New Beginnings
User Topic: Observation about remorsefullness
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, June 8th (Saturday)

I've really come to the conclusion that the older we get that people become less remorseful over time because they are just "set in their ways", so to speak. I'm finding this out dating as well. People can hurt you with words and see nothng wrong with it. Their excuse?..."Well it's just the way I am, so deal with it."

Wow...has the warmth and sincerity of the unremorsefulness of my exWW. Is it because people feel they don't need each other anymore? Or is it because the older we get, the more selfish we become? Maybe it's society (along with all these TV commercials) telling us we don't need someone. Be your own person and it doesn't matter how you treat others as long as YOU are happy.

Persoanlly I've realized I'm not the one with the problem. Some people tell me I'm too sensitive. Well...I've come to the conclusion that it's THEY who aren't sensitive enough.

BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Member # 9596
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, June 8th (Saturday)

I guess I would need to hear examples to understand. Remorselessness is one thing, being blunt is another, and it sounds like the women you have been dating are not very careful with the way they explain themselves.

I do agree that as I have gotten older the less I am willing to put up with stuff that I find annoying or just not interesting... and the fact I do not financially rely on anyone else may make me less tolerant.

I would hope I am not mean in telling someone we are not a good match, as I still do not want to hurt a man's feelings just because we have different tastes in how we want to spend our leisure time or food we like to eat, for example.

"The truth is, everybody is going to hurt you... you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." óBob Marley

Posts: 560 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Caribbean
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, June 8th (Saturday)

"Well it's just the way I am, so deal with it."

I've found, as I've gotten older, that I no longer fall for that excuse. My way of "dealing with it" is to not have that person in my life any more.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Sad in AZ
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, June 8th (Saturday)

If you ask my opinion, I'm going to tell you, and I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I don't go around spewing my philosophies (such as they are ) I'm pretty much a loner too, but that doesn't mean that I treat other people poorly. I don't see that as society's philosophy either. I think you just met a bunch of assholes, Sean...

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20273 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I think it's just an asshole being an asshole. There are a whole lot of those walking around and I appreciate when an asshole makes it clear that they are one so that I can steer clear of them. :lol:

"Be your own person and it doesn't matter how you treat others as long as YOU are happy. "

That is definitely the message and I think it encourages this type of person to be more overt in expressing their character flaws but I do not think it is the cause. We all basically see and hear the same screwed up message but we aren't all acting on it.

I don't know how the asshole/caring-person ratio changes by age group but it's certainly prevalent in young people.

[This message edited by Housefulloflove at 3:43 PM, June 8th (Saturday)]

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Could be the reason why they are single. Look at our WSs, I'm sure they look like great catches until they act like they did with us.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 6