He's setting me up to be ignored, hurt, belittled."

Instead, today I asked my boss if I could leave for lunch (Not a normal occurrence as I'm the only nurse on site.) My boss, (awesome lady) told me to make sure I was reachable in case of an emergency and have fun.

I admit that I was a little nervous. I was going though. I was going to lunch to be with my husband.

I don't know if he knew I was nervous. He was wonderful. He Included me in conversation, Held my hand, touched my knee, put his arm around me. Just touching me, even if he wasn't talking to me helped more than he could know. He was solicitous of the time constraint that I was under to return to work... He was just everything that he always is. A very wonderful, thoughtful, witty and engaging individual.

I watched him interact with his co-workers and I watched the care they all share for one another and it warmed my heart. They appreciate him and know how awesome he is. I'm thankful that he has them.

They are the same people that helped Wal as he went through hell after D-day. I didn't ever think that I would sit down to lunch with them and talk about "The Big Bang Theory".

It just amazes me the gifts that God has blessed our family with and I am thankful to God for each and every one of them.

We have come so very far.
Thank you Wal for Lunch today.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
Aubrie
Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)

Love this.

You've worked so hard. It warms my heart to read what can happen when two people kick butt together.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?


Posts: 6127 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
stilllovingher
Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)

He is awesome, isn't he?

you two sound like you are doing so well these days! I'm very happy for both of you. Its inspiring.

T/J:
I know I haven't spoken much to you directly, but its been plenty via WAL. And I'm hijacking your wonderful post here to say thank you, directly.

And congrats on trampling your fears @ lunch!


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2403 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
wincings_sparkle
Member
Member # 27129
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)

Thank you Aubrie.

T/J Stilllovingher: I appreciate your thank you.

Credit goes to God. He led me to the right people to help me and then led me into a place where He could use all that I have been through to help others in a meaningful way. Faith then Repentance to Grace and Restitution through Service.
It is worth all of the work to see the results in the end.

Just saw this:

Is Marriage listed in the DSM yet?
I'm so going to ask Doc.


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder
Me-FWW. BH-wincing_at_light

Posts: 1594 | Registered: Jan 2010
nuance
Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, June 4th (Tuesday)

WAL is awesome :) I'm happy for you guys.


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1198 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
SandAway
Member
Member # 37775
Default  Posted: 5:07 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)

What a wonderful post.

WAL is an amazing man and respected by so many here on SI, its great to know that he is the same in real life.


fWW
BH Tred
M 16yrs
DDay Nov. 2011

Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people


Posts: 432 | Registered: Dec 2012
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)

Good for you for stepping out of your routine/comfort zone and away from your usual response and going for it.

I'm glad you had a nice lunch .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37129 | Registered: Sep 2007
numb&dumb
Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)

This is awesome. It made me smile this AM.

I agree, your H is a great guy. He has helped a lot of guys (myself included) through difficult issues.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2554 | Registered: May 2010
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)

yay! Love this. WAL is pretty awesome and you deserve this, wincings. You've worked so hard. Congrats to you both.


FWW - 41
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5831 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
WalkinOnEggshelz
Member
Member # 29447
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)

I love those times when you can step outside of your comfort zone and have such positive results!

The two of you have certainly worked hard to get to where you are and have been an inspiration for many many couples. You deserve a lovely time out together.

Enjoy!


Me: WS 42
Him: BH 43(HoldingTogether)
M: 18years, together 22
2 Daughters: 13 and 10
D Day: 7/24/2010; TT to 10/17/10
If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.

Posts: 638 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)

Nice post to read. I'm glad you two had a nice lunch.


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciled after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2089 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, June 6th (Thursday)

Just reading this, and everyone saying great things about wal, I just have to remind you that marriage is a team sport, and don't forget to take some credit for yourself as well.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:53 AM, June 6th (Thursday)

Just reading this, and everyone saying great things about wal, I just have to remind you that marriage is a team sport, and don't forget to take some credit for yourself as well.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Topic Posts: 13