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User Topic: I threw DS23 out yesterday
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Sad  Posted: 8:58 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm a basket case.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))
I know how hard that must have been.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((((((ppga)))))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

((((PPGA))))

I know you said you're a basket case..but I think what you did showed tremendous strength,courage,and love.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((PPGA)))

I understand. You know it's the right thing, right? You will get thru somehow. I'm so sorry.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

So sorry to hear this.

((((ppga))))

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))

I am sorry. We had to do the same thing to our son back in February. He is 24.

My head knows it's right, my heart struggles.

There are times I want to smack him in the head and other times I want to hold him close and keep him safe.

We have no control over them and all we can do is hope they find their ways.

I know it's hard and it hurts.

I am hoping for you, and all of us it truly gets better one day.


((((hugs))))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((((ppga))))

I agree with Confused615...it was a very brave thing you did. Slow and steady...it will be ok.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197715 | Registered: May 2002
jrc1963
Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((PPGA)))


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24504 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))

You are so strong. Hang in there.

And when you aren't strong? Come here and let us remind you.

(((big big hugs)))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5808 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Thank you all for your support. It means so much to me.

Now my fear is that he will make another suicide attempt.

Yesterday was beyond horrible.

Plus H was a basket case, and I had to keep him calmed down in addition to dealing with DS and my own anguish.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I don't really know the specifics but I wanted to share this with you.

When I was 24 I called my mom from jail for bail money for the umpteenth time. She told me to "Rot There!!!" And hung up the phone.

That was the most loving thing she ever did for me. The growth didn't start right away but it was the spark that eventually ignited the fire to change.

You are in my prayers.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2581 | Registered: Aug 2012
his#1
Member
Member # 3432
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))

I am so sorry. I know how you feel and I wish with all of my heart I could help.


**The soul would have no rainbow
Had the eyes no tears.~J.Cheney
**Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey

Posts: 1648 | Registered: Feb 2004 | From: Michigan
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))

I'm so sorry, but you know you are doing the right thing. I wish it didn't have to all be so hard though.

((((ppga))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((Ppga)))

Sometimes the right thing to do is the toughest thing to do.

Sending lots of hugs.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4165 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((((ppga)))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
2oldforthis
Member
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Hugs Prayers (PPGA)

It is so hard when it comes to our kids. I feel for you.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Jun 2008
scarredforever
Member
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(PPGA) My heart breaks for you.
I know what it is like to have a son who has broken my heart many times.


"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"


Posts: 1057 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

((((PPGA))))

I'm getting close with DS20 and praying I don't have to go through with it. Please find peace knowing that you are doing the right thing for him.

A friend told us the story of how his mother had to throw him ou tof the house. She was wracked with guilt. He told her many years later that it was the best thing that she could have done for him and he so appreciates it. I hope things will be better for you both in the long run.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

(((ppga))) (((ppga's whole family)))

Dealing with mental illness is heartbreaking, even more so when it is your baby. You all have been through so much hell, no one should have to go through that.

Wishing you all peace and serenity.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9640 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of strength. (((((ppga)))))


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20148 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Sending love PPGA.. I am so sorry you are hurting again



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44671 | Registered: Sep 2006
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry (((HUGS)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

((((PPGA & family))))


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9710 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
ToTrustAgain
Member
Member # 15167
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

My mother's refusal to let me come back home is what saved my life.

You did the right thing.

Hang in there!


"We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it."

Posts: 82 | Registered: Jun 2007
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 11:32 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

My SO has a 19YO daughter that is a real brat.
She came home from college and pretty much decided she did not have to follow any rules since she was grown up now.
I bought my SO a book on Amazon on how to deal with kids like that.

The book said that unless you take a stand, you are essentially just "enabling" bad behavior.
It advised doing what you are doing and just like you have here, getting a support group to help you out.
If you are interested in the book, send me a PM and I will find the name of it.
I read it myself and found it very informative.
Her daughter is now living with her father. That makes it all harder to control.
My SO has some sad moments, but overall she feels much better about herself.
Hang in there
(((PPGA)))

[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 11:32 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)]


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
nightsky
Member
Member # 35728
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

((((ppga)))) I'm so sorry for the pain you and your family are experiencing.

You are a strong, loving, caring woman.

Strength and peace to you and your family.


BW (me) – WH (him) mid-50s Married 33 yrs

DD 6/2012 –WH has been paying $$$ for online video sex chats and calls his favorite “my girlfriend.”

"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith" Margaret Shepard


Posts: 109 | Registered: Jun 2012
itainteasy
Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

((((((ppga))))))

Posts: 3371 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
lordhasaplan?
Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

((((PPGA & family))))
Thinking of you guys. I applaud you for making a very hard decision. my family had same decision to make with my addict brother. Very hard. But in hind site, it was really the healthiest thing to do, he was toxic for the family at that point.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1897 | Registered: Nov 2010
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

(((PPGA & family)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Thank you all.

I am still in anguish. I am now agonizing over my long standing unspoken fear that he may be schizophrenic/schizoaffective and misdiagnosed as bipolar.

His behavior recently has been concerning, although it could be attributed to his drug abuse.

He has been pacing a lot in the last month or so.

On Monday he told me he had lost his wallet. Again. For about the 4th time in the past year. I joked and said that he may need to get a GPS device for his wallet so he could find it the next time he loses it. He looked at me with complete seriousness and said, "I wouldn't ever do that because then the Feds would know where I was".


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
somanyyears
Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, June 20th (Thursday)


..((((((ppga)))))))

..sending hope and good mojo to all of your family.

..letting them sink or swim is tough for sure!

..'tough love' is tough on everybody in the mix.

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4123 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

(((PPGA)))
Oh dear Pain, I fear his Feds remark IS really be a paranoid event. Whether it's schizophrenic, that's for a professional to decide. It doesn't sound bipolar to me, though. (((PPGA)))


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

He called me at midnight last nite to tell me he went to his shrink appt yesterday and his meds are being changed.

I wasn't too happy to be awakened at midnight, but I was glad to know he was okay.

He sounded clear. This is all just so bizarre.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

It a very good thing that he still cares enough to call you and let you know that he is OK and that he saw his dr. My fear has been that if I force DS out that I will lose all contact. (((PPGA)))


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

My fear has been that if I force DS out that I will lose all contact. (((PPGA)))
oh, me too gahurts. Especially if he winds up homeless. (Right now he is with friends, but I think they are only giving him 2 weeks there).

Gahurts, what's going on with your DS? Is it drugs?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

The hardest decisions are typically the right ones.

