User Topic: Revelation
Member # 38537
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, June 17th (Monday)

Dday number two happened about a week and a half ago, I discovered an email account WH had set-up. He'd sent some emails to OW fishing for a response that never came.

I told him to pack his bag and go, which he hasn't, but he has finally showed remorse. He's answered the majority of the questions I've asked and it came out yesterday that he felt like things changed this time. He said the time before "wasn't his fault because OW pursued him, but this time it was all his fault". In some ways this gave me so much insight into his thinking, but auurgh! It pisses me off that he takes so little responsibility for his actions.

He's started reading Not Just Friends, which is helping.

I don't know whether to cry ir scream.

Me - 40
WH - 41
Dday - Oct 7, 2012
Dday 2 - June 4, 2013
Married - 7 years
2 daughters, 9 years old and 1 month old

Posts: 145 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, June 17th (Monday)

Coming from someone who has multiple D-days I know how you feel.

I hope that the fog has finally been lifted and he will do the much needed hard work to help you and your marriage heal.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, June 17th (Monday)

Sorry, but both times were his fault. Unless he owns this, I'd be wary of R. If he can give himself an out for betraying you and blameshifting, then he's not acquired the toolset to prevent it from happening again.

Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4003 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, June 17th (Monday)

So she didn't respond, he got caught and suddenly sees the light...

I am sorry, but I would be very cautious here.

Sounds more like he is playing nice so he doesn't have to pack his bags.

IMO you NEVER give an ultimatum/threat you are not going to enforce.
I would be watching closely...

I understand the pain,it sucks but you are better than someone's back-up plan.

(((hugs))) I hope he is being honest.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 4