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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Update to the Ex and the Summons
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I had filed a complaint for contempt covering non-payment of child support, non-payment of shared expenses (mostly medical) and him not being compliant with showing a paystub with a YTD figure on it. I suspect he is withholding alimony payments, but since I cannot prove it without the pay stubs, I can only claim that he is not compliant in showing the pay stubs.

He was served May 23. He is leaving Saturday for a vacation in Bermuda. Here is is response. Note the bullying:

This email is in response to the summons that I received (and that CatKid2 had the misfortune to read).

1. Regarding support. When I was unemployed, I easily could have sought modification. According to my lawyer, recent case law suggests that I would have had a good chance of being successful. This would have resulted in significant reduction in support. When I would have gotten a job, you would of course sought modification again. More money to the lawyers. I did not do this because I didn’t want to spend money on an attorney and I didn’t think it was the right thing to do.

[Actually, he pays a lot less in support than he should, given his income, and unemployment and his severance package would have been taken into consideration. Therefore, his issue for not seeking a modification, and he still owes the money]

2. Attached is a spreadsheet that represents what I have been paying for cell bills for both girls. The agreement requires that you pay 40% while they’re both in undergrad. It has been years since you’ve paid anything – I estimated August 2010. Their average monthly bill has been $180 and so I just used that round number. And you can’t blame me for not sending you bills. The agreement says nothing about who’s to provide bills, etc. This information is easily available online. Or you could have asked me. You have chosen not to pay or even inquire about their cell phone costs. So you owe me this money and technically are also in contempt of the agreement by not having paid it.

[Don't worry--I'm not paying anything without a real receipt. And I am *not* going on line to check his bills--there are legal reasons that I don't want to do this. Oh, and I have to remind him to send me a receipt? I was fired from that job a long time ago.]

3. This sheet also shows money I have sent them for education. According to the agreement, you owe 40% of this. It is money they have asked me for from time to time to cover school expenses. There is a gap in 2011 because I have requested statements from the bank but don’t yet have them. Once I do I am sure they will add to the total.

[And I am supposed to believe that these are school expenses? When I send the kids money on request or just because, it is because I want to. When I buy books or dorm decor or whatever for them that is covered by the agreement, I send him a receipt. He is smoking crack here to think I will fall for this one.]

As you can see, this more than offsets what you claim I “owe you” for support. I also understand you’ve added money you spent for some dental work. In any case, if we go to court I will show that you have also been in contempt of the agreement by not paying your share of these expenses.

[The judge is not going to buy this--his decision not to send me anything for years, and then pulling numbers out of his ass is really impressive.]

I have shown that you owe me at least as much as the amount you’re wanting to dispute in court. To me this makes it even. So I am asking you to drop this immediately. Should you choose however not to do this, here’s what I will do:

1. I currently pay $710/month for Catkid1’s living expenses. I will cease doing that immediately starting July 1. She will have to find the money somewhere else.


2. I will stop paying their cell bills. It will be up to you and them to work out any arrangements to keep their payments current. I can give you logins to the website.

I’m sorry but I have no other choice here. I need your decision by the weekend.

[When pigs fly.]

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Fuck. That. Guy.

That is all.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4564 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

CRICKETS!

I would see him in court. When he brings this "I tried to communicate with her to no avail" whine out I would (if the judge doesn't beat you to it) calmly state that you do not respond to bullying and that there was nothing in the DEMAND that would cancel the summons anyway!!!

He makes my head hurt.

and oh, yeah... FTG


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5618 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'm sorry but I was laughing!! What an ignorant clueless ass!! Keep moving forward Catwoman!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Oct 2012
WakingFromADream
Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Unbelievable. He sure knows how to push people away.

FTG.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Cat did you marry my XH's brother?

I can tell you from experience... that all those old bills will be ignored by the court. Especially if he didn't send the reciepts. XH did not send receipts and I did. The ones I sent were sent back with a Return to Sender stamp on them. I brought it to court... it was dismissed in family court. BUT when he went to backruptcy court... I got it paid.

Good luck... he is delusional...

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4867 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

He never sent any receipts, and when we were in court in 2010 and 2012, it was noted in my financial statements that I was responsible for cell phone expenses (a portion) but that I had not received any bills since late 2010. So we have it documented. He never sent anything.

He also conveniently omitted the issue with the paystubs. The court is going to notice that.

He's in deep shit, but with his head so firmly planted up his ass, he is so accustomed to the smell that he doesn't notice.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I cannot wait until the update post comes...

But I am a spiteful bitch like that! I have a reference to prove it.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5618 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

So what I read was
"Blah blah blah... if you don't back off, I'll punish the kids."