(((ppga)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3596 | Registered: Oct 2011
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

I have a post about it on NB. He was arrested for possession with intent to distribute. When that happened I learned that he also cashed one bogus check and tried to cash a second one and the bank pressed charges. We paid the bank back but once it got in front of the DA the DA would not drop the charges. He just had to go to court to take a plea deal on that. We are still waiting to find out what will happen with the drug charges.

The bigeest problem is that he hangs around the house doing nothing. I'm on his butt about lookign for work and he has stepped that up and he is going to AA meetings but he just does not contribute the way he needs to. If he doesn't have a job or isn't going to school then he needs to be contributing around the house without me telling him every thing to do. All I need is for him to show a little initiative and I am satisfied but he keeps slipping back into old patters. And the fact that he doesn't see anything wrong with pot just drives me crazy. No only because I don't like it but because it is now starting to ruin his life but he still doesn't think there is anything wrong.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
WhatsRight
Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

PPGA... this...

Plus H was a basket case, and I had to keep him calmed down in addition to dealing with DS and my own anguish

When we don't think we can stand another thing, we end up taking care of yet another person.

I want to be a man in my next life!

So sorry for your grief. Just found out last night that our son has NOT been going to his tech school since January. I don't know whether or not to be more upset about those lies, and the gas money we gave him to get there, or the wondering where in the hell has he been going from 3 - 9 every night for 5 months?

I just wanted to hold a baby in my arms!

Not really. I love my kids. But boy can it hurt.

(((PPGA)))


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)

(((GA Hurts))) That was my fear too. It is one of the toughest things we have to do as parents. DS always seems to manage and we haven't lost him yet, thank God. You and your DS are in my thoughts.

t/j (as a member)

When we don't think we can stand another thing, we end up taking care of yet another person.

I want to be a man in my next life!

Not sure what being a man or a woman has to do with it. For me and my H, we pick up the slack for each other when the other has had enough. There was a point where I had to check out of DS's drama for awhile or I would have ended up in the hospital. H said, "You take a break, I got this."

I have done the same for him. There is nothing wrong with leaning on each other. Actually, it's necessary, IMO. end t/j


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
why2008
Member
Member # 18378
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, June 25th (Tuesday)

Speaking as someone who had a rough growing up and a VERY rocky start in my 20's, drinking, staying out all night, doing drugs... you are doing the right thing.

It was only when my mother quit enabling me that I finally grew up and starting supporting myself and got my life on track. As long as someone was footing the bill, I was going to party and have a good time. I worked my way through college on my own and my current social group would be shocked if they knew my "history".

Also this advice is spot on...

For me and my H, we pick up the slack for each other when the other has had enough. There was a point where I had to check out of DS's drama for awhile or I would have ended up in the hospital. H said, "You take a break, I got this."
I have done the same for him. There is nothing wrong with leaning on each other. Actually, it's necessary, IMO. end

Support your H but make sure you let him know this is difficult for you and that you need emotional support too.

You know you are doing the right thing and as a parent I know how heartbreaking this is for you.

((ppga & gahurts))


Me - BS - 46
Him - WS - 44
Two daughters / 10 and 7

Posts: 4074 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Maryland / DC
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)

My little sister(22) is in the hospital again..overdose..again..life support..again. Off life support now...but she is talking like a 2 year old...we fear brain damage.

My mother is her biggest enabler. had she been strong,and made tough decisions,like the one you had to make PPGA,maybe,just maybe this wouldn't have happened..again.

I HATE drugs.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, June 25th (Tuesday)

Pain, cocaine use can cause horrible paranoid events, especially when coming down. He's not sniffing or freebasing, is he?


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, June 27th (Thursday)

I don't know lyn.

He is taking steps now to get into drug treatment thru our state Vocational Rehabilation Dept. they have their own dedicated treatment centers; the waits are much shorter there. I do know for a fact he showed up for the first appt, b/c the people there called me.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

Well, that may be a step in the right direction. They really do have to hit rock bottom before they realize the only way is up. Don't second guess that you did the right thing. This may be his rock bottom. (((pain)))


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
cass
Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, June 27th (Thursday)

((((ppga))))

Make sure you also take care of you.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, July 1st (Monday)

I just sent this to a member that PMed me:


Things are beginning to get very tough for him, and he is breaking emotionally. I fear he will kill himself.

He left his phone in a out of town acquaintances car yesterday, and the guy left to go back home. So since all DS's contact numbers are on the phone, he can't call the guy. He has called his own phone repeatedly, and the guy never picks up.

DS is desperate for his phone, because he is waiting for some girl that he is supposed to repair some damage he did to her car to call him. She has threatened him with a bench warrant the next day if he doesn't fix her car. So she can't contact him, and he has no way to contact her. He is also waiting for the call from the rehab people to come at any moment.

He had also been told by the people he is staying with now that he has to leave there on Thursday.

So he is desperate, comes to my house crying, saying he can't do anything right even when he is trying to. My heart breaks. He says he is going to drive the 1 1/2 hrs to the guys house. He asks if he can take my cell phone so he can continue to call his phone while driving there. I say NO, I can call his phone for him.

So, at 11pm last night, DS decides to drive 1 1/2 hrs to the guys house. (He has no money, and little gas in his car). He gets about 30 miles up the road, and runs out of gas. He calls me at midnight. Can I bring him some gas? FUCK.

So I did. I caved. I helped him. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. I dragged my ass out of bed at midnight, rummaged thru the garage to find a gas can. Went to the station to fill it up, drove 30 miles to give it to him, and even gave him $20 to get more gas.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, July 1st (Monday)


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, July 1st (Monday)

(((PPGA)))

BTDT as far as bailing DS out way too many times than I should have. You're a parent, you're human.

I really believe there is nothing more difficult.

Big, giant hugs.

Every night I pray for these kids.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, July 1st (Monday)

(((ppga))) (((DS23)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9640 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
rollercoaster80
Member
Member # 23412
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, July 4th (Thursday)

(((PPGA)))


me 55 fbw
him 67 FWH/SA
married 32 years
together 31 years my whole adult life!
4 s, 1 stepd, 2 grand kids

multiple A's, 2 LTA's,multiple indescretions...before and throughout our marriage


Posts: 1047 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: sarasota, fl
2oldforthis
Member
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, July 5th (Friday)

Oh how I feel your pain, (pain). It sure is a fine line we walk when being a parent. We know when our help at times may not help them in the long run but we just can't see them suffer.

I have walked that fine line so many times in much smaller ways with my own children.

I can totally understand how you would go and help even at that time of night.

