SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Just Found Out
User Topic: How to confront
BraveLady
New Member
Member # 39487
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, June 8th (Saturday)

I found evidence one week ago and am disgusted by H. We have been separated for a few months but I thought we were working on making things work. Now I find that things were going on before he left. He was sneaky. Very sneaky. And the Hurt is unbelievable. Time to confront and get answers. I am assuming this is it for our marriage, I am trying to be strong and prepare for this conversation, but I don't know what to say or how much to divulge. Any advice?

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jun 2013
LonelyHusband
Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I hope this helps you.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=472128


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

1. Divulge no sources. None. Do not let on at all as to how you obtained your evidence.

2. Say very little. Give no specifics. Just say something like "I am aware you have had a girlfriend even before we separated". Then say nothing and wait. Let him start talking. The more you sit and stare at him, the more he will feel the need to fill the emptiness and talk.

3. Give no ultimatums. But keep in mind, he who is most willing to walk away has the most power.

If you two are only separated at this point and you thought you were working on making things work, then in reality he was simply keeping you as a back up plan B.

How long do you want to put your life on hold so he can see if he is happier with someone else?


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
BraveLady
New Member
Member # 39487
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Thanks for tips. I don't want to be plan B, and honestly, I feel no fight left in me. I've been fighting for months and I feel totally defeated.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

(((BraveLady)))

The one most willing to walk away has the most power in the relationship.

Take his plan B option off the table and see what happens.

You can do that one of two ways. Go NC with him or file for divorce.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

((((BraveLady))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24437 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 6