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User Topic: my beloved eva
LonelyHusband
Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

This is Eva

When I was at my lowest, nearly two years ago, she was the only thing in my life that gave me any relief from the pain. When I was considering suicide, she sat beside me and shouted at me. So often I would wake up and see her face, snuggled in between OktoberMest and I. So often when we were fighting the tension would broken by the sound of a burmese miaow. In so many ways, that kitten helped keep us together.

Tonight I held her broken head in my hands. I picked her up from the ground where the car must have hit her, and OktoberMest and I buried her with our hands in a field under a tree. She would have been two years of age tomorrow.

It's just a cat. Yeah. Right. I miss her so much. I am so upset. So upset. My poor, poor kitten.

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 4:36 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
swizzlestick03
Member
Member # 30102
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself LH.

((LH, OkM & Eva))


Me: BW-32
Him: WS-31
D-Day #1: 16 August 2010
D-Day #2: 16 January 2011
One small kiddo.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Nov 2010
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

It's just a cat.

no, she is a family member. Please honor her and yourself by grieving for her as such.

I'm so sorry LH and OM...hugs to you both!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4469 | Registered: Dec 2010
scarredforever
Member
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful kitty.


"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"


Posts: 1055 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, I am so sorry. She isn't just a cat, she's your touchstone. And she's a beauty. Perhaps she will be able to watch over you from afar. ((peace))


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6285 | Registered: Jan 2011
1devastedmom
Member
Member # 38399
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry. I'm in tears just reading your post. She is not just a cat she was a member of your family. Our family dog died 9 years ago and to this day we still cry when we think of him.


Me BS: 42
WH: 44
DDay- April 17, 2013
Married 22 years
3 children: 18, 15 & 9
Reconcilling

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: 1devastedmom
Afraid2LoveAgain
Member
Member # 11185
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry. She was beautiful inside and out.

(((Lonely Husband and OctoberMest)))


BW -- 57
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

Posts: 411 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: NC
Chefj9
Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

no, she is a family member. Please honor her and yourself by grieving for her as such.

I have tears for your loss
((((LovelyHusband)))


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 457 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
Lucky
Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so very very sorry. I love my fur babies with the same intensity as I love my children & grand children.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
GabyBaby
Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

LH,
She's a beautiful girl. As one fur-parent to another, there is no such thing as "she's just a cat".
Our pets are family.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

((( LH and family )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6051 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Our cat was our first pet together. It was LH's first cat to add to our little family. I had a damn good try and blowing that family unit up; but Eva helped LH everyday at the start.

I know the bond we had was great also. When LH was in the US at the start of this year, Eva and I really bonded. She took care of me and I of her; and we could both Facetime LH together - and usually did.

I loved her so very much. I always will. She is irreplaceable. Today is a very sad day here, in a quiet village; made all the more quiet by the lack of Eva's tinking bell and her very noisy and demanding burmese MIAOW.

RIP Eva. Chase all the bunnies, birds and slow worms you want. We'll love you forever. 2 years was too short. Life is so damn unfair.

Brokenhearted and hoping this brings LH and I closer still.

[This message edited by OktoberMest at 4:50 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

((((LH, OktoberMest,Eva))))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9403 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

They are our furbabies that's why it hurts to lose them . They provide us with unconditional love.

I'm sorry for the loss of your kitty. Too young to be taken.

(((Lonely Husband and OctoberMest)))


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry for your loss...I understand the huge void of lossing a beloved pet can leave.

Please know we're thinking of you and your wife and sending you loving thoughts.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196284 | Registered: May 2002
Sal1995
Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

It's just a cat.

She was more than that. Many pets are just pets, but a few become something special. I adopted my cat Rosemary when I was 5. I put out a bowl of milk for her, and she decided that day that she had found her home. She snuggled with me frequently at night throughout my childhood. She was killed by a car when I was 21, almost 22 and away at college. That was 22 years ago and I still miss her sometimes.

Sorry for your loss, LH and OM. Many of us here can relate.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciling


Posts: 1319 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
cdnmommy
Member
Member # 30182
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


Me: BW
DDay: Oct 2010 + 6 weeks false R
2.5 (+?) year A with married coworker/my "friend"
1 great kid.
Reconciling and healing

Posts: 1725 | Registered: Nov 2010
WhatsRight
Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I, too, am so sorry for your loss. Just a few weeks ago my dog died. For well over 7 years I had told her and her alone EVERYTHING.