I hope things get better for you both.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Jun 2008
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, July 5th (Friday)

((PPGA))I am sorry you are going through this. What a nightmare for every parent experiencing it.


LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2281 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
PiQue
Member
Member # 17575
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, July 5th (Friday)

Sending you healing prayers, PPGA. I've been in your shoes. I put one of my daughters out when she was 20 to sink or swim. Not an easy decision. She struggled to tread water for awhile, but learned to swim pretty quickly.


Me/BW 50+
Him/WH 60+ Long Distance LTA
NEVER ignore your gut.


Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Mid-Atlantic Region
MoreThanMe
Member
Member # 25451
Default  Posted: 3:56 AM, July 6th (Saturday)

I'm so sorry. The mental health system in this country leaves much to be desired.
I come from a long line of mental illness- and I have it too.
My cousin sounds just like your son- except she involved not only her mom- but the rest of the family too. A therapist told her family- that she was holding them all emotionally hostage- and she was. Her family kicked her out- and after some trips across the country to call and threaten to kill herself- she finally got her mental illness under control.
To a less less degree- I finally admitted the chronic depression that kept me from enjoying my life and started medication and therapy- exactly when --I had to.
I'm so sorry- I can't imagine the pain.


Brevity, typos & misspellings provided by my ipad and fatigue.
It's been 4 years, SA husband sober. We're doing okay. Today.

fWH had ONS with High School Principal he met on Ashley.com. 08/25/2009


Posts: 696 | Registered: Sep 2009
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

The mental health system in this country leaves much to be desired.
Yep, don't even get me started on that issue! Grrrrr!

Well, he's completely on the street now.

He did make it to his second Voc Rehab appt, and they said it should be another week or two before a spot opens in their inpatient program. God why do these things take so long!!!

He came by the other day and asked to take a shower again. He was filthy. I said no, but he was welcome to use the outside hose if he wanted to, but that he was not coming in the house. He cried. It killed me.

When I woke up this morning his truck was parked in the street beside our house. He was sleeping in it.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how much pain you are feeling right now. Sending prayers to you both.

(((ppg)))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13746 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

Doing the right thing can really suck sometimes. I was horrible when I was younger...well, it was only 9 years ago. I broke too many laws, was in a horrible relationship, did drugs, etc. My parents kicked me out, cut me off, and let me hit rock bottom. I'm soooo glad they did. Jail sucked and my visits to the hospital weren't fun either, but I needed all that to happen. Thankfully it didn't take too long to get my head out of my ass after they put their foot down (about 6 months). I don't even want to know what kind of life I'd have now if it hadn't happened.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 625 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))

I wanted you to know I am thinking about you, sending you strength and praying for your son.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

I don't know if they call it "tough love" because it's so hard on the kid or so devastating to the parent.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

(((ppga)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)

(((((ppga))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, July 19th (Friday)

He is in bad shape.

Still on the street.

Could be several more weeks before the treatment center takes him.

H is weakening and wants to to let him come back.

I am still in hell over this.

Here is a song for our loved ones ones with addictions:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-pD2zIuiC2g&feature=fvwrel


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, July 19th (Friday)

(((PPGA)))
Sending you strength for this awful situation.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, July 19th (Friday)

((((ppga))))

Oh I'm just ACHING for you. Big big hugs to all of you.

((((ppga))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
hopelessromantic
Member
Member # 25415
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, July 19th (Friday)

(((ppga)))

I'm so sorry for your heartache. I can't even imagine.
Sending you all the strength and mojo you need. It makes *my* DD struggles taking place seem so small.

Wishing you peace to get you through this, wishing your son blessings from God that he will hold him thru the hell he is in and bring him thru on the other side.

hang in there, as a mom, my heart is breaking for you and hoping you find your inner strength to get you through it.


BS-Me FWS-him (bigdog)
D-Day 5/3/09 TT til 6/22/09
Behind every woman scorned is a man who made her that way.

Posts: 2836 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Midwest
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, July 19th (Friday)

((((ppga))))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, July 19th (Friday)

((((ppga)))) You are one of my heroes, ppga. Please believe me when I say you are amazing, even though I am sure you feel anything but.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9640 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, July 19th (Friday)

What Sistermilkshake said.

((((PPGA and DS)))))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, July 19th (Friday)

Thanks you for all your thoughts and prayers sweet friends. His situation is, and always has been so horrendous that there really aren't many people to talk to other than you guys and my NAMI support people.

Please everyone keep him in your prayers.

He came by yesterday briefly to return some more tools. I told him I loved him. I asked if there was anything I could do for him. I did go pick up and pay for his bipolar meds. He just stared at me and cried. I hugged him and asked if he wanted to talk. He said no.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 1:17 PM, July 19th (Friday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, July 19th (Friday)

((((ppga))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, July 19th (Friday)

((PPGA))

I'm so sorry.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
redrock
Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, July 19th (Friday)

(((ppga)))


I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3156 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 19th (Friday)

(((Painpaingoaway)))

Posts: 1378 | Registered: Jan 2010
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, July 19th (Friday)

((Pain)). You and DS are in my thoughts.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7638 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, July 19th (Friday)

Continued prayers for all of you.

(((ppga)))


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

He's been gone 5 weeks now. Still has not been called for rehab, however they did send him to the doc for TB test and a physical, and he went.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

(((ppga)))

Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
cass
Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

(((ppga))) Hang in there, hopefully he will get a call soon.


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

(((PPGA)))
I am sorry you are going through this.

He's been gone 5 weeks now. Still has not been called for rehab

^^^this doesn't sound right to me at all. The longest I have ever seen anyone wait was 10 days. Usually 3-5 days.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2581 | Registered: Aug 2012
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

(((ppga))) my heart breaks just reading this.


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5894 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

^^^this doesn't sound right to me at all. The longest I have ever seen anyone wait was 10 days. Usually 3-5 days.
Chicho, he's going thru a state agency, and sadly, there have been many errors and miscommunications along the way which have delayed the process even more than usual. For example, originally his caseworker could not get in contact with him because he had reversed 2 numbers when he gave her his cell number. It was a total fluke that I called there and spoke with her and she told me that she had been trying to contact him but did not have the right number. Two weeks were pissed away over that mistake. And it horrified me no end at the thought that if I had NOT called, he would have waited forever for their call that would have never come. This is why I still feel the need to advocate on his behalf, because he simply is too impaired to advocate for himself.

