User Topic: Melancholy
Member # 38619
Frustrated  Posted: 7:02 AM, June 14th (Friday)

I had a really bad night this past Sunday because my fwH admitted that the day after Christmas 2012, while he was in the hospital waiting for surgery and I was in the waiting room worried sick, he was talking to the MOW. He also admitted to talking to her while we, as a family, were getting a Christmas tree, on Christmas Day and the entire time he was recuperating after surgery (I kicked him out on 12/30/12 and contacted a L immediately). His admissions just brought all of the pain back. I cried like it just happened. My fwH was great with my breakdown and whatnot and actually said that he expects more of them because we are digging deeper into the A. Anyway, ever since Sunday I just can't get out of this funk. I'm back to feeling like an unattractive loser. I've been trying the "fake it until I make it" technique of dealing but it hasn't worked. Has anyone else gone through this? What did you do to get out from underneath it?


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 408 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, June 14th (Friday)

We just have to weed through it. It sucks.
Have you asked him to write everything out? Everything, no matter what. It may help to have it all up front. Things still come up, but I found that after I had most of it, all at once, I was better able to handle things that he remembered and told me after. Sometimes, things just pop up, but he promised to tell me, and he does.
But, his most shameful things, I know.

I think if he didn't, we wouldn't have made it this far. This is the longest road we'll ever be on, but we both want it. I hope you are on the same road. It will ease, but only if he gives you what you are asking for and need to heal. He just has to suck it up, realize it and take the risk with you. Total honesty.

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 2