Long story short, we are seperated. Been seperated for 10 months now. We were all ready last month to move me back home and than we had a huge blow out and now we are still doing things together but he doesn't know if it is going to work because he doesn't want the fighting or the stress.
We don't fight like we use to at all when he was in A but there are things that need to be worked out and put on the table so we DON'T keep fighting about the same thing over and over.
He wants me to come home, knows I am a wonderful, loving, beautiful woman who loves him to the ends of the earth, but he doesn't want to fight. I told him that couple do fight and it is the lack of communication and than one of use gets fustrated and it blows up.
I feel like I can not get this through his head.
When we start to get comfortable and getting along we are good, when we start to talk about things he pulls away.
He does say he needs to work on himself but how is working on yourself and still going out with people that I feel will allow him to get himself into trouble or make poor choices working on himself. I know that guys love to go to the bar and watch sports. I don't want to take that away from him. But, it is the company he holds I feel that I have a problem with.
Maybe I am not ready either. I am scared of another A and than having to start all over again and go through this crap.
I think I will just watch and see what happens. I mean I have been out of the house for 10 months now so I don't think that would hurt.
I am rambling so I am sorry. I am just trying to get this all out there instead of texting him how I am feeling. I would rather just vent here and maybe talk later after I can put my words out there correctly.
R not R is so hard.
He does know alot of this is about himself and how he reacts to how I feel.
Why is he so scared to have me come home if he loves me so much. I mean we have been to together for 19 yrs. And it use to be very good for the most part.
Ugghh, this is not easy is it? BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"