The system so so fucked up that I want to give up, but it is all we have. I can only pray that he stays alive, doesn't give up, doesn't get arrested again, and stays out of trouble until he gets in. He came by yesterday and I gave him some soup. I talked to him today and asked him how he liked the soup, and he had not even eaten it.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)

Hugs and prayers


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2581 | Registered: Aug 2012
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 12:19 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

(((Ppga and Ds)))


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
m334455
Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

This has been a long time coming. You're doing the right thing. Hang in there.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

((((((ppga))))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
karmahappens
Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))

Thinking of you and your son today, like most days.

Wishing you both some peace. This is such a hard road.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3800 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
still2suspicious
Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)

Sending you, and DS, all the hugs and prayers I can.

ppg- you are amazing woman, and mom. I can't even imagine.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1281 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

You are in my thoughts/prayers as well.

Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, July 25th (Thursday)

(((Ppga and DS)))

Your son continues to be in my prayers.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, July 25th (Thursday)

"They" say (whoever THEY are) that the male brain matures at 25. I have one 21 year old male, and one 23 year old male. I am counting the days.

My 27 year old daughter has never caused me nearly the same amount of grief.


Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

He finally got the call. He is going into rehab on Monday!!!

I can not believe this has taken almost 2 months to get him into rehab when he has been willing to go!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

I'm glad he is finally getting into rehab PPGA. I hope it works out for him.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

PPGA, where is he going? You can pm or txt me if you'd rather. If he's near me and you need a place to crash or just want to get together for lunch again, I am SO in.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

Thanks HFSSC, it's not near you unfortunately.

But I will let you know when I am passing thru your town, and we can do lunch. Should be fairly soon.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

That's wonderful news!!

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

I'm so glad he's finally got a place.


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, August 15th (Thursday)

So very happy to read this, ppga! We're counting the minutes with you. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

That's great news. You and your family are in my thoughts.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

Awesome!!


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2581 | Registered: Aug 2012
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, August 15th (Thursday)

I'm so glad he was finally able to get placed. I'll keep him in my prayers.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, August 16th (Friday)

Wonderful!!

Love , peace and prayers for DS and you


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

DS just called. Wanted to know if he could spend the night here tonight since we will have to leave at 6am tomorrow to get him to the rehab by 8:30am. I said yes.

I even told him I would wash his clothes for him. I'm sure none of his clothes have been washed in two months.

I know better than to get my hopes up too much, but I am feeling encouraged by, if nothing other than the fact that he has continued to keep all his appointments that have facilitated him getting into the facility. So, for today, I chose to be happy about his situation.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

Sending you and DS every bit of strength I've got.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, August 18th (Sunday)


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, August 18th (Sunday)

PPG -- for today, I am happy for you. And for every day you have something positive to say about this situation!

Lots of prayers for all of you. This has been so hard on you and I'm sure DS. I'm so impressed by your resolve and strength. I hope your DS has the same during his treatment. Fingers crossed and anything else that might help.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
UndecidedinMA
Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

(((ppga)))
I know this is the hardest thing to do but you need to be strong.

I can tell you his fate if not. He will be 58 years old living in a shed drinking beer all day. No friends cause they are mostly dead from drugs & alcohol.

That is my brother, my parents enabled him his whole life. He was bailed out of OUI's, bad checks, & other things to hard to count. The only reason I een tolreate him is for my 87yo mothers sake. I remind him every week, that when my mother goes so does he. He will be 50/60 something and homeless, no money, no job, no friends. It is a sad waste that could have been helped, they just thought being his soft place was good, it wasn't.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

I know UDIMA. I'm trying my best, and I think I'm being strong.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, August 18th (Sunday)

(((PPGA))) I'm so excited for you both!

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, August 19th (Monday)

How did it go today?


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Been thinking of you and your DS all day. Hope you are resting after a successful intake. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, August 19th (Monday)

(((((PPGA)))))))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

((((((ppga)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I hope I am not overstepping here, but I know y'all truly care and are concerned. It didn't go well yesterday and PPGA and her family really need prayers/thoughts/mojo.

(((PPGA)))


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)


Sending love and mojo for you PPGA and your son and family.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44671 | Registered: Sep 2006
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

(((PPGA))))

we are all here when you're ready. i'm sorry it didn't go well. continued prayers and good thoughts for all of you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Sending strength, good thoughts, prayers, hugs, and hope.

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

You have been in my thoughts and prayers, PPGA. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. It must be so very hard to not be able to help your child. I know there's nothing we can do, but I so wish there was. (((PPGA)))


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

(((((ppga & family))))) Sending you strength and comfort, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Oh HFSSC, I appreciate you asking for prayers for us. Not overstepping at all.

So here's a brief synopsis I sent out to friends and family yesterday of what went down yesterday morning...another massive system failure.
******************************************
I'm typing this from a rest stop off I-95 where I stopped to cry and take a klonopin.

For those of you that don't know, after 2 months of waiting, DS23 finally got the call on Friday that a spot had opened up at the XXX rehab in XYZ.

We were there bright and early this morning, full of hope for a better tomorrow. Even though he was there for help, and had a good attitude, things went very very wrong, and they refused DS admittance. Things went from bad to worse, and it was almost as bad as the horrible scene at ABC Mental Health clinic 2 yrs ago. I was able to calm him enough so that they didn't call the police, but it came very very close.

I simply could not cope, and I left DS at a bus station in XYZ to get back home on his own, since I had already planned to go on to (different city) today, and then on to the farm from there.

I have no idea how DS will get back to where his truck is, his phone battery was dying, so he may not even be able to call anyone.

F**K IT ALL!!!!!!!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

((((ppga))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

WTH?

I'm so sorry, ppga.

So very sorry.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

PPGA,

That is horrible. I am so sorry to hear he didn't get admitted.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I will provide a better explanation of what happened when I can find the time to write it all out.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

((((ppga, DS, family)))) So sorry about the current setback. My heart breaks for you and DS.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9710 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Oh no!!! ((((ppga, DS, family))))

I'm so sorry the shit has hit the fan, I am thinking of you all and sending STRENGTH, positive thoughts and tons of MOJO your way. I hope this can get straightened out, and that he will be able to get the help he needs.

((((ppga & DS))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

(((ppga, DS, family)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

((ppga)) I'm so sorry you are going through this


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21096 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

What???

I know you're doing everything you can, (((ppga))). Is there a group familiar with these types of trials and tribulations that can help advocate for him??


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

(((PPGA)))


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry, ppga. What a roller-coaster this is for you.
{{{hugs}}}


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I'm sorry ((((ppga))))

Praying for DS


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

oh my....so sorry. My heart goes out to you. ((((hugs))))))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

You and your family are in my prayers. Sending strength, mojo, light, love-whatever you need to you.

