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User Topic: I'm hesitant to post this.
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

*please let me know if this should be in R forum*

My SO and I have been attempting to reconcile for nearly five years now. He recently told me he would leave me if I don't get over my "dysfunction." I still have trust issues surrounding infidelity.

I fell and was wounded (Tuesday). Left eyebrow. I probably should have gone to the hospital. My SO said I wouldn't let him help me. I was unconscious for some time, many hours. He decided to go for a drive. Went to a diner about 100 miles away and brought me back a mini bottle of ketchup.

When he returned, we spoke. He went on for about an hour about how he didn't hit me, which I believe to be true.

I contacted my main people - best friend, sister, and IC. I'll see my IC on Wednesday. My sister went on about 12 step groups, but none of them seem to fit (looked at cosa, coda, slaa, aa, na).

I've been working on some drawings which are in some ways related to difficult events in my past, and in some ways related to the infidelity issues. Not sure if I should continue on or put them aside. Thoughts?

Sorry for the mumbled post. I think my brain was hindered by the fall.

[This message edited by mel88 at 10:18 PM, June 8th (Saturday)]


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

He recently told me he would leave me if I don't get over my "dysfunction." I still have trust issues surrounding infidelity.
I'm sorry, he thinks you are dysfunctional for not trusting him after his infidelity? He's joking, right?

His attitude is not one of remorse.

Have you been checked by a doctor since your fall?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24792 | Registered: Aug 2011
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

It is very important that you go to the hospital now and get evaluated.

NOW.

Go.

Being unconscious for any period of time, ESPECIALLY many hours is SERIOUS.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 829 | Registered: Jun 2012
mainlyinpain
Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I am a little alarmed at your post. There was talk of maybe him having hit you and caused your unconsciousness? Why was this a possibility? Why does he leave you unconscious to drive to a diner 100 miles away? Who does that? To me it sounds like he either left you after injuring you or left to meet someone 100 miles away. Are you looking at twelve step groups for you or him? Were you drinking when you fell? Please go see a doctor. A fall with unconsciousness is serious.
(((me188)))


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 485 | Registered: Apr 2013
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I'm sorry, he thinks you are dysfunctional for not trusting him after his infidelity? He's joking, right?

He thinks that enough time has passed. I just still have the occasional moment of fear. He also can't deal with my past.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Your post is so erratic that I am seriously concerned for you.

Why did you fall?
Why did you become unconscious?
Are you aware that if a person is unconsious for many hours there is a serious, probably life-threatening event that has happened and that person needs immediate medical care?

Let's focus on your health right now and circle back to your relationship problems with your SO at a later time.

But speaking of your SO...

What is the timeline for you falling and/or being unconscious and his drive 100 miles away to a diner. (A diner? Seriously? What could possibly be so special about a diner that one would drive 100 miles???)
Did you fall/pass out and THEN he drove off & left you? OR did he leave and while he was gone you fell/passed out?

These are important questions.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9477 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I realize I'm a bit erratic right now, and I thank you for your concern.

You all are bringing up serious questions. Thank you. I realized that my post would sound odd. It was an odd series of events.

I talked to a doctor, but didn't see one. I think I can see one on Monday.

Why did you fall?
Why did you become unconscious?
Are you aware that if a person is unconsious for many hours there is a serious, probably life-threatening event that has happened and that person needs immediate medical care?

He left after I fell. I fell because I tripped. I became unconscious because I fell quite badly. I wasn't aware that being unconscious for a while could be so damaging. Thank you,


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Fighting2Survive
Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I was unconscious for some time, many hours. He decided to go for a drive. Went to a diner about 100 miles away and brought me back a mini bottle of ketchup.

Just to be clear...

Your husband left in order to have dinner while you lay unconscious at home alone?


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Well, pretty much. Breakfast, though,


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
hobbeskat
Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I am stunned by that. Why didn't he stay with you?

Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
DecadeCentrifuge
New Member
Member # 39406
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Yeah, I'm going to join the "see a medical professional immediately" chorus.


Me: BH - Happily Remarried, but dealing with old stuff

“I'm losing my mind in a bedroom with a ghost
and I'm losing my mind in a bottle while I choke
I stayed years with you, no one knows (but I want them to).”
– Thought Industry


Posts: 44 | Registered: May 2013
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I am stunned by that. Why didn't he stay with you?