Um, yeah. That should go over well. He's a world class dick.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24462 | Registered: Aug 2011
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I just love the string of "expenses" with no backup. Seriously, he just put a bunch of numbers on a spreadsheet and expects me to believe him. Fortunately, I always send him a itemized bill, cash register receipt or other third party documentation.

I love the part about "you can't blame me for not sending bills." The account is in his name. Where else would I get them?

I cannot be held in contempt of the agreement when I have not received any proof of expenses owed.

Unfortunately, he takes the NPD view of "if I say it, it must be true." That doesn't quite work in a court of law. And even if he gave me the bill stubs today, I would not technically be in contempt until 30 days had passed, which is considerably after our hearing date in early July.

I think he needs to demand a refund from Cracker Jack, seeing,that the Law Degree prize he got isn't worth a hill of beans.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
I think I can
Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Every time he goes to court with you, he gets his ass handed to him on a platter. It's amazing how much he doesn't learn.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8793 | Registered: Jan 2008
TrustNoOne
Member
Member # 16591
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

I'd pay money to be present in court for this clown show.


Posts: 1321 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: SoCal
confused girl
Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

He is a special kind of stupid.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1367 | Registered: May 2006
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

Wow Cat, what is he smoking?

I have numbers I wrote down and put in columns and...

"Blah blah blah... if you don't back off, I'll punish the kids."

^^^ This really popped out at me too!

F.T.G. but good!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, June 19th (Wednesday)

He is a special kind of stupid


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1983 | Registered: Jan 2012
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

The fact that he has no issue hurting his child to bully me into giving into him shows he is a special kind of soul-less. His kids are just pawns to him, not separate beings.

I cannot wait to hear what my attorney makes of this. Ad it isn't his fault he hasn't sent me the bills? Priceless. Cannot wait to hear how Her Honor deals with this.

Stay tuned and pass the popcorn.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
amitheow
Member
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

so will he really cancel their bills and not pay the 700 beginning July 1?


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5082 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yes, he will. I have been down this road with him before.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Oh My God.

Wow. These guys are un-effing-believable.

I jsut got a very similar email from my NPD ex.

FTG alright, FTG.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2572 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Dear Cat,

According to my calculations you owe me $560,395,850,204,846.32, here is the spreadsheet with the proof:

Assorted expenses...... 560,395,850,204,846.32

Pay up.

What an asshole, FTG!!!


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2538 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

DMW--that is pretty much what he did. No independent third party info like register receipts, e-mail confirms of Internet orders . . . Nada.

And he thinks I am going to accept that? He is nuts.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Hey Cat? Are you going to pay DMW?????


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5618 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

You should let your daughters know that he is going to stop paying if he doesn't get his way.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7652 | Registered: Aug 2005
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Receipts?! Who needs receipts when your word is a good as gold. It's not like he is the kind of guy to lie, deceive, betray...oh wait....

What an idiot.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
WarehouseGuy
Member
Member # 6037
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, June 21st (Friday)


I would love to be in the court when he tries to explain this bullshit to the judge.

whg


If you see your ex with someone else--don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: Michigan
amitheow
Member
Member # 4691
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, June 21st (Friday)

I feel so bad because I know when he follows through your kids are going to hit the roof and blame you.

Sometims I think my H and I should have kids and then I read stuff like this and I remember how my siblings treat my parents and I think um .... I dunno.

I am praying for you Cat. He is crazy!


Old Timer, Just here to help
My screen name is: Am I The Ow? - Not Ami the OW.

Because in my situation I didn't know if I was the OW at first or if I was being cheated on. Found I was being cheated on.


Posts: 5082 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Texas
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, June 21st (Friday)

I know and I feel badly for the kids. But if I don't erect and maintain firm boundaries with him, it only escalates. If I give in (which I have no intention of doing), it will continue. If I don't, it will still continue, but at least I will have it on record.

I know he is hiding money.

And the spreadsheet he sent--just a bunch of numbers. No back up documentation such as a bill statement or a cash register receipt. This is why I cannot accept any of this (and the courts will back me up).

My attorney wants us to strategize next week and she said he can set any deadline he wants, but I don't have to adhere to it.

I hate this stuff. It is exhausting.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Now he's pissing his britches because he missed the part about the pay stubs and I am not going to drop the action (duh) until I have everything in my hands. And seeing as how he is leaving for Bermuda tomorrow, this is rich. I know I will pay for it in some way, but right now, I am having an awful lot of fun watching him scramble.

I cannot wait to see what the judge makes of all of this.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Hey asshole --

((((Cat))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2538 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Catwoman
Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, June 21st (Friday)

So now it is time to go dark. I got a nice weekend with the main man coming up, so I don't have time for reindeer games.

Like I said, I know I will pay for it somehow, but it is fun right now.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29543 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 30