SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Read this about trust
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

"You either trust yourself or you don't trust yourself. When you don't trust yourself, you will not trust other people.
When you do not trust other people, you cannot trust the process of living or loving in which other people are involved. When you don't trust love other people you cannot live openly or fully. When you are not open to living fully, it means that you expect to be hurt. This expectation makes you constantly afraid that you can't handle the pain. When you don't believe you can handle something, it means you don't trust yourself. This is exactly where we started." -

Iyanla Vanzant.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5230 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
loveisareddress
Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Sounds like a load to me...


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 442 | Registered: Aug 2012
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

It doesn't address trying to regain trust in someone who stabbed you in the back so...

I do agree we must trust ourselves. I came to the conclusion that I found out once, I'll find out again if he cheats on me, and that I'm strong enough to take it. So, I trust myself 100%.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6542 | Registered: Jan 2011
crestfallen
Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

Exactly, Rebreather! You nailed it!

Happens again, trust me...I'm outta here!


BS-me-57
WH-57
Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2010
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

some people I simply do not trust because they are untrustworthy. I trust my gut and common sense and my own two eyes, so therefore I don't trust them. I trust they can work on their shit far away from me and my life will be fuller without them. I trust that sometimes it is wise to not trust some people.

[This message edited by JustWow at 5:03 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)]


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3629 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Kierst13
Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, June 18th (Tuesday)

I trust me. I trust me to take care of me and make decisions that are in my best interest. However, there are other people I do not trust with me, and it has nothing to do with me trusting myself.

It has everything to do with them being untrustworthy people. I can always pick myself up and dust myself off no matter what anyone else does to me, no matter how heinous, doesn't mean I will trust the offender again. At some point that would simply make me a fool.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 6