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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: In-law vent
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

My MIL is passive aggressive, needs anger management, and has the emotional maturity of a middle schooler. She can say all the nasty things about everyone else but the moment something is said about her, watch out. She is not physically affectionate...never tells WH or his siblings she loves them, no hugs or kisses. She has never been that way. And God forbid you tell her she is yelling, then she'll yell she isn't yelling! Let's put it this way, all 3 of my kids have had periods of not liking her and not wanting to be near her.

WH got the bright idea to tell his mom about us (a few months ago). And of course he didn't ask me. How is I find out? She posted a bunch of passive aggressive things on Facebook. When I asked him if he told her, he paused an said yes. I asked if he was going to tell me, he said probably not. Grrr...anyway...I could have told him telling her was about as bright of an idea as taking a bath with a plugged in toaster. Actually, that would probably have caused less problems. His reasoning was that he thought that would shock her into being grown up so that he had support. SMH. She just continues her passive aggressive rampage, posting crap like, "if your best isn't good enough for someone maybe they aren't good for you." Stuff like that. He has said that he has told her exactly what he has done but since he admits that he thinks he isn't verbally or emotionally abusive and that it's just my opinion, I doubt if he has actually explained anything. So what has she done since the last very PA posting? Blocked me and WH. Should it be a surprise that she knows about the miscarriage, too and has never expressed any sympathy? I don't want to see her. I don't want to deal with her. Since WH had taken it upon himself to tell her without my input, it is now his job to figure out how to get the kids to and from their house if she is watching them and to find babysitting if necessary (since she was our go to babysitter). She also then went behind his (and my) back and told his dad (that I can understand), his sister, and his brother. God knows who else she has told and put her immature, 12 year old spin on it.

Tomorrow there is a dinner for his great aunt. She received degree number 500 or something like that. I didn't want to go, but then felt I should be there to show support for her. And to keep up appearances for the time being. If you don't hear back from me in the next few days then I've probably been arrested for flipping my freaking lid after she has said something stupid. Don't worry about bail. I need the time away.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 10 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 8, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

I'm getting out of here.


Posts: 1706 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
devistatedmom
Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Don't go TCD. You just know you will be miserable, and I'm sure his NPD mother has already told the whole family how terrible you are. Let him take the kids, and you take some alone time without being arrested.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5361 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Mousse242
Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Why do you care what his toxic family thinks?

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

It's not so much that I care. It's the knowledge that I will have to deal with this forever because of the kids....divorced or not. And it's that rock and a hard place feeling. I should stick up for myself but I know it will do no good. And talking in a grown up way is no good.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 10 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 8, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

I'm getting out of here.


Posts: 1706 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

If you two are going to get a divorce... and you are pretty set on it, for sure that is the route you are taking... I would not go. What would be the point? As for you mother in law, sounds like she is long overdue to be cut out. My ex MIL was much like that. Thank God she did not have FB.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1172 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Topic Posts: 5