New Beginnings
User Topic: tired, depressed and can't friggin believe I did it
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

ended things with SO of 3 years today. It was not dramatic, no yelling, no fighting, basically me just saying that I want out. We have a house together so getting out will not be that quick but I want out. Now I am second guessing myself. I feel in my heart that this is the right move for us both but what if it's not. I am so lonely out here without my family and friends but is that a reason to end what has been a pretty decent relationship?


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


So sorry, I know you loved this guy but didn't you discover him cheating? Sorry if I have your story wrong, I haven't read all the posts here lately.
What happened?

I'm sure this is really hard.

BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5857 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


I'm so sorry. I hear you. Some steps aren't easy to take. Sending you strength and big hugs.

Posts: 35856 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25724 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

hang in there (((gp)))

You are strong. You are not in limbo. Second guessing happens. I like to make lists. Somehow seeing the reasons WHY written down is concrete and somehow reassuring.

Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, June 10th (Monday)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 10th (Monday)

Of course you're second-guessing. It's a hard decisions, and a big one. Just remind yourself of why you made that decision.

Fear is the biggest thing that keeps us in a bad relationship. If that is the only thing making you reconsider, then you have made the right decision!

Be strong, gardenparty. You can do this!

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2082 | Registered: Jan 2013
Broken hearted61
Member # 34931
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I agree with what Pass said regarding fear. For me fear can be paralyzingly.

BGF (50) me
WBF (50) him
DD#1 02/23/2012

TT 03/19/2012
Working on R (03/21/2012)
It's over: 5/5/12

Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)


I like what another poster said about making lists. I find that writing things out clarifies the issues in my own mind.

Also, LOVE your username

Hang in there.

BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Are you comfortable with the reasons you ended it? I am sure you thought about it long and hard....and I am not sure what the reasons were....

I know it is easy to second guess yourself. But generally, when I end a relationship, I know I did the right thing. If you feel you did the right thing, then don't let the fear of loneliness or being alone change your mind.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 10