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New Beginnings
User Topic: Who the f*ck am I? Awesome that's who!
Marley76
New Member
Member # 39506
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, June 15th (Saturday)

Love the honesty here at SI. I will share some. For whatever beer induced soul crushed reason I slept with WSO 2 days after dday. I was thinking a. I wanted to have sex b. I wanted to show him that I can be emotionless in my actions too. I think he thought this was a great idea because he has no emotions or a soul for that matter. It was good or whatever -but I won't do it again. It did not make me want him back or spark the all consuming love that was there just days before. The sledgehammer of lies i found out killed the love i had for him like a bridge burned to the ground. That twisted sexual encounter was just pain management.
I'm feeling more confident as the days pass. and chatting up some BIGGER and better prospects. Bottom line...we have needs so let's go be our awesome selves again. As long as we are facing reality, treating ourselves good and not doing anything out of spite..I believe this is okay. Also reading " It's called a breakup because it is broken". It making me really take a look at the absurdity of holding on to a relationship that you are the only member of.


Me: BSO 37yrs old
Him: Old enough to know better.
3 years -raising my 2 daughters and his son
Dday#1 6/7/13 Dday#2 6/9/13
R: not a chance
The further she walked, the stronger her stride became and the louder her broken heart sang. -anonymous.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, June 15th (Saturday)

Bottom line...we have needs so let's go be our awesome selves again. As long as we are facing reality, treating ourselves good and not doing anything out of spite..I believe this is okay. Also reading " It's called a breakup because it is broken". It making me really take a look at the absurdity of holding on to a relationship that you are the only member of.

Just because our Xs didn't think or see how awesome we are doesn't mean much considering their choices.

I do believe we owe ourselves some forgiveness for not seeing them for who they truly are under their facade.

It does take both parties in a relationship to be members. One can't do it alone. There's many of us here that had to learn the hard fact that it was us keeping the glue on the marriage/relationships. Most of us had sex with Wayward soon after dday. We each had our own reasons but the bottom line it made some us feel like shit. I don't ever want to feel like that again with a man. It was good sex but the horrible feelings after wasn't worth it.
Lesson learned.

[This message edited by gma56 at 4:16 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20382 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, June 15th (Saturday)

Hi Marley... I'm glad you're feeling confident but I just wanted to very gently say you're just at the beginning of this road. Your DDay was extremely recent, wasn't it?

There are a lot of ups and downs ahead of you. Speaking from personal experience, it's probably wise to leave the bigger and better prospects alone for the moment. You have a lot to untangle and heal from, no matter how "over" you and XWSO are. Again, speaking from experience... ex-asshat and I were over for about six years before we separated. Because of that, I thought I was ready to date. I soooooo wasn't.

The good news is those prospects will be there for you and your awesome self once you're down the road a bit.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15412 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Marley76
New Member
Member # 39506
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Forgive me if this post sounded full of itself. My over inflated bravado must be a defense mechanism. I am just ready to take off my misery boots and put my party ones on. Life is short and even though this is fresh, it is what it is. He's not crying over it. In fact he is on the vacation right now that we had planned for this week. probably with his OW. Keeping busy and thinking forward is keeping me from feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn't feel sorry for this life God has given me cause that is truly where the awesome comes in <3


Me: BSO 37yrs old
Him: Old enough to know better.
3 years -raising my 2 daughters and his son
Dday#1 6/7/13 Dday#2 6/9/13
R: not a chance
The further she walked, the stronger her stride became and the louder her broken heart sang. -anonymous.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Oh no, I didn't think you sounded full of yourself, Marley... I just know the temptation of rushing full steam ahead into NB without taking the time to heal and know what kind of disasters it can bring.

Any old timers here will vouch that I'm the SI poster child for what NOT to do right after a breakup. I try to help others avoid the same messes.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15412 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 5