SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: kids bs detector went off
beforeandafter
Member
Member # 37618
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Like many people here I alternate between whether my stbxw was always this monster, or if she just slowly changed. Of course this fathers day I am reminded of the stepson that I have lost. To celebrate, I am doing one of the most disgusting things in the history of parenting: packing his things and cleaning under a bed undisturbed for almost three years lol.

Yesterday I saw the parent of one of his friends, and he was aware of our split. Apparently my stepson was told that the divorce was because I was "mean" to her. When stepson said he had never seen me be mean to her, she told him it was only when he was not around. To be fair I did lots of mean stuff, like tell her to stop cheating lol.

Anyways, stepson then tells his friend that he knows the real reason, that she was unfaithful. The same way she was unfaithful to his father. And she is inventing her own reality in which she is the victim, and everything is justified. But the 12 year old boy already sees through it. I would never have told him, as I am a better man than my stbxww will ever understand. As he knew on his own, trusting his own feelings, now he will just have to sift through why his own mother lies to everyone--himself included--and the impact her infidelities will have on his future relationships terrifies me. Not the most positive fathers day story but sadly its mine. To all the other dads out there--happy fathers day.


Married 6-10-11
DDay 11-17-2012
DDay #2 6-5-13
Divorced 9-23-13

Posts: 123 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Coraline
Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

I'm sorry - for you AND for him. It will get better, and maybe he'll be the kind of person who grows up wanting a different kind of life than what his mother had. Hopefully he doesn't marry someone like her.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Yaknow.....send him a note letting him know you miss him and still love him and are open to a relationship with him.

You will make his day and show him how real men behave.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6582 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

Yaknow.....send him a note letting him know you miss him and still love him and are open to a relationship with him.
You will make his day and show him how real men behave.

This is a really good idea. Would his father allow you to remain in his life somehow?

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, June 16th (Sunday)

^^^ That's a great idea.


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Topic Posts: 5