I know how they can mean the world to you. I am sooooo thrilled that you two have each other for your grieving.

I'm so very sorry.


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1850 | Registered: Apr 2012
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry, I feel your pain! Honestly, if it was not for my cat I question how well I would have survived. I remember laying in bed crying while my cat was purring like crazy and frantically butting her head against mine. When I finally got the nerve to leave my bastard ex she was all I took, and all I had.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1172 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
anv5
Member
Member # 39217
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

((Hugs))
So sorry for your loss...I agree though, not "just a cat" Pets for some of us are much more than "just" no matter what animal it is.


BS(me)30
WH 29
1 Child
Married 11 yrs
D-Day: 4/9/13 he cheated in '08 & now + trickle truth & tons of lies 6/27 Found more, swears I really do have the whole truth now.
2/2/14 found out more...it seems the TT never ends.
Trying to R

Posts: 71 | Registered: May 2013
keeponkeepingon
Member
Member # 32935
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

((Lonely and Oktober))

I understand the pain of losing a dear family member. I am so sorry for your loss.

I also understand the healing power of a pet. My cats and dog have given me so much love, unconditional love. They helped me when I could barely help myself during the dark days after DDay and during our separation.


"I know you and you know me and I know you can see. So help me get my way back to you"

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: On the corner of Grey St at the end of the world
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

The joy of pets is that we can enjoy many of them in our lifetime. The sadness is their lifetimes are usually so much shorter than ours. Grieve on your own time, in your own way and honor her role in your life with memories of her love for you. (((((Hugs)))))


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1086 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
AgainandAgain
Member
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am sitting here bawling right now. My heart breaks for all 3 of you. The pain is gut wrenching when you lose a fur baby.

I wish there were words to give you that would ease your pain but I know that there are none.

I know the agony you are going through and pray for you. I felt the loss and was introduced to the Rainbow Bridge. I took a lot of comfort in that. If you haven't heard of it, you might want to check it out.

Keeping you in my prayers!

[This message edited by AgainandAgain at 5:38 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so very sorry. I've often thought I needed a dog-child to be my companion through all of this. Aren't our fur-kids so much more understanding than people?

Hugs to you.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Jospehine85
Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry for you and Ocktobermest.

Some pets are just animals. Others are family members.

Then there are those very, very few who actually become a part of our soul. It is so painful to lose them.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
Kierst13
Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so very sorry about your precious Eva. They are never 'just pets'.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

{{{{{LH & OKM}}}}}

I'm so sorry.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7680 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
brokensunflower
Member
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

sorry for your pet hun


me 32
him 32
5 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R

my give a damn is busted


Posts: 210 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

What a gorgeous animal! Reading this and sensing your pain I almost vomited.


Hugs all around!


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 344 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
looking forward
Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

In so many ways, that kitten helped keep us together.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Our pets are so much more than animals. We need them in our lives and they reciprocate with non-judgemental love.
Our three cats (two of whom are 10 years of age) have certainly helped us navigate this situation. I don't know what I would do without my Smudge, and I hope that time will still be far off into the future.
Our son just lost one of his cats the same way you lost Eva. He is heartbroken, too.

(((hugs)))


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2833 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

She is beautiful and her life was cut way way way too early. I am so sorry for you loss. Eva was not "just a cat" ~ she will always be a part of your family. Rest In Peace Eva.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Mediation date: 7/10/14 and 7/22/14
Final final court date: Oct 2014

Posts: 2112 | Registered: Oct 2012
welcome14
Member
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry. My evil old cat kept me alive through the betrayal also. Maybe you will smile a little at this picture- (think satan in a fur coat) he is a pure black cat, with one normal eye and one bulging dead ugly gray one. His head is always slightly crooked becase of neurosurgery to remove a tumor. He also has an open gaping ear canal where they had to go in for the surgery. Pretty, no? You would think he would work on his personality to make up for his looks, but no. Sometimes when you pet him he bites you. Sometimes when you walk by him he claws you. Dont even get me started on the "roid rage he had when he was on steroids due to the tumor (got the scars to prove it). But when XWF left, he sat on my lap everynight for six straight weeks and just looked into my eyes purring. Has never done it before or since. Odd, that. I know that he knew. And after a couple of weeks XWF had to come back to get some things (that cat had always liked him) he tried to pet him and my evil cat bit the crap out of him. Blood and everything. He got tuna for dinner that night....and wouldn't even eat it. No cat skills at all. So sorry again for your loss.. your cat was very beautiful.


Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.


Posts: 1158 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
RidingHealingRd
Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

No, no, no she was not just a cat...she was a very important member of your family, a beautiful member of your family. My heart hurts for both you and OctoberMest.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope all the happy memories that you shared with Eva will comfort you.

A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

by Kim Crenshaw Duckworth


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 60 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2083 | Registered: Nov 2011
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh I'm so sorry, crying right along with you guys.

I had two beautiful Siamese and was blessed with many years of their companionship, cannot imagine losing them so soon.

They are very very special creatures, the Orientals.

I hope you can find a new companion to fill the void.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17111 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Crying for you here.
I'm so sorry you've lost your beloved kitty.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, (((LH))) I am so, so sorry. I sit here with my Chloe next to me, and Phineas not far away....and I so understand the comfort Eva brought you.

I am unspeakably sorry for your pain.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8307 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

My condolences on the loss of your furbaby. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4827 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
isadora
Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

((LH & OM))

I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved pet.


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 10 yrs
4 children: DDs 6&4; DSs 2& baby
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4499 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)


..

..feeling your pain and your deep loss.

..you honour her life with your love and tears.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
mysticpenguin
Member
Member # 38839
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm on my phone so will be brief --

So sorry for your loss. She is beautiful. <3

[This message edited by mysticpenguin at 11:51 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]


Betrayed

Posts: 306 | Registered: Mar 2013
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

((((LH, OktoberMest,Eva))))

Posts: 11378 | Registered: Mar 2008
jb3199
Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry, friend.

Bullshit on the tough-guy masculine front that many expect of us. She is family, and the pain is deep when something tragic like this happens. *wipes away tears*

At least you and OKM are together to support one another.

So, so sorry.

[This message edited by jb3199 at 8:15 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


BH-46
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 1979 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, I am so sorry. Your Eva wasn't "just a kitty". Pets are family. I'm sorry for your loss.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 426 | Registered: Jan 2013
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

OMG! I'm so sorry to hear this. They are not just cats or dogs or any other pet. They are loved and become a member of the family just as any person would. They are loved and know how to give love in return.

I'm sorry for your loss. I have two special kitties of my own and I don't know what I would do without them.

(((HUGS)))

She's beautiful.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 8:18 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5822 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

What a beatiful precious kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry, LH! She was beautiful. I'm glad that she was such a comfort to you. Take care of yourself.

(((LH and family)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
sailorgirl
Member
Member # 38162
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Eva was so beautiful. I am so sorry.

My husband's love for his dog was part of what made me fall in love with him. 13 years after she died, he still cries when we talk about her.


Married 14 years, three amazing kids
H had 17 month EA/PA
D-day 1/5/13
Reconcilling

Posts: 787 | Registered: Jan 2013
tired girl
Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so very sorry LH.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4478 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
uncertainone
Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh no! I'm so sorry. Had to put a loved member of our family down late last year. Hardest thing. Completely lost it. Still so hard. They're family and there are people I don't miss as much as my beloved golden.

I know he's still here. I seriously do. I can sometimes hear him. She remains with you both. She always will.


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
stilllovingher
Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2401 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh no! I am so terribly sorry LH. She was so beautiful and I am sure she had a happy life as part of your family.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6518 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry for your loss brother.

as always, strength.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2535 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
256shute
New Member
Member # 39308
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I am so sorry about Eva. Pets bring so much joy to any circumstances. Eva was beautiful and I'm sure she has always been there for you. Please take care of yourself.

