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Reconciliation
User Topic: Poly tonight - wish us luck :-(
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Having WH take a poly tonight at 6:30. Not suspecting anything new, just looking for some reassurance I guess. I know it's not a silver bullet but with years of mind games from him, I am not so sure I trust my brain some days :-(


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck.

WH said he would take one..but has made no effort to do so.

I hope you get the reassurance you're looking for.


((((sodamnlost))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7406 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck, both of you.

We did this. it did help, both of us.


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3618 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

*fingers crossed* for no parking lot confessons and a good result!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6442 | Registered: Jan 2011
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

((HUGS)) and good luck tonight. I know it's not going to be easy.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6731 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

He feels like crap because he had made choices that have us here, his wife asking for a poly. He is scared it won't help me.

I feel guilty almost. I *KNOW* I shouldn't but I do. I don't think he is still lying (most days) but on those days I do - yeah - the crazy takes over and hopefully this will help. I am *TERRIFIED* that he is still lying to me :-( I sooooo hope the poly gives me some security. I am scared of what I will have to do if he *IS* still lying. My belly is in knots. My head hurts. I want to vomit. My chest has an elephant on it. I want it over and done already.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
OptimisticWife
Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

(((sodamnlost)))

I hope you feel much better once you have the results. Don't feel guilty. Good on you for looking out for yourself. I think it's good that your WH is doing this in hopes of helping your healing. It's a great step for you both. I wish you both the best. Good luck.


Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
1Faith
Member
Member # 38975
Wink  Posted: 5:35 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good luck!! It will hopefully be another reassurance for you so you can move forward. Sending hugs.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2013
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

HE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-) YAY!!


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
JustWow
Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

yay! yay! yay!

Good job, BOTH of you, boundaries and promises are both important to keep - and ya both did your part!


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3618 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yaaaaay!!! I'm so glad. Hopefully this is a huge load off for both of you!!


(((sdl)))


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17307 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
catlover50
Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Good for you both!!!!!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
LivinginLimbo
Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I hope this helps you to move on.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Mar 2012
Missymomma
Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Congratulations! Hope it gives you some peace.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
PinkJeepLady
Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

That's awesome, I bet this is a huge relief for both of you. What a positive step for R!
Thanks for sharing your news! Have a wonderful evening!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
SoVerySadNow
Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Yay! I love hearing positive things.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, June 20th (Thursday)


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5648 | Registered: Aug 2007
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I''m so happy for you!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4804 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
OptimisticWife
Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Fantastic!!! All the best to you both

Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
AFrayedKnot
Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Awesome!!!!


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2584 | Registered: Aug 2012
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, June 21st (Friday)

Terrific update!

Posts: 35152 | Registered: Mar 2011
Spelljean
Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

So glad!! This will help you move to the next phase of R.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Congrats!

However, I am curious. What questions were asked?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
sodamnlost
Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

What questions were asked?

Since he lied to me for MONTHS after Dday, I had some issues I just didn't believe his story on. That drove most of the questions.

~Are AP and I the only ones you have had a sexual relationship with since we moved in together? Answer - yes)

~Have you had contact with AP since dday, other than the texts he showed me immediately? (answer - no)

~Have you met or tried to meet any women since Dday? (answer - no)

~Did you meet with AP any times other than the 3 I know about? (answer - no)

Not exactly how it was worded but that's the basics.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 22nd (Saturday)

Wow! That's fantastic. I am so happy for you! This should go a long way towards healing.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 25