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

A big hug goes out to you from Canada. I'm so so sorry. I hope you find your answer, soon. Can you contact somebody in government and see if you can set a fire under somebody's ass?

Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Here is a letter I am working on to send to the director of the facility. This provides an explanation of what happened this past Monday.

"Another massive fail in the treatment of dual diagnosis: The 'Catch' 5250"

On Aug. 19, 2013, precisely 2 months from the day my severely compromised son reached out for help with his illness, (dual diagnosis of Bipolar disorder and substance abuse), he was hopeful and anxiously anticipating his admittance into the XXX Department of XXX Rehabilitation's substance abuse facility in XYZ, USA.

But, alas, the help he wanted, the help he needed, the help his friends and family hoped and prayed he would receive, would not come to fruition.

Those of us that work closely with, and care for an individual with a severe and persistent mental illness know the soul crushing blow of another missed opportunity to find help for those who suffer with the ravages of their illness.

Why 'soul crushing' you ask? Because we know that if our loved one suffered with any illness other than mental illness, they would receive prompt, compassionate care. But sadly, often due to the 'unpleasant' or downright scary symptoms and behaviors of some individuals suffering with brain disorders and co-occurring addictions, proper care is very difficult to find.

You see, 3 yrs ago, my then severely depressed 20 year old bipolar son called one afternoon to ask me if I could 'feel the pain of every individual in the entire world'. Several hours later he threw himself in front of a car in an attempt to end his life. Thankfully he survived the attempt, but was left with a traumatic brain injury, and an even more virulent form of bipolar disorder. His neurologist told me that the blow to his head inflicted by a car traveling 45 miles per hour was equivalent to what a prize fighter might receive in an entire lifetime.

I could write a tome about our experiences, but the greatly edited concise version of my son's struggles for the last 3 years, is a nightmare of multiple psychiatric hospitalizations, arrests, jails, substance abuse, rehab, addiction, homelessness, compliance with meds, non-compliance with meds, and prostitution, with brief periods of wellness lasting no more than a few months at a time.

For those of us lucky enough to have loved ones that have not yet succumbed to the 'Great Escape', we know the devastation of a missed opportunity for treatment. For my son, this past Monday, Aug 19, was another missed opportunity; those of us fighting this battle with our loved ones know how few and far between these opportunities arise, how fleeting they are, and if not acted upon immediately, are gone like a puff of smoke.

My son, homeless for the last 2 months, wanted that help. Asked for that help. Showed up for every appointment with his Voc rehab counselor, cooperated with all preliminary requirements, and patiently awaited admittance into rehab for TWO MONTHS. For my son to wait that long and not give up, while waiting TWO MONTHS, in and of itself, was nothing short of a miracle.

So, on this past Monday morning, after entering the facility, my son followed the admitting nurse into a room to go over his meds, and, according to what she later told me, (I was not in the room with them), when she told him that there was some sort of a problem with the date on one of his RX bottles, he reached over, took the pill bottle, tore off the date, and said, "there, now it's fixed".

Next thing I know, the nurse, my son, and a med tech come into the lobby where I was waiting, and the admitting nurse told me that because of what he did, he would not be allowed admittance into the facility, that she was not going to 'put up with' that kind of behavior. She said she had a call in to his doctor, and felt sure that the RX 'date' problem could have been easily resolved when the doc returned the call, but because my son tore the date off the bottle, she was not going to allow him admittance.

Well, I was stunned, and as I struggled to digest this information, I could see my son becoming angrier and angrier. And within seconds, he began to rage, and began screaming obscenities at her and threatened to punch her in the face.

Oh boy. Not good. Not good at all.

I was able to talk him into going outside the building, and I proceeded to sincerely and profusely apologize for his appalling behavior, then I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "this is what bipolar is, this is why he is here, he needs help". She did not respond. But the med tech piped up and said "because he's not taking his meds"! And I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "that is what bipolar is".

My sons behavior was appalling, horrific, scary, and completely unacceptable. I will be the first one to admit that. But I need to share an observation. An observation I have made several times while on this journey with my son. The situation could have been completely avoided. It did not have to happen. But because this intake nurse chose to lord her perceived position of authority over my son and refuse him admittance because he tore a scrap of paper off a pill bottle, is the match that lit the fuse on this entire chain of events. Had she laughed off his antic with the pill bottle, had she attempted to calm his frustration and anxiety over the issue with the 'date' on the bottle, this very unpleasant scenario would have never played out. Instead, she chose to escalate and fan the flames of a brain damaged, drug addicted, mentally ill patient.

This employee clearly lacked crisis intervention training, for if she had, she would have known to be calm, reassuring, helpful and supportive of my son as he began to exhibit signs of frustration and anxiety. Frankly, I have seen police officers with far less formal education respond to crisis situations far more effectively than this mental health professional did.

Do I 'blame' this nurse and her med tech for my son's terrible behavior? Absolutely not. She responded in the manner probably 99.9% of people would have responded. However, had she responded differently, chances are my son would presently be getting the help he so desperately wanted and needs, and our state could possibly save thousands and thousands of dollars on avoiding future hospitalizations, incarcerations, and interventions for my son, and hundreds of others caught in this 'Catch 5250' of our mental health system.

And what is this 'Catch 5250' phrase I have coined? It is the 'catch 22' of our mental health system. Even a willing patient (and most are not willing) can not get the help they need when they need it because they must conform to certain standards to be able to access that help, but they can not conform to those standards because of the nature of their illness.

A year ago, during another small window of opportunity that opened because my son was so so ill with bipolar and drug addiction that he was prostituting himself; so broken he was willing to get help with his illness, he reached out to a county mental health agency. They treated him for a while, but then refused treatment because he would not stop doing drugs. So what happened? He could no longer get his bipolar meds. And then what happens? He sinks further and further into addiction and mental illness without his meds. So a man arrives at the emergency room bleeding uncontrollably, but is refused admittance because they don't allow blood on their floor. The man begs for the medicine that will stop the bleeding, but they refuse to give it to him because he was operating the chainsaw that cut him after having a few beers, and drinking and cutting wood is not a safe combination.

Sound ridiculous? It is. But it is exactly what happened to my son on Aug. 19th.

My son is not a bad person. Yes, at times his behaviors are atrocious, and he knows it, and he hates his lack of control, impulsivity, and lack of a filter. He needs help. He wants help.

The very next day after this incident, he called me crying, asking me what can he do? Why does he do these things? Why does he fuck everything up?

All I could say was, "don't give up, please don't give up, we will keep trying".