Posts: 22 | Registered: May 2013 | From: USA
twodoves
Member
Member # 39181
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry about your kitten, that's awful. :(


Me - BS
Him - WS (N3v3rG1v1ngUp)
Together 7 years, married for 2
He was cheating for 5 years
5 OW
D-days: 4/23/13, 4/27/13, 5/10/13
1 toddler, baby girl on the way in December

Posts: 160 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Illinois
forksintheroad
Member
Member # 32362
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

RIP sweet angel


35 BW(me); 35 FWH(him)
2DD's 6 yrs, 3 yrs; 2dogs/3cats
Together 16 yrs, married 8 yrs
DDay May 29, 2011; EA/PA Nov 05-March 06; working on R
People may not remember what you did or said but they will always remember how you made them feel

Posts: 310 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Massachusetts
really trying
Member
Member # 5311
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

My hearts breaking for you


Me: late 40's
XH: A parasite and that might be a compliment
My S-23, Our D-15
Married 5/93 D-Day: 11/18/03
Divorced 5/19/08

The future's so bright - I got to wear shades

Plant Seeds of Kindness


Posts: 10389 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: California
BeautifulEmpty
Member
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry...
My dog Ziggy is super smart and gets into lots of trouble because of it. He's older now so not as bad as when he was little but man! STUBBORN!
There was a long (2-3 years) of time I was absolutely lost in depression and illness. I was bed ridden, drugged out of my mind and needed to be hospitalized but my husband was more interested in his new or next hookup to take care of me or at least, find help.
No one had my back, my kids didnt understand and had rejected me because I couldn't 'mom' them and their dads new wife was telling them I was faking it. I was lost.
My Ziggy was the only one who was there. That little dog sat by my side in the dark for at least TWO YEARS...only leaving to take care of his needs.
How impossibly boring and awful that must have been for him but he did it.
I am so deeply sorry over the loss of your little girl but I am so glad she was there for you when you needed her most.
These fur babies may be annoying, stinky, loud thieves of everything good on that plate you left slightly unattended but they are also blessing, comfort, joy and reminders that things can get better...not to mention, how we should treat each other.
(((Hugs)))


Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 237 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
scaredyKat
Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, honey, I am right their with you as I nurse my own sick Luna. She, too, has been my constant, loyal, loving beautiful girl and has kept me from feeling that no one loved me...

Our pets own a part of our soul and they live with us forever, but the loss of them is heart-wrenching. Please know that we are with you and holding you in the *LIGHT*


Me-BS-60-Can't tell you how painful it was to change this number!
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3256 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
OK now
Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

So sorry LH. Eva was a living symbol of your recovery from another painful tragedy.

Posts: 1689 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

So very sorry. I am a fur-mommy too and it is so hard to think abou any harm coming to them. Don't be ashamed of your tears for her.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1226 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry. Losing a beloved pet is so hard.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 808 | Registered: Mar 2013
NoTriangles
Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh LH,

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I am 1000% certain that I would not have survived the past 18 months without my pets. On my darkest days, they were my only reasons to smile.

I am so sorry Eva was taken from you so soon and so senselessly.

I know how painful it is and can only pray that your grief will pass gently on its way...


Me: Forever Changed
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
Foolme1
Member
Member # 38606
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

She isn't just a cat. She was family. I refer to my cat as my son. I would be lost if I lost him. I'm so sorry for your loss...


BGF-me (31)-devoted girlfriend
xBF-him (30)-manipulative cheater
One beautiful dd. 14 years together (off and on). Married for 8 years, divorced, then "dating" for 3 more years.

Posts: 115 | Registered: Mar 2013
Grace and Flowers
Member
Member # 34431
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Oh, I'm so, so sorry for your loss...and in such a heartbreaking way. All of us with special pets...the ones that really "understood" us, understand.


I'm Happy, not Sad!

Posts: 1148 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: US
MystiKay
Member
Member # 36401
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

What a beautiful kitty! I am so sorry for you loss. Have you read the rainbow bridge poem. I love it.

http://www.rainbowbridge.com/Poem.htm


Posts: 281 | Registered: Aug 2012
grapefruit
Member
Member # 27090
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Sorry for your loss. I know how painful it is - we lost our beloved kitty when he was only 18 months old to heart trouble. It was just awful seeing him suffer, and devastating to lose him.

Eva looked like a beautiful kitty. I'm sure you have many happy memories


FWW / BS (me)
FWH / BS (him)
In R ...

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jan 2010
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry :( Such a beautiful cat, but so much more than that - a beloved friend.


