User Topic: Discovered old A. Another DDay.
New Member
Member # 39203
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 16th (Sunday)

I've been doing well... until I accidentally discovered yet another affair STBXWH had.,. this A happened a few years ago.,. but it feels like right now, you know?

So, even though he may have erased her from his life by now, I have no clue. But my pain is right now. My anger and hopelessness is right now. He never told me about her.

The feeling of being terrified, of me and my children being abandoned, is quite horrific. Sadly, it's nothing new and today is just another DDay.

Happy father's day.

me: BS, early 30's
him: WS, early 30's
2 young kiddos

Posts: 45 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, June 16th (Sunday)

It doesn't matter if it's old to THEM, it's fresh for US. It's a new trauma in our life and yet another betrayal.

I'm so sorry.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 16th (Sunday)


So sorry.

A good book is The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson.

What she'd describe you're in right now is the shattering stage, and a gentle loving reminder that it does pass. So sorry for your pain today. Big hugs.

"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Getting to Happy
Member # 35200
Angry  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

What a damn Drag!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Running...I'm so sorry.

I remember what it was like dealing with FWS's TT. The knives were always so sharp as they went into my back. Even though I was numb by that time...they still hurt.



BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6579 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
solus sto
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

(((RunningBlind))) I am so sorry. I, too, had belated d-days, and they are agonizing, especially if you've believed yourself to be working toward reconciliation.

ETA: I second the recommendation for the book, The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. It was very helpful not just to me, but also to my very damaged WH.

[This message edited by solus sto at 5:48 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8828 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
New Member
Member # 39203
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Thank you everyone.

I'm so saddened also that all the progress I'd been making in the past few months, was destroyed by something that could have been so easily avoided, if only WH had a shred of backbone and moral character.

I'm also saddened by the idea (truth?) that R may be a foolish hope.

I'll be looking into the book too. Thanks again.

me: BS, early 30's
him: WS, early 30's
2 young kiddos

Posts: 45 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 7