My heart breaks for my son. My heart breaks for all our sick and disenfranchised. How many more times will opportunities arise in which they are willing to reach out for help and are refused before they decide to make the 'Great Escape': http://youtu.be/uSyf8fWqSPs

Sincerely,
PPGA
Provider Education, National Alliance on Mental Illness
Family to Family facilitator, National Alliance on Mental Illness

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 6:58 AM, August 23rd (Friday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Rollercoaster
Member
Member # 1298
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

This employee clearly lacked crisis intervention training, for if she had, she would have known to be calm, reassuring, helpful and supportive of my son as he began to exhibit signs of frustration and anxiety. Frankly, I have seen police officers with far less formal education respond to crisis situations far more effectively than this mental health professional did.

Absolutely!

I would be livid!

How much more can he take?!?! My prayers are with you and your son!


Me BS 55, WS 55
Reconciled

Posts: 4059 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: California
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

PPGA,

I'm so sorry. That is a very well written letter. I hope your son gets the help he needs. I buried my bipolar nephew last month...he was finally successful on his sixth attempt at the "Great Escape".


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Unfuckingbelievable.

Just absolutely atrocious.
Now you send them that extremely eloquent and thought provoking letter, and you send it to the health system their facility falls under, and you send it to their governing body, and you send it to the freaking paper if you have to.
They need to make this right.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44671 | Registered: Sep 2006
Missymomma
Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Wow, painpain. That is appalling! I would send this letter to the director of the facility. Do you have any friends that are attorneys? Sad to say but sometimes it takes legal representation to deal with something like this. Dealing with the mentally ill is a special skill, although it makes me really wonder about this facility that they would allow this.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I was just coming back to say this.. their director and their doctors need to see this. This was a major fuck up and for gods sake they deal with bipolar drug addicted patients. If she refuses admittance for something like that they'll want to know.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44671 | Registered: Sep 2006
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Wow.

Just wow.

An eloquent response to a horrific experience.

Over a damn piece of torn paper.

Simply appalling.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

That is unbelievable!! I hope she loses her job over this and they can make things right with your son. I understand the WAY he chose to express himself may be seen as unacceptable behavior, but I understand why he reacted the way he did.

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Oh no ((((ppga & DS))))

Pardon my French, but: WHAT A FUCKING MORON OF A NURSE!!!!!!!

Someone like that has NO BUSINESS working with PEOPLE period, much less people with severe mental health issues.

My heart is aching for you both.

Please send that letter to that fucking jerk asshole and every single person up the food chain.

I truly hope there is some way that he can get the help that he wants and needs.

Keep hanging in there.

((((ppga & DS))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I have tears in my eyes reading this. It is so wrong. I will remember you in my prayers.

Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

(((((Ppga)))))))

I think you need to send it to everyone up the chain of command, and then some.

I am so sorry you are not able to get the help you need for your DS. I hope this letter gets some resolution to the problem.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

Thank you all for your support.

My letter has already made it to the top of the food chain in just a matter of hours. It sure helps to know people.

We'll see how this pans out.

Let the beatings begin, lol!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

(((((ppga))))) Whatever it takes to get your boy the help he needs, I am fervently hoping it all falls into place ASAP.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

(((ppga)))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

PPG, my thoughts are with you and your son.

So, on this past Monday morning, after entering the facility, my son followed the admitting nurse into a room to go over his meds, and, according to what she later told me, (I was not in the room with them), when she told him that there was some sort of a problem with the date on one of his RX bottles, he reached over, took the pill bottle, tore off the date, and said, "there, now it's fixed".

This describes exactly what I would have done and I'm not bipolar, or addicted. In fact, it so accurately describes something I did while enduring chemo treatment, and was extremely fatigued and frustrated, that I let out a chuckle when I read it.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 349 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
yewtree
Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

It's too bad that the intake nurse has no sense of humor, and that she is so drunk with power that she felt the need to be such a jerk.
I hope your son made it home OK, and that you get positive results from your letter.
You are an amazing Mom. I hope he gets the help he needs.
(((PPGA and son)))


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4661 | Registered: Oct 2007
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

This describes exactly what I would have done and I'm not bipolar, or addicted. In fact, it so accurately describes something I did while enduring chemo treatment, and was extremely fatigued and frustrated, that I let out a chuckle when I read it.
Precisely! Sounds like something I would have done also. And, he even did it in a 'joking' way, which makes all this even more disturbing.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

I hope that heads roll and your son gets in asap.

When he is better (and we'll be positive on that, okay)then you can discuss this incident.

He will no doubt be very aware that his behaviours through these last years were inappropriate....BUT that it was not his fault.

But, do let him know that ripping off that pill bottle label was a NON-issue. It actually was a little funny. Maybe in his mind he was trying to feel normal and add a bit of humour into what was a monumental moment, he was ready and willing for help. He should not have to shoulder this, he did nothing really wrong at all.

Of course afterwards it went downhill very fast....but again it was his ILLNESS, not his fault.

I wait anxiously to hear that he has been taken in and is being helped.


Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

(((PPGA)))

I am just stunned... that is unbelievable!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
JanetS
Member
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, August 24th (Saturday)

If their response takes too long, is inadequate, or non-existent, I would meet with a lawyer and let them know you are meeting with a lawyer. Might "encourage" them to do it right.

Posts: 2574 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

(((((ppga)))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7395 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

(((((PPGA))))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

((( ppga)))

Great letter! Keep at it! Sending strength (to one of the strongest people I know).


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 26th (Monday)

He called today. He wants help.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, August 26th (Monday)

What are you going to do?


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I told him to stay strong...to call his counselor at Voc Rehab and beg for another chance, to attend an AA or NA meeting tonight, to call the XXX Center (XXX County's drug and alcohol agency) and make an appt, etc... Whether or not he will actually do any of these things, I have no idea. I also suggested he call XXX, (a NAMI member, former meth addict, that has been very supportive of him).

He is going to my daughters house to mow her grass, so he is trying to do something.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, August 26th (Monday)

PPGA --

I bet it doesn't feel like it right now but you did just help him. You gave him ways to help himself. ((PPGA))

I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel over the whole thing. More prayers for all of you.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, August 26th (Monday)

Ditto to what hexed just said. You handled that so well.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 26th (Monday)

PPGA, I so feel your pain. I have a son who has never given me a moment's worry but if he DID, I have to say, I think my first impulse would be to help. I love him as you love the boy you gave birth to. That you are holding firm to his not coming home must absolutely kill you. I am so sad for you. And so proud of you. It's in his best interests, you know that, right? It just f'ing sucks in the meantime.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:59 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I have no words. Just ((((((((((ppga))))))))

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

You're still there for him by being his anchor. One day or hour at a time. Hugs and love.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)

Yesterday was really stressful for me.

