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User Topic: I had to ask...
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I have never had a wedding ring or engagement ring. For 10 years I had always wanted h to choose one for me.

For Christmas, 2011, h gave me a beautiful ring. It made me so happy, he had never given me a gift like this. I put much more meaning into it than he did apparently. I saw it as an expression of his love for me. Everytime I looked at it I smiled.

Ever since dday I have been questioning the meaning, he gave it to me only 10 months before he left me and told me he hadn't loved me for years.

Today, I asked him what the meaning of the ring was to him. He said that he felt I had never had a proper ring and deserved one. I was not bought because he loved me, but because at the time he only wanted to love me but didn't.

I gave it back. Told him I would rather wait for the real thing.

It feels so sad. Another thing lost, just add it to the pile.

In a way it feels good to have it gone. Everytime I look at it now it makes me sad, makes me wonder, now I know.

The losses never seem to end.

I guess it is better to know the truth than to wonder.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1345 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

(((cantaccept)))

I promise you, it will get better, and you will be through with the suffering too.


Posts: 6589 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, June 9th (Sunday)

I wonder if he is still just trying to justify his choice.

If I haven't loved you for years then I didn't really betray you.

I don't know if this is true just wondering.

He says he didn't love me for years but now he does?

He and I said "I love you" every day even on dday, before I found out. Was it just habit for him? Was he lying?

I cannot say it unless I mean it.

None of this makes sense to me. If that is how he truly felt how could he live like that?

MC tomorrow, thankfully, it always seems to come just in time.

jjct - will it really get better? Will the new hurts ever stop? It floors me how many seemingly innocent things can now cause so much pain.

This is definitely an experience I could live without.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1345 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

((((cantaccept))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25382 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 4