He can't deal with my issues. I have some from the past, so I can understand that it's too much for him.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Wait. He left you unconscious. After perhaps hitting you (which you don't know, for sure)?

You were unconscious for many hours??!

When a person falls and loses consciousness, it is reasonable to call 911. If you were unconscious, you could not refuse treatment, as claimed.

It is criminally negligent to head out to a nice dinner 100 miles away.

You're not dysfunctional, you're abused.

There is NO WAY IN HELL I would extend the tiniest bit of trust to this person.

Whether the fall was the result of being struck or due to simply tripping, his response left you in grave danger.

If you have not been examined by a doctor, please see one ASAP. Ask him/her for women's crisis info while you're there---s/he can at least get you started on a safe exit plan. If you're not sure how you were injured, it would be really prudent to remember that the time that is most dangerous for women is the time surrounding when they leave/end relationships.

((((mel))) I know this was hard to post, and the responses will be hard to read, too. But we care.

And this is scary stuff.

[This message edited by solus sto at 11:21 PM, June 8th (Saturday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8522 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Fighting2Survive
Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Sweetie, you really need to see a doctor immediately. Please do not wait until Monday. You need to go to the ER now. Head injuries are emergencies.

That's the immediate crisis to deal with.

The secondary issue is that you do not seem to be in R.

Gently here...

It takes a complete cad to leave his seriously injured wife alone to go have breakfast.

I know that doesn't sound gentle, but that's as softly as I could express that thought. After you have taken care of your medical emergency, please come back here to SI and let us help you work through the next steps to dealing with your emotional health.

((((mel88)))


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
TXwifemom
Member
Member # 37945
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Hum, this is more than a fall. Something is really strange here...... Mods?

Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
TXwifemom
Member
Member # 37945
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Hum, this is more than a fall. Something is really strange here...... Mods?

Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
longjourney
Member
Member # 6418
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

I'm joining the chorus here -- please see a doctor.

As for SO -- he should have gotten you medical attention. When someone you loves gets hurt, that's the appropriate response.

And as for your "dysfunction" -- it isn't one. Not trusting someone who has lied and cheated is appropriate. What he is doing is called "crazy-making behavior". He's trying to make you think you're crazy for not letting it go. It's an old, old technique.

Again -- please let us know how you are doing.


Physical infidelity is the signal, the notice given, that all fidelities are undermined.
- Katherine Anne Porter

Posts: 835 | Registered: Feb 2005
musiclovingmom
Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

First, as everyone else has mentioned, you need to see a doctor immediately. Second, read solus' post. Read it slowly and read it multiple times. Then, get yourself the help you need to be safe.

[This message edited by musiclovingmom at 11:31 PM, June 8th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1047 | Registered: Jan 2013
joeboo
Member
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Add me to the list of those concerned with your well-being. Typically a head injury causing unconsciousness requires a cat scan or 24 hours observation. If you are scared and confused and don't have anyone else to help you (besides your SO), just dial 911 now and they will help you get the medical treatment you need and ensure your safety.

Solus is spot on. No one leaves someone unconscious. Don't worry about his innocence, worry about your health and safety for now.

I wish you the best.


Posts: 1208 | Registered: Feb 2011
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Reading everything carefully. Thank you.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

You were unconscious for many hours??!

About ten.

Hum, this is more than a fall. Something is really strange here...... Mods?

What do you mean?


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

You think you were unconscious for about ten hours?

Honey, there's something terribly wrong with your story. Something has happened to you. Something you don't know about. You may have been poisoned. You may have been given a drug. You may have been hit in the head (does your head hurt anywhere?).

I want you to call your mom, a friend, a neighbor, a lady from church, someone. Someone who will drive you to the ER with no questions asked. If you don't have a someone, then call 911 or just drive yourself right now, right this minute, to the ER. If you need to pee before you go, pee in a bottle, mason jar, or even a baggie you can seal. Whatever, make sure you collect a nice urine sample so the doctors can test it for drugs or poisons.

Something has happened to you, Hon. Let's get you checked out tonight by a doctor at the ER. Don't put this off. The doctor will also want to take a blood sample to check for poisons or drugs.

