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User Topic: catholic annulment
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Has anyone gone through this as a non-Catholic? I know there is variation between locations, but I would love for peoples' experiences.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1241 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I am catholic and went through an annulment with my first D. It is a detailed process and for me felt like I was fully freed of any connection with my 1st W. I know that she had the chance to respond or reply to any "charges" brought against her but chose not to. XWW would have also had to go through the process except her ex was catholic(she was not) but they married in a Baptist church which voilated her ex's requirement to marry i the catholic church so she didn't have to go through it.

I've been hesitant to start the process now because I am afraid to re-live all that pain but I know it is something I have to do.

Bumping this up hoping you get some responses from non-catholics.

Good Luck.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
newnormal
Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

My Catholic mom married my Lutheran step dad after my dad passed. His x ran around on him repeatedly and he still did not want D. They wanted to marry in a Catholic Church. It took over a year and the church was still putting up barriers because his x was still alive and single. They didn't want to recognize his good values. They ended up getting married in his church but continued the annulment process. They were able to have their marriage blessed another year later. Now keep in mind this is a part of the country that is hard core Catholic and my mom's dad was friends with the Bishop when he was alive back in the 80s. And fyi it only cost a few hundred dollars.

In the Bible belt, my alcoholic Catholic brorher in law wanted to marry his heathen still married wife. For about 2 thousand dollars they were married Catholic right after her divorce was final. Go figure.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

gahurts, not sure about before, but any marriage between any faith (protestant, Jewish, etc) needs to be annulled before you can remarry in the Catholic faith. This is according to many of the Catholic websites and the Decon my friend is going through.

My questions are more centered around how a non catholic goes through this. My friend is doing this all for the sake of his bride to be, but it is costly, taking a long time, and honestly very offensive in their questions. His father was asked about his sex life, his contraceptive use, everything.

My SO is Catholic and he is going down the path to annulment. If we were to ever marry and want our marriage recognized (as he wishes) I will need to get an annulment too. I honestly don't know how I feel about having 3 of my family/friends asked about my very personal life.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1241 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I'm not sure what you are asking. I don't see any questions in your posts, but I'll give my experience.

I'm Catholic and recently went through the annulment process. XH is not Catholic, but since I filled out all of the paperwork and had 5 witnesses from my family/friends and his family (that I asked to participate) answer questions about my relationship with XH and our own personal backgrounds, XH is allowed to re-marry in the Catholic church. XH didn't have to do anything, however he was invited to share his side of the story if he wanted to. He preferred not to "re-live" our relationship history. While it was difficult for me at times to answer the questions, it was a healing process for me to write out my story and think about things a bit differently. I'm glad that it's done.

It didn't cost me anything besides time. I gave a donation to a program that helps fund the council (CSA), but I wasn't asked to give anything for the annulment. I agree the questions are personal, but that is how they make a decision about the marriage. I found the Archdiocese of Baltimore and read the questions they have for the application. It looks pretty cut and dry. It's not as extensive at the one for Detroit. http://www.aod.org/being-catholic/marriage-and-family/separation-and-divorce/annulment-information/ I don't know what questions are asked for the witnesses. I think they were very similar to what I answered in my application. My mom said I could look at her questions/answers, but I haven't yet.

Do you think you will eventually marry your SO? Is that why you're asking about the process? What does your SO say about it?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4149 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

but any marriage between any faith (protestant, Jewish, etc) needs to be annulled before you can remarry in the Catholic faith.

This is true as a covenant can and does exist in any marriage of any faith. The annulment process discerns whether a covenant existed. If it does then the annulment cannot be granted. If it did not exist then the annulment process confirms that and the parties are eligible to marry in the church.

XWW's 1st H was catholic. When we started talkign to the priest about getting M'ed, my annulment had been completed. He said she would need one unless one of a dew circumstances were met. One of those were that her ex was a catholic but they were not M'ed in the church. I guess by definition, if a catholic M's outside of his or her faith and does not have the M blessed then a covenant does not exist. At least that is how is was explained to me in Austin, TX.

And there was no charge for it but a donation was strongly encouraged. I have heard many stories of people paying for an annulment or not. IDK - I don't think it is something you can pay for. THat would be a conflict of interest.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

This thread comes up every few months. From what I gather, it is a lengthy, intrusive and expensive process. The time it would come into play would be if one of the parties wanted to be married in the Catholic church again.

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Forgot to add for street cred I am not Catholic but was married in Catholic church.
I'd like to have an annulment but not willing nor able to use resources to make that happen.

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Dec 2009
million pieces
Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

In Baltimore, it is $750. Baltimore is the largest Catholic archdiocese in the US. I am not Catholic and was raised south of Baltimore, but it seems like everyone here in Baltimore is Catholic.

SO and I have talked about marriage and what we would both want. I am Presbyterian and while I have a strong faith, I don't need to have a Presb wedding. SO was raised a die hard Catholic and went to Catholic school from K-12. I have said in the past that I would have a Catholic wedding because it meant more to him than me.

What is going on right now is that his niece is getting married to a non-Catholic who was previously married. They started the process over a year ago and it isn't near completion. The process is long, costly and when I heard about the questions that were asked of him and his family, I admit I am having second thoughts going through this. SO knows my feelings and doesn't want me to do something that is offensive/embarrassing to me, he would never insist on it. We are meeting w a friend of his who is a deacon so that we can have some questions answered but everything I'm hearing isn't sounding so good to me.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1241 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
Topic Posts: 9