New Beginnings
User Topic: tired, depressed and can't friggin believe I did it
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

ended things with SO of 3 years today. It was not dramatic, no yelling, no fighting, basically me just saying that I want out. We have a house together so getting out will not be that quick but I want out. Now I am second guessing myself. I feel in my heart that this is the right move for us both but what if it's not. I am so lonely out here without my family and friends but is that a reason to end what has been a pretty decent relationship?


Posts: 2606 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


So sorry, I know you loved this guy but didn't you discover him cheating? Sorry if I have your story wrong, I haven't read all the posts here lately.
What happened?

I'm sure this is really hard.

Here's to A New Life of Excellent Health, Financial Abundance, Nature's Beauty, Amazing Art and Personal Creativity, with Love, Beauty and Peace All Around Us.

Posts: 5546 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: United States
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


I'm so sorry. I hear you. Some steps aren't easy to take. Sending you strength and big hugs.

Posts: 30689 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, June 9th (Sunday)


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox

Posts: 22650 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, June 9th (Sunday)

hang in there (((gp)))

You are strong. You are not in limbo. Second guessing happens. I like to make lists. Somehow seeing the reasons WHY written down is concrete and somehow reassuring.

Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5300 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, June 10th (Monday)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15279 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 10th (Monday)

Of course you're second-guessing. It's a hard decisions, and a big one. Just remind yourself of why you made that decision.

Fear is the biggest thing that keeps us in a bad relationship. If that is the only thing making you reconsider, then you have made the right decision!

Be strong, gardenparty. You can do this!

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 10 and 13
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 1353 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Broken hearted61
Member # 34931
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I agree with what Pass said regarding fear. For me fear can be paralyzingly.

BGF (50) me
WBF (50) him
DD#1 02/23/2012

TT 03/19/2012
Working on R (03/21/2012)
It's over: 5/5/12

Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)


I like what another poster said about making lists. I find that writing things out clarifies the issues in my own mind.

Also, LOVE your username

Hang in there.

BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
I tramp a perpetual journey.
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Are you comfortable with the reasons you ended it? I am sure you thought about it long and hard....and I am not sure what the reasons were....

I know it is easy to second guess yourself. But generally, when I end a relationship, I know I did the right thing. If you feel you did the right thing, then don't let the fear of loneliness or being alone change your mind.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14914 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 10