You need to do this. Don't talk to your SO. Leave him out of this for now. If need be just get up right now & go to the ER in your pajamas.

You need medical attention.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9477 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
sadtoo
Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

Mel,
Did your fall involve alcohol and passing out for 10 hours?


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, June 8th (Saturday)

No, I wasn't drinking or doing drugs.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, June 9th (Sunday)


Mel88, are you still there or did you call 911 or a loved one to take you to emergency?


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm still here. A bit hesitant to call anyone.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
HeartInADustpan
Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Please, please, please call 911, a friend, coworker or neighbor and head for the ER NOW!!!

Head injuries are very dangerous and may not have noticeable symptoms of a more serious condition until it is too late.


Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, June 9th (Sunday)


Why are you hesitant? Please call someone and then post here to let us know you called.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 12:25 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

My God.

Just sit for a second and imagine your husband unconscious on the ground. Would you leave him for a second?

Please go get some help.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6647 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Adding to the chorus... please get to an ER ASAP...


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15382 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Honey, please get to ER ASAP! 10 hrs of being unconcious is a potentially SERIOUS issue!


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

These are the "innocent" reasons why you might experience unexplained unconsciousness. As you read this list, you realize that they are all deadly serious, right? If your neighbor was experiencing one of these things, you'd tell him or her to get to the ER, wouldn't you?

http://research.ncl.ac.uk/nsa/coma.html


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9477 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, June 9th (Sunday)


Mel88, have you called 911 yet?


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
BrighterFuture
Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I don't mean to scare you, but go to the ER NOW!!! I'm in health professional school and we learnt about head injuries. One of them is called EPIDURAL HEMATOMA. It's very life threatening and has similar characteristics as what you've just described(unconsciousness). Don't wait another second. GO NOW YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER.

Hugs and prayers.


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 340 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Kalliopeia
Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 1:11 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I worked in a neurosurgery unit for 2 years.

OP, you really need to call someone. Call 911 or a trusted person to come for you. You need to do it right now.

Poor lady, I hope you will act quickly on your own behalf.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, June 9th (Sunday)


I hope she called 911.


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Thanks for all the concern. I called a good friend who is a doctor. I'm more comfortable with her than the ER.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
MissD
Member
Member # 39377
Default  Posted: 2:21 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Agree with all who have shared their concerns.

Just sit for a second and imagine your husband unconscious on the ground. Would you leave him for a second?

Please go get some help.

A bird flew into my patio door, was unconscious and I drove the damn thing to a vet. That yor WS has no empathy or concern is quite alarming to me and I would think would be alarming to you. Unless you are conditioned to his negligence/abuse.


BW 40's - WH 50's
M 20yrs, T 23yrs
2 children
Multiple EA, OA,& PA's
Thankful for my faith in God to be my strong tower.

Posts: 70 | Registered: May 2013
UnexpectedSong
Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 2:26 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

What did you eat or drink before you fell?

You were unconscious for 10 hours. So it was nighttime when you came to?


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6083 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 2:27 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Are you in an abusive relationship? Has your SO ever hit you?


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Lyonesse
Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 2:31 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Sweetie, you really need to see a doctor immediately. Please do not wait until Monday. You need to go to the ER now. Head injuries are emergencies.

Unless your doctor friend performed a CAT scan, there is no way to know that you are OK. The scan is needed to determine if there's bleeding or swelling in the brain.

Symptoms of a brain injury include:

•Unconsciousness
•Inability to remember the cause of the injury or events that occurred immediately before or up to 24 hours after

The effects can be quite serious, including death.

Please go to the emergency room, or call 911.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1794 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
doggiediva
Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 2:33 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I have extensive experience in neuro trauma..I have to agree with everybody that posted before me..Go get evaluated...HEALTH COMES FIRST....911 The lasting effects of many head injuries can be eliminated or mitigated if treated well and soon enough.....You may feel that you are functioning normally, but in the long run even a mild head injury that is left untreated can wreak havoc with your life.. An unusual amount of irritability and forgetfulness, are two the of the problems that you can be left with for an indefinite amount of time with mild head injuries..If the treatment you get can't eliminate those problems, you can still get help and support with adapting to them.. BTW I agree with TX wife mom...

