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User Topic: Update re: Fwh's work issues last Nov
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Content  Posted: 4:46 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

A couple people have PM'd me asking how all of FWH's work drama has been shaking out since several female coworkers went on the attack last November. I finally have two seconds to compose my thoughts.

I'm proud and relieved to say that the promotion and raise that was delayed has just gone through, and EVERY one of the directors who was on the review panel got together and added a merit raise to his original raise.

He's applying for a position in another department for a change of venue, and his current department is trying to come up with a counter to keep him.

We went from a slanderous, unwarranted nightmare. (Believe me when I say he was completely innocent - the accusers even said he "Doesn't work well with women because he doesn't SOCIALIZE with us.") Those woman have received a formal reprimand from HR, which is huge considering they're the ones who went to HR to balk.

The third woman who attacked Crazz for his work style and recommended that he be let go is being demoted and moved to another project after several other men and women have threatened to walk if they still have to work with her. This woman's manager lead the discussion for giving Crazz an additional merit raise.

It went from very chaotic and scary and crazymaking to the best possible outcome.

It it likely still going to take a lot of therapy and meds for me to stop having panic attacks, but I'm working on it.

Thank you all for your support, prayers, mojo, etc. I'm very grateful for the outcome, and Crazz has twice stopped to thank me for supporting him though it and being his anchor when he wanted to freak out. A few years ago it would have never occurred to him to be grateful for my support in anything, so that was a nice surprise.

Sigh.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 5:59 PM, June 13th (Thursday)]


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17546 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

Thanks for the update.

The way it worked out sounds pretty good.

They actually said he didn't work well with them because he didn't socialize with them? Talk about poor boundaries.... Yikes!


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10166 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

Congrats on to you both for standing together through the thick of things. Now enjoy the fruits of that effort.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52325 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

They actually said he didn't work well with them because he didn't socialize with them? Talk about poor boundaries.... Yikes!

Crazz's supervisor sat in on the first (and only) meeting with the first accuser. The HR rep said, "Crazz said that you called him a "Good Boy" for riding his bike at lunchtime. When he sent you an email saying he didn't appreciate that... THAT'S when you took offense??"

The idiot responds, "What, is it a CRIME to call someone a "Good Boy"? At work? I was just having fun. Am I not allowed to talk to people at all, then?!!?"

According to Crazz's supervisor, the HR rep's mouth hung open in shock, and after she composed herself she said, "Um, you can't do that. You can't call men "Good Boy" in the workplace. It's inappropriate. I can't believe I have to explain this to you."

Check and mate.

ETA: This idiot is actually in a very high level, technical position. Multiple degrees. It just goes to show that they come in all flavors.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 5:56 PM, June 13th (Thursday)]


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17546 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

What a wonderful outcome! I'm thrilled for both of you.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20227 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

That's AWESOME!!!
Congrats on a fantastic outcome (though I'm sorry you guys had to go through this at all).


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6458 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

Very happy for both of you Jrazz.

What a GREAT outcome. Enjoy, enjoy.

You two are not only awesome parents to your adorable Disney princess, but you also support each other many levels and that makes such a great marriage.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25605 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

Hooray!!! What a wonderful outcome.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25517 | Registered: Aug 2011
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, June 13th (Thursday)

According to Crazz's supervisor, the HR rep's mouth hung open in shock, and after she composed herself she said, "Um, you can't do that. You can't call men "Good Boy" in the workplace. It's inappropriate. I can't believe I have to explain this to you."

Wow, great outcome for you guys!!!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2870 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, June 14th (Friday)

(((Jrazz))) I'm glad it turned out the way it did


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197957 | Registered: May 2002
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, June 14th (Friday)

Whew! I'm glad the truth came to light.


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2791 | Registered: Feb 2006
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, June 14th (Friday)

Glad it all worked out in the end but more happy that you stuck through it together


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3421 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, June 15th (Saturday)

Oy! I guess then it would have been TOTALLY appropriate for him to have said, "Thanks a lot, Girlie!"

I''m glad that they all crashed and burned. Idiots!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4857 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 13