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User Topic: Anyone out there?
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, June 10th (Monday)

5 months post divorce and I am having an emotional breakdown tonight.

Lots of milestones for my children over the past month with events attended by my XH who is trying to "be friends".

I am just tired of being the strong one for my children...

I am tired of hanging onto hope that this sadness and empty feeling will fade.

I am surrounded by friends and yet feel so alone sometimes...

Yep, having a pity party for one.

Sorry folks.


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Well I'm here and I'm pretty sure others are as well. Hugs coming...

((((Macakipa)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Well, this happens. You don't have to be strong. Take a day and just plain fall apart. Have a good ole fashioned pity party. IT IS ALLOWED!

there will be plenty of time to be strong again later.

((hugs))

You are not alone.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5612 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ArkLaMiss
Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Very sorry. You know that tomorrow is a new day, so go ahead and have your party. Sometimes we just need to feel sorry for ourselves and how things turned out.
Sorry you're hurting.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Jun 2007
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Thank you so much FaithFool.

I hate days/nights like this!!


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Thank you all.

I want to get back on that "finding me" track, but just don't have that fight in me tonight.


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Been through plenty of those, know just how you feel.

Can you watch a stupid movie or something?

Old Fawlty Towers on Netflix has been making me laugh lately...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, June 10th (Monday)

((Macakipa))

It is not easy being a single after so many years of being married and having a useless XH doesn't help. BTDT.

It took me along time to be comfortable being alone and not be lonely. I had never lived without a husband or kid in 52 yrs. A major empty nest syndrome.

I do have a couple friends that I can call, sometimes you just need to tell someone about the screwed up day you had or a funny story you heard.

You've been through so many changes since dday and a new normal doesn't happen quickly.
Hugs
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, June 10th (Monday)

I am looking for a distraction on television now.

I know we are in charge of our own happiness, but sometimes the unfairness of what our WSs did to us is just a heavy weight to carry.

I am mourning not sharing in our children's milestones like I had expected to with my loving and faithful husband. That man is long gone....


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, June 10th (Monday)

(((macakipa)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16442 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, June 10th (Monday)

I am mourning not sharing in our children's milestones like I had expected to with my loving and faithful husband. That man is long gone....

I understand ! My DD was married 4 yrs ago and I was still pretty much an emotional mess. Missed the joy of helping her.
Oldest GS will be 13 on Weds. FT hasn't seen him in 5 yrs.
FT's son just had a baby boy. FT is in Thailand waiting the birth of his and Twat's baby so he could care less.

I'm finally enjoying the events but we haven't been together for 5 yrs. It took time to feel comfortable in my NB.
Hugs


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Thank you for understanding gma56

Jrazz, I really like your tagline. I need to work on not seeing my XH as an enemy. Still searching for solid indifference.


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, June 10th (Monday)

I'm sorry mac. When those down feelings start to take me I get through them by digging in the yard. I also like to look at pics of me and my son doing things together. Don't know why it helps, it just does. (uh...I probably also say FTG a few times as well.)

I love 'fawlty towers' too!

((((((mac))))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Indifference will come. In the meantime, it's okay to pause to fall apart a bit before you pick yourself up and get back to business.

Mental health time is priceless. It's okay to indulge in it now and again. Nobody can be strong 24/7. (At least, I know I can't be!)


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15362 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, June 10th (Monday)

tesla, if only it wasn't pitch black outside right now. Digging in the dirt with a flashlight would certainly uncover some earthworms...or a visit from the police

Thank you for your hugs and the laugh I actually just had through tears.

Thank you too wildbananas. It is so good to have your company this evening.

[This message edited by macakipa at 11:41 PM, June 10th (Monday)]


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
inhishands55
Member
Member # 9454
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Keep your chin up macakipa...I like you had pity parties and it took me along time to get over it..I finally came to the conclusion I made my XH into someone he never was...I put him on a pedestal, that he didn't deserve...That the man I fell in love with was dead and gone...I look at him now and wonder what I ever saw in him.
Time is a wonder healer...Give yourself time and do thing YOU enjoy for YOU..((((HUGS to you))))))

Posts: 408 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: The Tarheel State, in the mts.
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, June 10th (Monday)

F T G

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:56 PM, June 10th (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, June 10th (Monday)

FF was that picture for Ft's Twat ???
Not too many Twats on SI.

Love it !
ETA: Maybe not flowery more like stinkweed.

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)

Poofed it in favour of Farty Towels...

Now that we have totally jacked Mac's thread, I'm going to bed.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, June 10th (Monday)

You guys are awesome! I knew this was the right place to come to.

FaithFool


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, June 10th (Monday)

No put up the twat one too !
Guess we did T/J.
Sorry Mac !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Oh alright then...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17165 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)


Thank-you ! Makes me laugh and the wine helps.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

No apology necessary this is what I needed!

Goodnight!


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

G'night Mac !


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

((((((mac)))))))

There are those days and its ok.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 1:06 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Sorry to be late but I am here too. Hope you get some rest and tomorrow is a better day.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I'm waaay late to the party, but just wondering how you're doing, mac??

A new day brings new perspective.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
macakipa
Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Hi Williesmom

I was feeling better this morning. Then I found out the XH is back with his last OW with whom he has had a LTA since fall 2008.

I am so filled with anger and I can't understand why. I thought I was close to feeling indifferent. I think all of the milestones with our children set my emotional roller coaster on full speed.

I hate this. I hate him. I hate feeling hate!


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Indifference will come.

I felt that way when wxh was quickly able to move from one whore to the next.

In my case, he deserves every whore that he finds.

It's taking longer for me because the man that I need isn't the man that I need yet.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

Hey Mack here is some extra support from a fellow ltm, formerly married to a serial cheating scumbag.
There's still room at the party table for the guest of honor (you) so pull up a chair and grab your tiara!


Posts: 4677 | Registered: Dec 2009
stronggirl72
Member
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)

I know exactly how you are feeling. You've gotten a lot of advice (and great laughs) here.

If I were to add anything it would be to say that some days will be worse than others. What works best for me is to not fight, but embrace, the hatred or sadness or whatever emotion that each day brings. Most importantly, you are not alone!

(((macakipa)))


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 154 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 32