[This message edited by doggiediva at 2:48 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Nov 2011
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 2:34 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Unless you are conditioned to his negligence/abuse.

Not really, he's a nice guy in general. I've certainly been conditioned to past abuse and negligence. Hence, the therapy.

What did you eat or drink before you fell?

Nothing. I stopped really eating a few days ago. Sorry if that sounds strange.

I must have a head injury since I'm about 30 seconds behind you all! Paying attention to every word you say, even if I don't respond directly.

[This message edited by mel88 at 2:40 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Laura28
Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel

I have been following this. You are not capable of caring for yourself at present.

People keep saying this but I don't think you are hearing.

Honey you have been injured seriously. You are not well. You can't rely on yourself to make the right decision.

You MUST go to an ER and get checked. They will do a scan.

I promise that if you do we will get off your back but we will keep nagging you until you go.

Please go. If not for yourself for us. We are all worried sick and need you to help us stop feeling this way.

Go to the ER now. If you can't get there yourself, call for an ambulance. Tell them what happened. They will come and get you.

BIG HUGS

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2744 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 2:50 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I can understand you not being comfortable with being in a hospital unless it's necessary, but it's more comfortable than wondering if you will be dead or alive tomorrow.

Tell you what - Why not let a professional on the phone decide? Call your local hospital and ask to speak to a doctor or call 911. Ask them if you need emergency treatment. Let a professional decide. It's only a phone call. Does that make sense?

Then please let us know you called as soon as you've talked to them. Thanks.

[This message edited by stillhere09 at 2:52 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Im very worried about you.


What was so special about this diner? Who did he meet?

Honestly, it sounds like he knocked you out somehow(does your head even hurt?), and went to meet an OW.

He left you unconscious for TEN hours?? Where was he for 10 hours? Was he home,and ignoring you as you laid unconscious? Or was he at this "diner" the entire time?

Where is he now?

You need to call someone. You need to get the Hell out of there. You are in danger. This man isn't safe. YOU ARE IN DANGER. Even *if* he didn't knock you out,the fact that he left you unconscious..for TEN hours is reason enough to believe this man doesn't give two shits about you or your safety.

PLEASE call your mom,or a friend,and get out of there right away.

((((mel88))))

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:09 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7276 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I just called and they said I have to come in to the hospital or call 911.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Call 911. Do it NOW.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7276 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 3:17 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

What was so special about this diner? Who did he meet?

He said he just got in the car and wandered. He went on his own.

does your head even hurt?

a little.


Where was he for 10 hours? Was he home,and ignoring you as you laid unconscious? Or was he at this "diner" the entire time?

He left at around midnight and just kept driving.

Where is he now?

In bed.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Thanks for all the support. I'm not going to call ER until tomorrow.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Lyonesse
Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 3:21 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

OK, please call 911 now. I promise we'll all be here when you get back to talk about the rest of this.

Please do this, mel! Every person who has read this is very concerned for you.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1794 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:26 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

You said he went on and on for an hour saying he didn't hit you. Did you accuse him of hitting you? It sounds as if he was trying to convince you. What were you doing when you tripped?

Why did you stop eating a few days ago?

This all happened on Tuesday. How has he been treating you since then?

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:28 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7276 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

((((mel))))

I don't understand why you won't go to ER until tomorrow, the phone person you talked to said to call 911. 911 is for something that's an emergency NOW. That means in the professional's opinion, you have an emergency NOW.

The whole situation there sounds so bizarre - my WH wouldn't leave me unconscious for 10 SECONDS, and we're SEPARATED!!!!! I don't know what's going on there, but it is most definitely NOT a safe place for you.

Please get help. RIGHT NOW.

((((mel))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2541 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Laura28
Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:26 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Hi again honey.

Call 911. Tell them you called the hospital and they said to call 911. Do it please. Do it now.

Just pick up the phone and dial. Tell them you fell, hit your head and were unconscious for 10 hours. Just do it. They will come.

HUGS

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2744 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel honey I hope you went to ER.

First thing you need is your head looked at. Out for 10 hours is serious.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3186 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm glad you called the hospital.

When you're back with us, we'll help with the other stuff.

Thinking of you this morning....(((mel)))

[This message edited by solus sto at 7:39 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8522 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel, something happened and you're reluctant to go to the hospital because you don't want to tell, right? I don't believe that he didn't hurt you. Based on your story....I think that he did. And then he didn't give a shit about what happened to you.

