User Topic: oh god..
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, June 17th (Monday)

When does indifference come? While I have been fine with NC, except for DS4's upcoming IEP meeting, I am not yet detached enough not to have the surprise encounter throw me for a loop.

Driving home today, I see Waffle and MOW, driving in her car towards the restaurant area of our town. It is one thing to know that MOW exists, duh. It is something else entirely to randomly run into them.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, June 17th (Monday)

It's hard seeing the WS with the OP !!!!!!
It made me sick to my stomach the first few times. When I figured out FT was NPD, I silently thanked her for diverting his attention from me. He was full of hate and revenge.

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, June 17th (Monday)

It occurs to me that I have no idea if she's living at the former marital home, even if part time. Got email into L to see what, if anything, can be done about that. I thought of that because it was Waffle driving her car.

Who is this fucking pod person??

And, for some reason, I have this crazy anger, almost to the point of rage, at the thought of her having a toothbrush in the toothbrush holder we registered for.

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 6:55 PM, June 17th (Monday)]

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, June 17th (Monday)

Its weird, but what worked for me while I was working on "not caring", was to tell myself I was going to see XWH and OW. I had to get into a certain mindset, and on the occasions when I did see them out in public, I wasn't the one startled and thrown off- they were.

Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.

Posts: 6535 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, June 17th (Monday)

I'm pretty lucky as I haven't seen them together. I've been expecting to for some time.

I'm also pretty lucky because I know how ridiculous they would look together. She dresses like a starving uni student even though she never went to uni. He dresses like a MLC loser trying to recapture his youth.

Mutual friends have commented on how ridiculous they look. My servo (gas station) guy asked if he had other children as he thought she was his teen daughter

My view is he would look ridiculous in that getup with or without her. She just completes the picture of hilarity.

He very kindly took me to a wedding with her when I was pregnant with DD2. Her then BF dropped her off and I wondered why he didn't stop to say hello - I now realise he most likely knew they were having an affair. Anywhoo - we had a good laugh at how ridiculous THEY looked together. He was quite a weird looking unwashed kind of hobo guy.

Ironic how hard he laughed - her old BF is better looking and better suited to her than the sad clown is. Irony is indeed lost on the stupid.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 32306
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, June 17th (Monday)

I know how ridiculous they would look together

This is ex and ow! Two people in their 40's, both of whom, by nature look older than their age, dressing like 20-somethings! ow puts low ponytails in her hair like she's some cutesy thing and ex spends $150 on jeans. Combine with his gray hair (and now gray beard) and her fugly "rode hard"'s comical!

I told ex that I may have been able to understand his A better if he at least would have picked a pretty woman. She is an insult to me!

However, all that still sucks to see them together!

Me BW: 46
Him WH: 48
DD: 5-20-11
M: 14 yrs. Together 15 yrs.
Children: (4) ages 14 and younger.
Divorced: 5/24/13
**my apologies for the typos... I login off my tablet and the "smart" type isn't always so smart.

Posts: 266 | Registered: May 2011 | From: movingfast
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, June 17th (Monday)

They probably look ridiculous together. She's 10 years older than me and 7 years older than him. I've been IDed for alcohol in a restaurant in the last week. When I started law school at 30, the other students assumed I was 22 like them. On the other hand, MOW looks like she could be a friend of my mother's. Most of her hideous face was obscured with overlarge sunglasses this time. Waffle (who it seems only pays lip service to waffling) was formerly athletic, but is gaining weight. He has also started to dress like a middle aged man. Maybe to match MOW?

I'm not sure that she has custody of her kids. Wonder if there is a reason, or if she is simply just as selfish as he is? Or maybe they have 50/50, who knows.

I hate each little reminder that he is well past the point of no return. I have no idea who I married and had children with. It's a little disorientating.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, June 17th (Monday)

I'm so sorry. I'm waiting for indifference too and wish it would come quickly. I have yet to see OW at all, but I know she is now living with STBX. I'm out of state with the kids for the summer visiting family so I don't have to worry about it right now. I'm dreading August when I have to go home and seeing them together will be inevitable.

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 920 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

It's difficult seeing them. I'm still not quite at the point of indifference.

I see STBX and OW most weekends at my son's sports matches playing happy families. It makes me feel better when I see how hideously old and gray the ex is looking and how they're both carrying quite a bit of extra weight

Stay strong!

Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I can't even imagine how awful it must be seeing your X w/OP.

I've fortunately never seen them together, just pictures.

I make it a point to never go anywhere where I think I may see him/them/it. As a j/i/c, I have a friend who knows to bail me out if need be.

Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
New Member
Member # 39586
Frustrated  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I live in a very small town, and my ex is a courier, and he takes his whore to work with him 4-5 days a week. I still get the shakes and my heart races.
I avoid walmart because she works there, but all my friends go, just to make her days extra special.
I've noticed that it is getting better. Although it's only been over a month.
Do you too, look forward to the day where you can look at your ex, without wanting to rip off their head and piss down the hole?
The anger is exhausting, but he doesn't deserve my ambivalence, not just yet. Is that how you feel?

There is no stronger message, then dirt in your face.

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am finally able to let myself think he is dead.

It's like two people in my who loved me before but is no longer on the earth and this one who resembles him but is older looking, larger, more bald...if "he" comes, like to collect DD for visits, I pretend it's one of her friends. If he mows the lawn, I pretend it's a handyman or the neighbors. It may sound delusional, but it helps.

I'm looking for indifference, too, and right now I'm in a place full of disgust, where he seems very... dirty in my mind.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 12