User Topic: Crazy OW
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

On Tuesday night, WH and I finally spoke for the first time since Dday about a month and a half ago. He had filed a bogus restraining order against me to get me out of the house, so I kept my distance, filed for D and went about my life. The hearing was supposed to be yesterday, but he dropped it because he could have gotten into a lot of trouble (he's a lawyer) for filing a false lawsuit (I have evidence to prove it was a lie).

He had a moment of clarity the night before the hearing and came to my room crying and apologizing for everything. I felt he was sincere, but it didn't change anything for me as far as moving forward with the D.

He also told me that he broke it off with OW that day by email. He said that she was volatile and very mean spirited. He said seeing her meanness opened his eyes to the effect of his own behavior. She even admitted to him that she's broken up 4 marriages before ours.

So last night someone started calling our house non stop (we don't usually answer it). About 15 minutes later, someone started frantically buzzing our security gate buzzer. He told me not to answer it and said she had been blowing up his phone and emails all day.

After about 10 minutes of buzzing, I answered the door buzzer, but she didn't say anything. Our phone started ringing again, so I picked it up and calmly addressed her as Glenn Close and told her never to call again. It stopped for an hour, then started ringing again until he finally unplugged it.

He said she's very volatile, but that she'll move on to someone else right away. He said she was pushing hard to move in to our house and was excited about the hearing before he dropped it.

Does anyone know anything about people who do this kind of behavior? If it's her pattern, will she move on right away?

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 413 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Can you get a restraining order against her??

Posts: 3423 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Document and consult a lawyer.

He doesn't know she'll move on. She moved on after the other As because she got them to leave. Him staying might be a challenge to her.

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11235 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 38975
Angry  Posted: 12:25 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Restraining order.

Who knows how stable this lady is. Well, we know not very if she's broken up 4 other marriages. Wow...that is a lot to be proud of.

Protect yourself and your family. Glenn Close she could be.

Are you still planning on the D?

Good luck. Hope you keep moving forward.

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1219 | Registered: Apr 2013
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Since you have told her to leave you alone, you can file harassment charges. I am a member of a mom's group in my town and the police here talked to us about how seriously they take any alleged harassment. If you can pull up phone records and video from the gate you'd have more than enough proof. To me, that has more teeth than a restraining order.

Posts: 1114 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 39058
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Certainly in the UK you would be able to go to the Police with this if you have clearly stated you want no contact. Harassment is generally taken very seriously here. You do need to make sure you are safe.

I do have a similar situation with the OW my WH got involved with - she pushed and prodded via email, text, FB (creating other profiles and trying to get contact) and through guessing our physical address.

Finally she did give up. We have no idea what her situation is but did consult solicitors in the first instance. I'd do the same if I were you.

Take care.

Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Ok, wow. Thank you for the replies and yikes.

I don't know much about restraining orders, but for some reason thought that there had to be a period of harassment and a lot of threats before they would give one.

Yes, definitely moving forward with the D. It was nice that he had a moment of clarity, but I don't trust it will continue.

I felt kind of helpless and trapped, and it never occurred to me that she might even look at it as a challenge, yeeks. He was really freaked, which leads me to wonder if there's more stuff he wasn't telling me. Couldn't even take the poor dog out to leave her puppies at the park.

Just sent an email to my L to let her know.

Thank you again for the advice. This kind of person is really foreign to me.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 413 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I just remembered, he said that he tried to break it off with her once before and she wouldn't let him. Ugh. I need to not keep remembering things today.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 413 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
Faithful w/Love
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

Wow, she is crazy. I will never understand how the wh's fall for these woman.

BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"

Posts: 2804 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

I'm rather suspicious that your husband - a lawyer - had a 'moment of clarity' on conveniently enough, the night before a legal proceeding.

I'm hearing huge buzzers going off and red flags popping up everywhere. I think his real goal is to protect his assets and reputation.

I'd take all his sweet talk with a HUGE grain of salt.

Good luck to you.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1836 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, June 20th (Thursday)

That gate buzzer starts call 911 immediately. Look at filing charges for harassment too. Call your home phone provider and look at putting a trace on your line too.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
Topic Posts: 11