User Topic: So completely paranoid now!
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

I just posted a status on facebook asking for recommendations for swim lessons for my daughter, and a friend posted back something about how she had a story for me and she'll PM me after work.

OK, so OBVIOUSLY this is going to be a story about swim lessons, I'm sure. Right? But immediately my mind went to, oh God, what if she works with one of the women my husband was talking to last year, or she heard something, or she saw him doing something (SHE HAS NEVER EVEN MET HIM, and she lived in another state last year when all the nonsense was happening!)

So dumb. Really really dumb. For real. It's about SWIM LESSONS I'm sure.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6810 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I can so relate to this. When a friend, especially a friend who knows about the A, tells me that they have something to tell me but is unable to talk/text at that moment, my mind immediately goes back to WH's A. You are doing the right thing by mentally talking yourself through this. It's perfectly normal for your mind to swing back to difficult memories, just focus on getting through this. As time passes, I believe this will pass. At least, that is what I am telling myself.

BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 387 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

My mind instantly goes to the A too. Unforeseen consequences, I guess.
It probably is about swim lessons.

D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

The other day, a friend tagged me in a fb post saying 'funny story music?I got one'. When I asked her what, her response was 'you sure? It's about your H?' This friend knows, and she has watched me through the heartbreak, so I KNOW she wouldn't think anything infidelity related was even remotely funny to me, but I still went there. Switched from fb to text so that it wouldn't be public. Turns out, it was about a wardrobe malfunction at the swimming pool in HS (yes, I live in one of those everything haunts you for life small towns). Still. I feel your pain.

Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yes, it is about swim lessons.

But I hear you. My spouse just came back from a weekend fishing with his old HS buddies. He goes, "get this! We were at the bar and Mike was sitting next to me and he whispered, "Eric is cheating." When my husband told me this I gasped! And almost passed out. And felt that horrible pit in my stomach. And then he continued, "at liars dice. Who cheats on their best friends at liars dice???!!"

Geezus. About killed me.

Him WH
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Thank you guys for the replies - it's good to know I'm not the only one! It's just a brief flurry and it's over in a few minutes - but for that small amount of time, the Crazy takes over.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6810 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Oh yeah. Totally about a swim coach she had a bad experience with. Whew.

We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6810 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
I think I can
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Paranoids are afraid of imaginary things. You are afraid if a very real thing that happened quite recently. Cut yourself some slack!

I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8828 | Registered: Jan 2008
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Every time my husband gets a call or text, makes a call or text, or even looks at his phone --- and his infidelity wasn't with his phone.

Every time he doesn't answer his phone at work when I call.

Everytime he GIVES ME a password (that I have forgotten) I imagine that he must have another secret account.

Every time he says "Have a good time" if I go out with my sister, because he must have plans of his own.

All this and more. AND my husband has been totally incapacitated for 6 months with an injury and cannot go anywhere without me driving him.

I don't see how it will ever go away.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
Topic Posts: 9