You said that you hadn't been drinking or doing drugs at the time of the fall, but was he?

Put your own health first. Let him suffer the consequences of his actions.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7886 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm gonna go there.

Do you think he left you for ten hours alone unconscious on the floor because when he returned you might not be alive.

You need to get to the hospital pronto.

Pack your bags and leave for your sister's house or a friends.

Divorce if your married or breakup with him.

No one with compassion, empathy, or a good heart will watch anyone including a stranger trip and fall and not render aide to them.

This thing (he is not human) tells you to your face that he can't deal with your issues and left you to basically to die alone on the floor.

He is evil period.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
TXwifemom
Member
Member # 37945
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

There is something very strange about all of this...... Could this be a hoax?

Normal people don't post this sort f thing. And, if you're so confused you don't know to go to the ER, how can you post here?

I think we are going on a snipe hunt, guys......


Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
Laura28
Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

TXwifemom

I had the same thought honey. But... you just never know and it's not worth the risk.

I think we have all learnt that the world is not what we thought it was so who knows?


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2744 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm going to guess this isn't a hoax, because this person has been a member for so long, and has a significant amount of posts. Hope I'm not wrong...

That being said, mel, please listen to everyone and get yourself to a hospital immediately.

I do have a couple of questions though...

1. Do you have a history of blackouts or seizures?

2. Is it normal for you to stop eating?

3. Does your SO physically abuse you?

These are just a few things running through my mind. The gist I get from your posts, talking about how he can't deal with your "issues" from your past, is that you had some major trauma in your past and are possibly suffering from mental illness now, possibly as a result from that trauma. Is this correct?


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1110 | Registered: Jul 2012
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

How are you doing,Mel? I read some of your posts...please don't call your mother. She was/is abusive to you and I don't think she will help you,only make it worse. Can you stay with a friend?

T/j...I don't think this is a hoax. mel has been an SI member for many years. I think her posts don't sound "normal" because her WH is abusing her,and people don't react "normal" in this kind of situation. She sounds scared and confused.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7276 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 9:38 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

TXwifemom,

Your post is out of line.

You will not come on this site and accuse anyone of anything. You had already brought your concerns to a moderator earlier, so you coming out here after the fact and trying to create some mob mentality will only result in you being removed from this site.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

@TXwifemom

I watched two separate 48 Hours or Dateline where both wives knew of their husbands affairs, knew of suspicious behaviors on their husbands part and even told friends and relatives and wrote letters stating that if anything happened my husband did it.

Both stayed with their husbands until they killed them, so it does happen unfortunately.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
UnexpectedSong
Member
Member # 21761
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I stopped really eating a few days ago.

You stopped eating a few days before Tuesday?

What did you drink Tuesday night before you got wounded?


WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker

Posts: 6083 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Ha anyone heard anything? Does someone know where she lives? Can anyone go check on her? Going into spidey sense mode to see if I SEE anything.

[This message edited by selkiescot at 9:54 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
Gr8Lady
Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

As gently as I can, please call a crisis line for assistance in your area.
I too can stop eating when I am distresses, but you need to at minimum drink fluids. Dehydration can cause a fall, confusion and can be serious. I am a small stature woman and dehydrate easily.
I have been in your shoes, for many years. When you can let the story out it becomes real. That is going to help you heal.
Please drink a glass of water for us right now. I care, this forum cares.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

We do show that Mel was as on the site at 10:03 this morning, so that's a good sign.

Hopefully she'll post and give everyone an update


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197058 | Registered: May 2002
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Thanks DS! I've been worried..as have many other members it seems.

((((((Mel))))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7276 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
girlsbird
Member
Member # 30877
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel, we are all incredibly worried about you. Please, Please go to the hospital...


D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed

Posts: 1203 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: arizona
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm here, just kind of scared. And overwhelmed by some of the posts here. I guess it's a little hard to get my head around the fact that I'm not in a normal situation.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

mel, its hard to see your situation from a different perspective when you are the one living it. But we are all very worried about you and can assure you, THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!!!

