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User Topic: I hit my head (short vent)
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, June 14th (Friday)

I was putting dishes away this morning. I left the upper cabinet door open, put something away in the one below it, and stood up to smack my forehead on the open door. I have a nice egg BTW. My H's first response in a very sarcastic way, "You shouldn't have hit your head." How hard is it to ask if I'm okay? The first thing out of his mouth is always something snarky, mean, and an attempt to make make feel like an idiot. Ugh. I swear he has no compassion.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 625 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
stilllovinghim
Member
Member # 29971
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, June 14th (Friday)

Dick.

Srsly, hope you're okay.


“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

Posts: 1942 | Registered: Oct 2010
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 2:14 AM, June 14th (Friday)

I'm sorry you got that response. And I thoroughly understand what you're saying because, sadly, I got the same.....

Hope you're feeling better.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2290 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 3:39 AM, June 14th (Friday)

He just came home from running an errand, laughed, and told me my egg is huge. Thanks honey. I really need to hear that. God my head hurts.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 625 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
hardtimesinlife
Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, June 14th (Friday)

Blame the victim even when it's an accident. Sad.


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6088 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, June 14th (Friday)


..first off, I 'absolutely' hate to see my wife in pain!

..BUT...there comes a point that I feel totally frustrated with the complete lack of thought and personal care she fails to put into her actions that result in her 'banging her head or stubbing her toes'..

..taking what I consider to be normal precautions and a required amount of responsibility to protect oneself from injury, I become frustrated with her accidents.

..looking where you are going, turning the f'ing light on, not leaving the cupboard door 'open'.. simply being aware of your surroundings is, to me, obvious and a requirement of the individual, if you want to avoid injury.

..learning from past experiences is an obvious skill one would develop after knocking your skull a few times. If you can't recognize the need to 'be careful'.. then you are doomed to keep repeating your mistakes and I begin to not feel sorry for the calamity you keep repeating.

..how much compassion can one have for the person who repeatedly hurts themself???

..maybe she does it just to get my attention??!!

..if you are consistently careless, well.... how much sympathy should you get??

..maybe i've reached my limit for feeling sorry for her after 46 years of head bumps and toe stubbs.

..i've offered her steel toed shoes and hockey helmuts, but NO!.. she keeps on being consistently careless.

what's a guy to do??

"poor girl gots another bo-bo!"

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4120 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, June 14th (Friday)

Wow smy. I'm wondering where I said this was repetitive behavior of mine and how I am always careless like this. You just projected your life and frustrations on me in an insulting way. Contrary to what you apparently think, I'm usually extremely careful to the point of being a little paranoid (it's part of my OCD). But thank you for trying to make me feel like an incompetent idiot, just like my H failed to do.

[This message edited by frigidfire86 at 9:14 AM, June 14th (Friday)]


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 625 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
hardtimesinlife
Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, June 14th (Friday)

I am confused by smy's post. I don't think frigid banged her head to get sympathy from her h. I doubt she does this repeatedly and, as far as I can see, she isn't smy's spouse. So how does this help? We are talking about a person who banged her head and has an egg with a side of headache. Where does compassion for another human being factor into all of this?


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6088 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
Lost and Betraye
Member
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, June 14th (Friday)

@ smy

SI is supposed to be a safe place for us to come for support,understanding, encouragement, and an occassional gentle 2X4, when needed.

Your response was none of the above. Shame on you.

[This message edited by Lost and Betraye at 9:30 AM, June 14th (Friday)]


Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft


Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, June 14th (Friday)

Ignore SMY's post.
I know exactly how you did it, and why it happened. You were hurrying to get one chore done, and thinking of the next three while probably dealing with a kid and being distracted by what you are going through.

Your H may need a cabinet door to hit him where it counts. Envision this, it will make you feel better, and put some ice on that egg.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8244 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, June 14th (Friday)

I think that was an ill-timed vent of smy.. It certainly wasn't a helpful response, more of a rant at his own situation. I'm guilty of that sometimes too...

Hope you start feeling better soon frigid fire. Sounds like a painful injury, and that was a total dick move on his part.. I always hated the lack of compassion..

Hugs.. And an ice pack..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2111 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
MartlArts
Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, June 14th (Friday)

What TushNurse said! That's exactly what I was thinking when I read your post about the accident. Ouch, I bet you saw stars! Watch for nausea, etc., or any signs of concussion.


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 980 | Registered: Jul 2012
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, June 14th (Friday)


..SHAME ON ME!

ButterflyGirl got it right..

..i WAS venting about my own situation.. not projecting on you at all, and CERTAINLY NOT trying to insult you.

..your post simply reminded me of all the times my W has bonged her head as you did and i felt like giving my perspective on it.

..i did not refer to you as an incompetent idiot nor did i make judgement on your personal level of care taken in your actions.

..i posted to give a different perspective.. my own personal vent on dealing with MY wife.

..i'm sorry if you took it personally.. it was in no way directed at you.

..i did know, however, that my post might ruffle a few feathers because it was from the other perspective!

..as Tushnurse suggests, please ignore SMY's post.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4120 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, June 14th (Friday)

..i did know, however, that my post might ruffle a few feathers because it was from the other perspective!

Ill timed vent or different perspective...either way the lack of compassion pretty much shown through.

I have known my dad for 30+ years...it is a well known running joke that there isn't anything that he hasn't tried to slice his hand off with. We have even given him father's day cards about being mister fix it with bandaids as gifts...all in fun when he's not actually hurt

I will never at any point in time make fun of someone I love in pain - whether they did it to themselves for the 100th time or the first...its not funny - pain is real and its not funny.

Who cares if they dont look before they walk or trip over the same crack in the walk - you should never laugh at them.

And for FF's WS to rub it in a second time - that's horrible - why would you do that to someone you love? wittle them down with snarky mean comments, make them feel like less of a person.

SMH....


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1717 | Registered: Sep 2012
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, June 14th (Friday)

has your H always had a hard time showing empathy? Sounds like he uses sarcasm and ill timed humor when he doesn't know what to say. Just a possibility...but ya, he could of asked if you were ok before he teased you.

Sorry that happened. Hope your goose egg goes down. Sounds like a cold compress is in order, think "Ice Ice Baby" :)


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Razor
Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, June 14th (Friday)

Your H is telling you who he really is with this. Pay attention.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3431 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 16