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you for the overwhelming support we have received here.

LH is devastated. So am I. We loved he so much. She was so tiny, yet so huge in the house. It seems very empty here, despite having another cat and two dogs. She was unique, and made memories everywhere.

It was her second birthday today. happy birthday my darling, rest easy. Catch all the birds, voles, rabbits and slow worms you like. Xxx

Missing her so much.

I lost my Grannie whom I love very much this year. I was sad, but I understood. She was 87 and lived a tremendous life. She was ready to move on, next to her husband.
The grief of losing eva is totally overwhelming. I feel bad that I grieve more for my cat, but it seems so unfair. She was not even 2 for christs sake. God I miss her.

Just expect her to break in through the cat flap with a jingling bell and noisy MIAOW wondering what all the fuss is about.

My other cat is an older boy. A solo flyer that was so tolerant of her. He's just sat and stared at the cat flap.

This loss stuff sucks real bad.


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
OktoberMest
Member
Member # 34173
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you for the overwhelming support we have received here.

LH is devastated. So am I. We loved he so much. She was so tiny, yet so huge in the house. It seems very empty here, despite having another cat and two dogs. She was unique, and made memories everywhere.

It was her second birthday today. happy birthday my darling, rest easy. Catch all the birds, voles, rabbits and slow worms you like. Xxx

Missing her so much.

I lost my Grannie whom I love very much this year. I was sad, but I understood. She was 87 and lived a tremendous life. She was ready to move on, next to her husband.
The grief of losing eva is totally overwhelming. I feel bad that I grieve more for my cat, but it seems so unfair. She was not even 2 for christs sake. God I miss her.

Just expect her to break in through the cat flap with a jingling bell and noisy MIAOW wondering what all the fuss is about.

My other cat is an older boy. A solo flyer that was so tolerant of her. He's just sat and stared at the cat flap.

This loss stuff sucks real bad.


Me: FWW (35) Growing up at last.
LonelyHusband: BH (41)
Dday 1: 29/Oct/11; Dday 2:15/Nov/11; last TT 15/Mar/12
In R...working my arse off.
When you're struggling with commitment to your marriage, just imagine what it's like to be a penguin.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
ItsaClimb
Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 1:16 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I am so, so sorry for your loss! I literally wouldn't have survived the last 10 months without my beloved dog, so I fully understand the deep and powerful support a pet can provide during traumatic times. My heart is just aching for you.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 908 | Registered: Oct 2012
silverhopes
Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 2:15 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

She must have been an amazing spirit. I'm so sorry.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)

Posts: 3880 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I find these kinds of posts to be among the hardest on SI. Not just an animal, but a beloved that has done so much, and deserves so much more in return.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Man, that is just heartbreaking. What a beautiful girl, with such a beautiful name. I am so sorry for your loss, and what you had to go through with finding her in that condition, LonelyHusband and OktoberMest.

Posts: 6128 | Registered: Dec 2010
LonelyHusband
Member
Member # 34145
Default  Posted: 4:10 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

That cat literally saved my life.

Just when I thought I had developed healthier coping skills for dealing with loss, it turns out I am still a fucking disaster. I'm sitting here in floods of tears, bawling for my little baby girl. I recognise myself flying around the stages of grief from denial to bargaining to anger, but recognising it doesn't seem to help me cope any better. I just want my kitten back :(

I recognise this pain all too well. My heart is broken.

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 4:20 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)]


BS ( me) 41
fWS (OktoberMest) 35
D day #1 29/10/2011, D day #2 15/112011, D day #3 15/03/2012
Reconciling.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”, is inadequate consolation when you vacuum up a child's hamster'

Posts: 1290 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: UK
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 4:24 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

My heart is breaking for you; what an awful loss.

She was beautiful inside and out. I hope you guys can lean on each other at this time.

(((((LH))))))), ((((((octobermest)))))

[This message edited by catlover50 at 4:25 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)]



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1698 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Eva was never just a cat.

She was your family.

Rest in Peace, Eva.

She will be waiting for you, LH and Oktober, at the Rainbow Bridge.

(((((((LH, Oktober, and family))))))))


Posts: 3286 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
selkiescot
Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Hugs and peace. I am so sorry for your loss.


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1373 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Ohhh Honey I am so sorry!


