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Reconciliation
User Topic: Poly tonight - wish us luck :-(
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Having WH take a poly tonight at 6:30. Not suspecting anything new, just looking for some reassurance I guess. I know it's not a silver bullet but with years of mind games from him, I am not so sure I trust my brain some days :-(


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck.

WH said he would take one..but has made no effort to do so.

I hope you get the reassurance you're looking for.


((((sodamnlost))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7693 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck, both of you.

We did this. it did help, both of us.


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3631 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

*fingers crossed* for no parking lot confessons and a good result!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

((HUGS)) and good luck tonight. I know it's not going to be easy.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

He feels like crap because he had made choices that have us here, his wife asking for a poly. He is scared it won't help me.

I feel guilty almost. I *KNOW* I shouldn't but I do. I don't think he is still lying (most days) but on those days I do - yeah - the crazy takes over and hopefully this will help. I am *TERRIFIED* that he is still lying to me :-( I sooooo hope the poly gives me some security. I am scared of what I will have to do if he *IS* still lying. My belly is in knots. My head hurts. I want to vomit. My chest has an elephant on it. I want it over and done already.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
OptimisticWife
Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

(((sodamnlost)))

I hope you feel much better once you have the results. Don't feel guilty. Good on you for looking out for yourself. I think it's good that your WH is doing this in hopes of helping your healing. It's a great step for you both. I wish you both the best. Good luck.


Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
1Faith
Member
Member # 38975
Wink  Posted: 5:35 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck!! It will hopefully be another reassurance for you so you can move forward. Sending hugs.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1205 | Registered: Apr 2013
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

HE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-) YAY!!


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

yay! yay! yay!

Good job, BOTH of you, boundaries and promises are both important to keep - and ya both did your part!


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3631 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yaaaaay!!! I'm so glad. Hopefully this is a huge load off for both of you!!


(((sdl)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17850 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good for you both!!!!!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1763 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
LivinginLimbo
Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I hope this helps you to move on.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1049 | Registered: Mar 2012
Missymomma
Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Congratulations! Hope it gives you some peace.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
PinkJeepLady
Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

That's awesome, I bet this is a huge relief for both of you. What a positive step for R!
Thanks for sharing your news! Have a wonderful evening!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 490 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yay! I love hearing positive things.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 20th (Thursday)


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I''m so happy for you!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4936 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
OptimisticWife
Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Fantastic!!! All the best to you both

Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Awesome!!!!


BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2633 | Registered: Aug 2012
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Terrific update!

Posts: 35915 | Registered: Mar 2011
Spelljean
Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

So glad!! This will help you move to the next phase of R.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Congrats!

However, I am curious. What questions were asked?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

What questions were asked?

Since he lied to me for MONTHS after Dday, I had some issues I just didn't believe his story on. That drove most of the questions.

~Are AP and I the only ones you have had a sexual relationship with since we moved in together? Answer - yes)

~Have you had contact with AP since dday, other than the texts he showed me immediately? (answer - no)

~Have you met or tried to meet any women since Dday? (answer - no)

~Did you meet with AP any times other than the 3 I know about? (answer - no)

Not exactly how it was worded but that's the basics.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Wow! That's fantastic. I am so happy for you! This should go a long way towards healing.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 25