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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Do I need a L or can I petition the judge? (Long, sorry)
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Angry  Posted: 7:21 AM, June 17th (Monday)

First I will explain that xpos was very controlling our whole M.

Our D decree states that all money is to be divided equally. Some months ago, xpos‘ L came into possession of an amount of money that he is holding (At least he is holding onto my half. I believe xpos has his.) and he states that certain conditions must be met before I can receive my half. Xpos must come to my home and get certain items that he wants. Two things that he named have been given to him since (before I knew about this) to the best of my ability, since he was very vague. One item I am unable to find. They were named in court papers before he came to collect what he wanted from here, so he has a right to all, except the items he did not clearly specify. I have rec’d emails that came after the court-ordered 30-day period naming things he wants from here and I believe he will use the money as extortion to get those things also. If I do find and give him the other item, he will then withhold it until he gets those things. Some I have already gotten rid of because the time was up.

AND I will NEVER allow him back in the house! He has been here while I was away and was here, out of his car, for a “while”. He was seen here by others. What was he doing on my property for that “while”?

He has delayed doing things that he was court-ordered to do and played all kinds of games from day one. Some I posted here about in response to others facing the same things from their WS. He has stated that he will “make this cost [me} as much as [he} can”. In the months following the D, he sued me twice to get the judge to force me to give him money; the judge did not see things his way either time. This cost me quite a bit (and him, but he doesn’t care) to have a L defend me against his accusations of contempt and lying. His L is well known for dragging things out and making them as costly as possible. Sadly, they make a good match.

I told him and both Ls that I will give him the third object when I find it. I have not come across it yet. I have not seen it in years. He has told me in writing that he feels our M was over for 4 or 5 years before he left. To my way of thinking, that was a confession that he was having his As and ONSs that long, which is just how long I suspected him of it. So, to my way of thinking, he had those 4 or 5 years to gather up anything he wanted to take with him, just as he took his porn collection and Viagara on the very first day. To minimize how long he spend here when he was court-ordered to get his things, I gathered up as much as I could and even gave him things he had not asked for but I knew to be his.

My L has not listened to anything I have told him. If he had, HE would have been in possession of the money to divide, as I found the money and obtained the form to request it. I asked him NOT to let xpos’ L to have it; to have xpos come to his office to sign it and for my L to submit for the money to be sent to him. I would not have played any games with it and we both would have gotten it months ago. I do not believe he would be effective in representing me in this.

So, my friends, I am asking if you think it would be possible for me to write a letter to the judge asking him to force xpos and his L to give me my half of the money or do I have to go through a L? I know this is what xpos wants. He wants me to have to sue him for it. That would likely cost about as much as I would get. It’s his game.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 17th (Monday)

Sounds like he could be in contempt of court. It is possible that you could file for this money plus ask the court for xpos to pay for your legal fees on this matter. Hopefully others can be more helpful.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52570 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, June 17th (Monday)


You cannot write a letter to the judge. That's against the rules.

Are you entitled by court order to the money his L is holding? What his L is doing sounds unethical.

You can get a new L if you don't like the current one. Also, if you petition for contempt, you can potentially be awarded legal fees so that he has to pay for your L.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, June 17th (Monday)

Thanks, roughroad. I wasn't sure, but was hoping I could just address this with the judge.

This money was not addressed in the D papers. It was not possible to request it at that time.

I don't want to get another L, but maybe I need to. He went right along with the idea of the exchange. Sent me a letter to that effect.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, June 17th (Monday)

And, yes, his L is basically thought of as doing everything on the edge of ethics but no one seems to do anything about him. Like I said, they are a perfect match.

I have also mused about writing to the Bar about him, but realize they would do nothing.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
sparkysable
Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm pretty sure that he has no right to hold on to your money, and bark out demands like a god damned blackmailer. I also think that you need a new lawyer. You have let him get away with WAY TOO MUCH. I say it's time to hammer him.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
roughroadahead
Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Calling the bar is worth a try. Messing around with money is a faster route to disbarment than committing a felony.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
turned123
Member
Member # 33663
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

just UGH!!!! fingers crossed BH


me BS 48
her WW 45
married 15 years
divorced
3 wonderful but hurt kids

Posts: 334 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: milwaukee
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Thanks everyone. I think I will try to see another L. I know a great female one. I wish I had her from the beginning but she was not available then.

Sparkysable, sadly, you don't even know some of the worst things he has done. We discussed those things at IC yesterday and I'm still feeling really bad. She wants to see me again sooner because of the way we left it and she knows how dark I'm feeling.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Roughroad, you have a PM.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Topic Posts: 10