DS came by to borrow some tools, (he is still attempting to do yard work for people), and he told me that after he contacted his local Rehab counselor and begged for another chance, she said she wants him to see his doc, have his meds 'evaluated', and be med-compliant for A MONTH before they will try to get him back into another rehab.

His docs office can not get him in for another week, so, even if all that goes as planned, this means he will be waiting another 5 WEEKS at least. This is so so wrong. He looked so hopeless.

Even if he tries, he may not be med compliant, (and the problem isn't even that he refuses to take meds, it is more a matter that he doesn't take them consistantly because he is so compromised he forgets).

I would think the responsible decision would be for him to go immediately into rehab where they could supervise the taking of the meds, and work on the substance abuse AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!

At this point, I really believe the system is harming him far more than it is helping him. And the damned irony of it all, is that if he were to commit a crime, he would be swept up into the system within minutes, without all this ridiculous red tape!

After DS got the tools from the house, I had to leave him sitting in my driveway while I went to a doctors appt of my own, where I was told that my resting heart rate was 120. Doc asked what was going on. I just said, "don't even get me started".

While driving back home, I was mentally preparing myself for pulling into my drive, and finding DS hanging from a tree or something. This is no way for any of us to live.

I had a support group participant last Fall that has dealt with her son's illness by renting him an apartment, and just letting him sit there all day and smoke pot. Ya know, she might be on to something there.

Or hey, I know, maybe I should just rent myself an apt and smoke pot all day? 😎


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))

I'm so sorry, this is such a stressful situation for your family.

I agree it would make sense for him to be admitted and try to take care of all of the problems at the same time, but it doesn't seem realistic to expect that to happen (unfortunately).

As for med compliance - can you get him an alarm that will remind him when he needs to take something? Maybe he can get used to some kind of system like that where there is a reminder can help him keep better track?

Sending more strength and mojo your way.

((((ppga))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

Oh gosh ppa... I feel your frustration. Sometimes the system really IS whacked. I don't understand the policies sometimes. DeadMum has a great suggestion there for a reminder for meds.

Ugh, I know there is no easy answer. ((((hugs))))))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25534 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

Has anything come of your letter?


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
JustDone
Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

((((PPGA))))


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2786 | Registered: Feb 2006
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

Here is one example of a pill alarm:

http://www.amazon.com/pill-Medication-Reminder-Organizer-Combination/dp/B00020BKE8

or google epill, it's a company that has several possible solutions (pager-type alarm, watch, etc).


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

(((((ppga)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

(((ppga))) (((ds)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

((((ppga))))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
2oldforthis
Member
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

(PPGA) I can't even imagine how painful this is for you and your family.

Hugs.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.


Posts: 1645 | Registered: Jun 2008
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

((((((PPGA))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

I am in complete despair now.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Talk to us, hon.

What's going on???

((((ppga))))


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

(((ppga)))

What's going on now?


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Just complete and utter frustration. Feeling fucking hatred for everything. Can't get any fucking help for my son even though I am now willing to PAY for it. But, alas, there is nowhere for him to go immediately. NO fucking where.

And the fucking country wonders why Sandy Hooks happen.

What a fucking joke.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 3:36 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

But a hummingbird just came to my feeder, so I have decided that's a sign of an angel hovering nearby to help us.

Can you tell I'm drunk?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:00 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

I'm sure there are angels watching over you!!

I don't know, pain... At this point, I might be tempted to let him get wasted and take him to the ER. They have to take him THEN, right??


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

I don't know, pain... At this point, I might be tempted to let him get wasted and take him to the ER. They have to take him THEN, right??
Sadly, that is usually what it takes. But, I have a friend in the ER, and the wait there for a bed in a psychiatric unit is 4 days right now.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

I don't understand why there's a problem with 'the system' understanding the urgency of the matter. He's CLEARLY a danger to himself and others. He has a history of being a danger to himself, which resulted in a traumatic brain injury, which exacerbated his issues with being a danger to himself and others.

It seems pretty simple to me.

I feel your frustration, (((pain))).


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
CheaterMagnet
Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

((((((PPGA))))))

I am holding you and your dear son into the light. I wish there was something concrete I could do for him and for you.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Have you tried this one Pain?

http://www.brylin.com/

They have (from what I've been told from family in the field) an excellent dual diagnosis program. They are private though, so I don't know what your insurance would cover or not. Just a thought

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:44 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44671 | Registered: Sep 2006
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 11th (Friday)

At the ER trying to get my son admitted. He is suicidal.

He came willingly this time, thank God. No police, no hand cuffs and shackles, so I'm pretty calm. Just very lonely, as my H left this morning for Colorado.

I'm just so sad.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
authenticnow
Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, October 11th (Friday)

(((((((PPGA))))))))

Prayers for your son.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37563 | Registered: Sep 2007
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, October 11th (Friday)

Thanks AN


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, October 11th (Friday)

(((PPGA)))

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, October 11th (Friday)

I'm thinking of you PPGA.
(((hugs)))


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, October 11th (Friday)

((((PPGA and Son))))

Posts: 7009 | Registered: Dec 2010
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, October 11th (Friday)

(((((ppga & son))))) Holding you both, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, October 11th (Friday)

(((ppga & son)))

Keeping both of you in my thoughts and prayers.


Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
willow60
Member
Member # 17243
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, October 11th (Friday)

((((ppga and son))))

Thoughts and prayers for both of you.


Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead....Adele

Posts: 960 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Upstate NY
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, October 11th (Friday)

PPGA, I wish you and your son strength.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7207 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

((((ppga & DS))))

Keeping you both in my thoughts. Hang in there, I hope he will get the help that he needs.

((((ppga & DS))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
woundedby2
Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:39 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

(((ppga)))Sending up a prayer for you and your son right now.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7813 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

(((((ppga)))))

So sorry. Please keep us posted.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21049 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

(((ppga))) & (((son)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

(((ppga & son)))

I am praying for you


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1135 | Registered: Jul 2012
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

(((ppga and son)))
Sending you strength.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3915 | Registered: Dec 2011
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

Praying for you guys. Update when you can.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2180 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

Praying for you both.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

We waited 6 hrs in the ER for him to be seen by psych, then he was told that the wait for Institute of Psychiatry was 4 days. So that meant he would have to wait on the ER for 4 days. He then lied and told them he was not suicidal so he could leave. Once again, total system FAIL.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

OMG!!! NO!!!!

