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User Topic: Vent ! OW out for ice cream w mutual friends
LadyYoga
Member
Member # 28611
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I know time has passed and the friends don't even think about it anymore but I HATE that she has any friends, let alone the same friends!!! God I hate this place!


BS (me) 39
WH 50
DD,DS,DS
D-day 3/11/10 (3 month EA,1 week PA)
Whore was my best friend

Posts: 700 | Registered: May 2010
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 21st (Friday)

(((((momof3gbb))))

She's a STUPID BITCH, forget her

I'm so sorry for your pain, it's HORRIBLE that you are having to go through this.

(((((momof3gbb))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2559 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
LadyYoga
Member
Member # 28611
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Keep the comments coming because I just drafted a letter to her to share the anger...
(Ps the ice cream shop is next to the shop I work at)


Ughh I just want to scream so I am writing you. Again, I don't know if I will send it. The ghost of a friend I used to have. Friend 1 and and Friend 2 were just in my store. Friend1 said she waited til you left to come in here. I hate this. Nothing can be done, too uncomfortable for everyone. It just sucks. We can't control people, we can't change the past. Friendships around here will never be the same.


BS (me) 39
WH 50
DD,DS,DS
D-day 3/11/10 (3 month EA,1 week PA)
Whore was my best friend

Posts: 700 | Registered: May 2010
DeadMumWalking
Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, June 21st (Friday)

DO NOT SEND!!!!!!!!!

To find peace, you will need to work on detaching. The most effective way to do this is NC.

NC = no new hurts.

Keep that letter to yourself. Write it on toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. You will get the feelings out without giving HER the satisfaction of knowing she is getting to you.

It is so hard, truly I know.

((((mom0f3gbb))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2559 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
musiclovingmom
Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I love the toilet paper idea! I am sorry for you. It is hard to live in a small town where OW could always be around the next corner. No real advice, just tons of empathy.

Posts: 1057 | Registered: Jan 2013
LadyYoga
Member
Member # 28611
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I do know though that my words do hurt her. And this would get to her too. But, I would open up communication again. I have to text her almost daily but it's just basic stuff like "DS wants to come over"etc. just "shop talk". What the REAL problem is that I can't talk about this w H. As you all know, he's in the "doesn't get it" camp. I just want to scream!!!!


BS (me) 39
WH 50
DD,DS,DS
D-day 3/11/10 (3 month EA,1 week PA)
Whore was my best friend

Posts: 700 | Registered: May 2010
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 21st (Friday)

I've been in the "husband doesn't get it" camp also.

Focus on you. Do you have a GOOD IC? One that not only listens but gives coping strategies? Helps you grow away from your issues and towards loving yourself enough to be able to say "Enough?"

I tell you what, the healthier I have gotten the easier it is to look at your H's behaviors and know what's crap and you don't have to accept. It's made me strong enough to decide he can catch up or get left the hell behind.

I think if you could get there, OW wouldn't be the issue she is. That's not saying she shouldn't be an issue at all, but some of her emotional power over you will wane when you grow in yourself and away from expecting anything from two obviously selfish people.

((((Mom3))))


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11134 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
LadyYoga
Member
Member # 28611
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, June 21st (Friday)

Holly,
Yes, IC is good and I am doing well these days. Just triggering and pissed off that she even exists.


BS (me) 39
WH 50
DD,DS,DS
D-day 3/11/10 (3 month EA,1 week PA)
Whore was my best friend

Posts: 700 | Registered: May 2010
Topic Posts: 8