Your SO's behavior is bizzare, at the very least. Please get yourself to the hospital.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1110 | Registered: Jul 2012
Unagie
Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I just wish you'd go to the ER. Are you scared because you don't want it to be something bad? Or are you scared because your WH contributed to it? The whole him saying it wasn't his fault seems like a strange thing for him to say. I really wish you'd go get checked.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2697 | Registered: Oct 2012
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Please take care of yourself. Can a friend take you the hospital ?

Maybe just cut to the chase and call 911.

Please?

We care about you...be safe.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
k8la
Member
Member # 38408
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel - Please go today. If he did what I think he did, you have a limited time to get a tox screen to prove it.

His behavior is abnormal for a man who loves his wife and cares for her safety.


Posts: 133 | Registered: Feb 2013
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Read this article, mel, please. Don't be Natasha Richardson. You have many of the symptoms and you have actually passed the number of days that Natasha survived, but it can turn in an instant, mel. Doesn't mean you don't have "talk and die" syndrome.

PLEASE GET IMMEDIATE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/03/19/doctor-natasha-richardson-may-have-suffered-talk-and-die-syndrome/


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9514 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
loveisareddress
Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

This is too weird.

You need not only to get medical help, but you need to get out while you can.

It reads like a story seen on Investigation Discovery.

I feel like you are in grave danger here.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
Mrs Panda
Member
Member # 27303
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

What caused the fall?

Were you drugged? The ER can run a tox screen.


Me-41 FWW Him-45BH
M 13years. Reconciled.
DDay#1 Nov 2008 (OM2)
DDay#2 Aug 2009 (Confessed to OM 2001)
"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand." -Kurt Vonnegut

Posts: 1971 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The SouthEast
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I also feel like she is in very grave danger . I think she is trying to tell us something without telling us. I know there are some othere "gifted" people on this forum. What are you getting? Does her husband post in Wayard? Can anybody find him?

[This message edited by selkiescot at 11:19 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel, since you said you're scared, would a women's Safe Harbor Shelter (of some sort) be an appealing idea to you right now? You would be safe, in the company of people who are trained to deal with trauma of all sorts, etc.

If you need help finding a place, I'm sure that many people here would help. To stay anonymous, you could simply post your zip code. SI members could then post recommendations and probably find a place that would come pick you up.
All you would need to do is call the place, say "I'm Mel88 from the SI boards. Can you come get me ASAP at this address ........"

Just post your zip code if you want to make this happen. That's all you need to type. Everything else will be done for you.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
debbysbaby
Member
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

(((Mel)))
Please call 911 and just sneak out and wait for the police to come get you. They can make sure you are safe and get you to a hospital and call a women's crisis hotline for you so that you do not have to return back home after your medical crisis is taken care of.


-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 856 | Registered: Aug 2011
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I don't think she can.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Please seek medical help.

About 5 yrs ago a girl I grew up with next door died from head injuries.

She fell in the shower thought nothing of it and days later her husband comes home from work and finds her dead on the floor.

I not saying this to scare you but it does happen. Head injuries are tricky and can take days to for the damage to show.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Has anyone sent mel a pm? Is she responding?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9514 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Random thoughts
Member
Member # 2959
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

If you can not leave via a 911 call. Say you have to go to the store and from there if you have your cell or have someone at the store call for you.


Those three words are said too much and not enough.
Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.
FWW

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Some where in New Jersey
windowsnotwalls
Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel, the ONLY reason someone would leave someone unconscious on the floor is so that they had an alibi if that person was found.

I agree with the others. This is a serious situation. I don't care what your past issues were. I don't care if you were a serial killer child molestor that stole little old ladie's purses, you didn't deserve to be left for dead. That sounds harsh, but that is exactly what happened!!!!!

I wouldn't leave my worst enemy unconscious lying on the floor. They can die. A dog, a child, everyone knows that. Your WS did too......so he gave himself an alibi 100mi away.