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3180 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Someone once told me to post a picture to the web (which you just did) to honor them and release their joy to the world when my own cat of 15 years passed away.

This same person said they will be waiting for you and meet you at the gate of heaven (or whatever your religion believes) when your time comes.

Hold onto that. It helped me.


Posts: 5607 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Oh,Im so very,very sorry. What a beautiful kitty.

((((((((((LH))))))))))


((((((((((OM))))))))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7112 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you for posting that LH. She is a very precious girl.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17111 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
notquiteoverit
Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved companion is horrible and painful.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 568 | Registered: Jul 2011
JustAShadow
Member
Member # 38370
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Such a tragic loss.

((((LH, OktoberMest, Eva))))


ME: 41 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 1997, 2003
Him: 35 - Madhatter, 2 PAs, 2004, 3/2012 - 3/2014
Status: Living Apart

Posts: 194 | Registered: Feb 2013
heartbroken0903
Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry for your & OkM's loss. It's NEVER "just a cat." My heart goes out to you both.


Me: WS, 30s
XH: BS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Reconciling after divorce

"Someday you'll look back on all these days
And all this pain is gonna be invisible." - Hunter Hayes, "Invisible"


Posts: 2074 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry for your loss ((LH)) and ((OkM))

Like children, pets just seem to slide into our lives, and we wonder what we did before they arrived.

She is beautiful.

My DD's wonderful cat was hit by a car, in front of our house, and my DS is the one who had to put her out of her misery. (we were out of town). It takes an amazing person to be able to do that.

LH, you are an amazing person.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
SilverRose13
Member
Member # 33982
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)


No words, just hugs.


Together 16 years, Married 13
BS (me; 32)
fWS (wtsmm; 32) 2 1/2 yr LTA
2 children, 11 and 5
DD #1 9/27/2011 (EA/Sexting)
DD #2 10/3/2011 (Some PA)
DD #3 11/28/2011 (Full Disclosure)

Posts: 223 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Northern Illinois
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I knew what you had written from the title, but my first reaction when I opened it up was, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CAT! What a beautiful cat.

I'm so sorry for the loss of her life. She looks like she had a lot more life left.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

No humane person will say or think 'just a cat'. She's a terrible loss for you.

I'm very glad you were together for a time, though.


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9732 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm so so very sorry.

We have an unknown number of days in this life - all of us.

You showed your sweet Eva so much love and comfort in her time here. That's all anyone can ask.

(((LH, OkM)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16297 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
stillhere09
Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)


I'm so sorry!


Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M


Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I am so very, very sorry. Please accept my sincerest condolences. What a beautiful lady, she was! I''m very fond of meesers, purebreds and happy coincidences.

They really ask for so little, don''t they? For a bit of food, some water, an occasional litter pan policing, they amuse you, purr in your lap, deposit dead critters in your shoes, and let you dampen their coats with your tears. They are a blessing while they are with us and too soon gone.

I''m so sorry for your loss.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4550 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm sorry.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7411 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
openedupmyeyes
Member
Member # 27871
Frustrated  Posted: 9:48 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

So sorry for your loss. Grateful for the time you had together.


Me:53 BS
Him:53 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:35
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

Posts: 760 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: The Great State of Texas
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Eva was beautiful, I am sorry for your loss. I picked my beloved little Chihuahua from the road five years ago after he was run over, right in front of me. It still haunts me... Again, I'm sorry for your loss.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9649 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Jaded4life
Member
Member # 37577
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I am so sorry for your loss. It''s so sad when we lose a precious pet and member of the family. Take care of you.


Me: 43...so betrayed.
Him: WH 46...multiple ONS, in therapy. A work in progress.
D-Months: Nov & Dec 2012. TT.
Married 4 years, together 5.
One beautiful amazing daughter, 15 mos

Posts: 94 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Land of the lost
tuscandreamer
Member
Member # 17406
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

So sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so very hard. I understand the comfort a pet can bring when going through the pains of infidelity. My beloved Donner was my source of comfort.

I think that Eva and Donner are playing over the Rainbow Bridge together.


BS 47
WH 44
Dday #1 6/20/07, Dday #2 (different OW) 5/16/09
3 DDs (14, 9, 7)
Reconciling???

Posts: 482 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 94