(((PPGA)))


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

ppga - I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through. For what little good it does, please know that I am holding you and your son in my thoughts at all times. ((((((hugs))))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

You're in the lowcountry, right? Can you take him to Charlotte?

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
Crushed1
Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, October 13th (Sunday)

((((PPGA,son,family))))


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9710 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, October 14th (Monday)

He is home with me now. I simply could not put him back on the street in his condition.

So, the cycle begins again.

I just saw this. It is heartbreaking, and so so similar to our experience with the mental health system. A must read for everyone. God rest his tormented soul.


Subject: 'MasterChef's' Josh Marks loses 'battle of his life,' commits suicide - CNN.com

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/13/showbiz/masterchef-joshua-marks-suicide/index.html?hpt=hp_t3


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
MissesJai
Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, October 14th (Monday)

OMG ppga (((ppga))) - I don't have words, just hugs. I'm so sorry.


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5894 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
sunandmoon
Member
Member # 10180
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, October 14th (Monday)

(((ppga)))

Continued prayers for you and your family. The cycle is brutal and the system broken.

with wished for a better tomorrow-

sunandmoon


Posts: 1635 | Registered: Mar 2006
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, October 14th (Monday)

I saw that, ppga.

Seriously, can you get your son to NC, where he has a better chance of being admitted right away?? If he needs to stay in state, how about the upstate?


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 14th (Monday)

((((((PPGA)))))))) ((((((((DS))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, October 15th (Tuesday)


Seriously, can you get your son to NC, where he has a better chance of being admitted right away?? If he needs to stay in state, how about the upstate?

ThoughtIknewya,
The problem is that he will not cooperate. It is sooooo seldom that very small windows of opportunities open up where he is willing to get help. And if not acted on immediately, it is gone like a puff of smoke.
I tried to get him to go to a different hospital the next day, and he would not go.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, October 15th (Tuesday)

((((ppga))))

Sending you tons of strength, I am so sorry that you are (still) having to deal with all of this.

I hope the next window of opportunity comes quickly and that the help that he needs will be available. It's just UNbelievable that the system is so fucked up.

((((ppga & DS))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2583 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
brokenpromise
Member
Member # 28859
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

So very sorry PPGA

It is a sad and sorry system when sometimes the only means of getting help is incarceration of some kind.

ER 's so often give them a 'happy ' shot, call them 'stabilized' and they are out in a matter of hours. HIPPA laws prevent any dialog with MDs /psychs/counselors. It is wrong, wrong, wrong.

You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers


BW- Me 60 FWS - 65
M 43 years
DD June 9, 2010
On and off LTA with dept secretary
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal Matt 6:20

Posts: 414 | Registered: Jun 2010
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

(((Ppga))))


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)

(((Ppga & DS)))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

Ppga how is your son?


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, October 19th (Saturday)

(((ppga)))

I just don't understand how someone with HIS history gets turned away. I don't understand why anyone would take the risk of him doing something to harm himself again. I just don't understand- and I know it must be so frustrating and scary for you.


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Thanks everyone. I found a place in Georgia that I am pretty sure will take him with little to no wait time. However, now he is unwilling to go.

I haven't given up. The next window of opportunity that opens, I will jump on this place.

He has been paranoid, confused, and very depressed, so I am back again to thinking he is misdiagnosed as bipolar, but actually schizophrenic or schizoaffective.

I am taking care of myself, and trying to stay calm. H will be out of town for another week yet, but I am managing okay on my own. I do have support from other family members so I'm not totally alone in this.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

((((ppga)))) I am so fervently hoping there's a window right around the corner. Sending you love, strength, comfort, and a metric ton of mojo.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Thanks NIK.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

(((Ppga & son)))

Posts: 35112 | Registered: Mar 2011
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

(((ppga)))

I thought schizophrenia, too, but a lot of the drugs he's been doing will also mimic that. You won't be able to tell what's going on until he gets clean from drugs. If he IS schizophrenic, then the change in meds will certainly help him.

Sending prayers for your family and I hope he gets ready soon.


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

PPGA, please stay in contact with that GA facility so that there won't be another "oh, sorry. No room" message if/when that window opens again..... I *SO* hope that your son can become a 'success' story.

I have a suggestion that you may find totally *out there*....but....have you considered contacting the Dr. Phil show? You know that he does interventions, right? I would be willing to join in a *save PPGA's son* crusade if it were made available.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

^^^ Or Dr. Drew. You know we'll support you, no matter what!

Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I appreciate the sentiments, but I would never put my son in the public eye.

I'm pretty sure the reason Joshua Marks suicided was because he could not cope with his schizophrenia DX.

My son is also terrified of a schizophrenia DX.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ThoughtIKnewYa
Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

He doesn't have to be in the public eye. It's always his choice.

I know he's probably terrified of the DX, but the way he's living NOW is far worse than the way he'd be living if properly diagnosed and treated.


Posts: 11663 | Registered: Mar 2008
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

PPGA... sending many healing thoughts of strength and hope to you, your husband, your son, and the rest of your family as well. I wish I had some advice to offer you, but I don't.

Does your son have any peers, friends, or any type of support group that he can turn to? Anyone he can talk to and anchor himself with?

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way...


Posts: 7009 | Registered: Dec 2010
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

PPGA, I say this with all of the gentleness in my heart that I have.....do you not believe that if your son dies on the street that it will not be broadcast to the *public eye* on the 10pm news?

You have done EVERYTHING in your power to help him. Everything. If your son is *held up* in the public eye by some type of program....BUT he receives the help that he needs....would you not consider the cost *worth it*?

Nevertheless, and whatever your proclivity is, please know that I am rooting for both of you and am praying for a positive outcome. I don't have tons of strength to share with you, but whatever I have....you are welcome to *take some*. I am more than happy to give up my strength to a mom/son in need than a jerky stbx. YOU are way more deserving of it......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8001 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

I have faith that there will be another window of opportunity. Strength and much love,

Rain


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1294 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
sisoon
Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

Still hoping for a good outcome - (((ppga & family)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10057 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

((PPGA))

just lots of hugs for you and your whole family


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, October 21st (Monday)

PPGA, I've been keeping up with your story. I'm sorry you and your family is struggling through this.

While I've been reading a thought came to mind. Can you have power of attorney (or something to like that) over him? To be able to make decisions for him and get him into a place somewhere? I know you said there's a small window of opportunity where he cooperates maybe that could be a solution? Since he's "not of sound mind" he needs someone to make the necessary decisions for him.

I don't know. It was just a thought.

Sending (((HUGS))) and strength to you and your family.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, October 21st (Monday)

Call Dr. Phil.


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21096 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Topic Posts: 243