You don't need to worry yourself with major decisions now. Forget worry, forget worrying how this will affect your relationship long-term. You have the rest of your life to work out problems with your WS if you choose to from a safe place. Right now, you need a safe place ASAP. Call 911 and have them send a police car and an ambulance. I'd say get in your car and drive straight to the hospital, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive right now. The police will arrange shelter arrangements for you. Shelters aren't scary cots laying across the floor. They're set up like a house, with women that care, other women in similar situations, sometimes laughing fun children bringing joy. You have a room, a living room, a kitchen to cook. They supply the food, toiletries, all you need. Just gather your driver's license, and important documents you'd want if they're handy. Not required though if you can't grab them easily. Most importantly, get the police there and get out.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

mel if you can respond I sent you a pm please talk to me. If you cant then just Pm me your zip code. I will find someone to help you. Ju st type help and we will find you some. I know something isn't right with you and I am here for you. WE are here for you.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I'm going to guess that all of us are a little overwhelming to you right now. It's only because we all care and we are worried.

If you want someone to come get you or to go to the hospital with you, or whatever, please just let us know. We're here to help you.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1110 | Registered: Jul 2012
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Red  Posted: 11:37 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel knows her options. Everyone's opinions have been clearly stated. Please stop encouraging her to post personal information. She knows she has support here. What she needs to do is see a doctor.Let's all take a breath and back off.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44287 | Registered: Sep 2006
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

yes very worried.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

agreed META agreed


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
forced2moveon
Member
Member # 12014
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Please call 911

Your post is almost identical to what happened to my sister and she had a serious brain injury. I'm not saying this to scare you but to make you aware of how dangerous a brain injury can be. My sister's boyfriend said she slipped in the shower and hit her head. He took off and left her unconsious for 2 days. When we found her she was airlifted to the hospital and had a serious brain bleed that requied surgery and weeks of hospitalization. If she was treated earlier her outcome would have not been so bad. And her boyfriend went to prison. His story didn't add up and he finally admitted to hitting her.

Please seek medical attention asap!


Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Southern California
fallingquickly
Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Hugs Mel.

I just read this. I completely understand you are overwhelmed. People here are wonderful and truly care.

One thing I have learned is that it's really difficult to see your own situation clearly. Things look different from the inside, experiencing it, than from the outside. From the outside is sometimes a bit clearer.

Take everyone's advice and get looked at. If there's no a problem then the medical professional can tell you that and you won't need to worry about it anymore. If there is a problem they can help you. Either way it really is your best move.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Gr8Lady
Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel

I know you are overwhelmed. We got that. Many of us with much more life experience behind us CARE. Do you hear that? We aren't, yelling at you We are viewing from the outside. No lectures just pure concern
Did you drink your water at least. For me ?


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jul 2012
StrongerOne
Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Mel,
Do you feel that you can't leave the house?

Are you afraid of what would happen if someone came to help you?

Please tell us what you can. We want to help you.

So worried about you! We all care so much about you and about keeping you safe. You are worth it, Mel, please let us help you if you are afraid to help yourself.


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 847 | Registered: Sep 2012
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Thanks for all of your opinions and support. I understand that you all care, but I think taking a deep breath (I mean for myself) is a good idea. I will see a doctor.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

((((mel))))

Thanks for posting this, I'm glad that you are taking this important step.

As for the rest - one thing at a time.

((((mel))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2541 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Anytime there is unconsciousness after a fall you need to go to an ER and get checked. You could have a blood clot in your head which might dislodge and cause a stroke or death.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3691 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

And I think the guy you're with is an absolute jerk of an asshat for leaving you unconscious. What I think of him for expecting you to never think about or respond to his infidelity again isn't fit for publication on any forum. Lose this loser as in yesterday. What a freaking prick. Tell him you'll get over his infidelity just as soon as he unfucks the whore.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3691 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
windowsnotwalls
Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

((((Mel))))

Thanks for the update. Glad you're going to get checked out. Keep us posted. How are things today?


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

None of us can tell you what to do. But know we are concerned about you. please eat something, away from the house, if you can. Tea can be dehydrating but it helped me cope. Are you ok to drive. I know when I fainted and whacked my head I saw double for days. I was lucky I have a very hard head or it might possibly be empty but I still saw the doc immediateley. Please get checked.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
mel88
Member
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

Will do. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. I'm going to back out of this thread since I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and overexposed. Again, many thanks.

I'm sorry that some thought this was some kind of hoax. I've been a member here for a long time and don't really create drama. All of the responses have made me realize that I'm in a serious situation, and I'm grateful for your input.

I'm seeking care, both medical and therapeutic.


"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."
-Omar

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 102