Topic: fathers day card shopping and our dd
Member # 36164
| Posted: 10:13 PM, June 16th (Sunday)|
Looking for a birthday card or Valentines is hard, has been since dday #1, but fathers day I never expected to trigger. I don't buy him lovey cards anyone, if I buy one it could easily be for a friend. Lately I just let the kids pick one out and I don't get one from myself. I have learned that's just how I feel and that's fine. The kids love it so it works out. So we go to pick out a fathers day card from my kids (my dd was picking it out), she found a really cute one was excited and started to read it, the best she could. I thought it was sounding good, until the end. When it said how much they hoped to be just like daddy when they grow up (it turned out to be a card from a son to their daddy), I triggered so hard, told my daughter no we're not getting that one, and to hurry and pick a different one out. I felt bad but was thrown off with this trigger. There's no way in hell I want our kids to grow up and be just like daddy!!!
I hate these surprise triggers the most!!! And hate it worse that it was with my daughter! I felt bad, she was hurt a little with my reaction and my demand to hurry up and pick another one, she told me "I just want to find the perfect one" it broke my heart! She did find a new card and is very happy with it, but I still feel like a horrible person, to crush her little spirit, even for a few min, by my stupid ass trigger!!!
sorry had to vent and get it off my chest
BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 8.5, DS 6, DS 5.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it
Posts: 714 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Portland
Member # 32554
| Posted: 10:42 PM, June 16th (Sunday)|
That would trigger me, too! I have my kids make cards for Daddy. I don't fork over any money. Win-win-win!
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 9687 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 29126
| Posted: 11:23 PM, June 16th (Sunday)|
This goes both ways --
My wife started her affair on a business trip two days before Fathers' Day. She came home and gave me the most loving card. After D-Day, I put the timeline together, and realized the extent of the wonderful things she was able to say, so soon after her affair began. Anything she has written since is hardly worth the paper it's written on. She tries so hard, but her efforts are empty for me.
If I want recovery, then I must allow for it to actually happen.
Is it possible that I actually do have all the truth now?
me - husband A46
her - wife A42
Married 17 years
D-Day August 2, 2009
3 kids 11, 13, and 15
Posts: 275 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Midwest
|Topic Posts: 3|| |