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Reconciliation
User Topic: Proofing
huRtZ413
Member
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

What are you doing to affair proof your marriage now ? What has changed on your part? And WS.



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

The only actions you control are your own. You build and maintain strong boundaries on your end,and WH needs to do the same.


I don't think you can "affair proof" your marriage..because you can not control what the other person does.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7489 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
refuz2bavictim
Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Confused beat me to it!

I am working to make sure *I* am a good partner. I can affair proof myself but not my M as I have no control over what he does.

I do however keep myself aware of what he is doing to work on himself, so that I can have some sense of what to expect from him in this M.


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
KeepCalm_CarryOn
Member
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)

What confused said!

I can only control my actions and reactions.

We both continue to work on ourselves and what we need to do to be good partners but I don't think even this "affair proofs" our marriage. It just means, hopefully, if issues do come up, we have better coping mechanisms!


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 28
Him- fWh, 34
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August


Posts: 2024 | Registered: Sep 2011
Topic Posts: 4