It's different everywhere copout. For me, it wasn't court ordered mediation. My XH and I chose to go to a divorce mediator to help us write up the sep agreement. We did that in about 5 visits because he didn't have his brain, it was in the OW's lap. We did the mediation in June/July, signed the papers by mid August, I had the papers in my hand and mortgage in my name by Sept 3.
The next summer I filed the D papers. He was a bit upset I filed with Adultery as the reason, but eventually signed, and I was divorced for Christmas.BS(me) 45, kids DS 17, DD 14.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.